Chances of getting pregnant at 50

[hitandmist]

I didn’t really know where to put this thread so I may post in a couple of topics
I am 50 and perimenopausal. I still have periods although they’ve become very irregular since starting HRT 6 months ago.
I have been seeing someone casually for a couple of months. We don’t use protection. We probably have sex 4 times a month. We did discuss protection at the start and I decided I was happy to go without.
He’s now saying he’s worried about me getting pregnant. I really think this is unlikely although not impossible. I really don’t want to start using condoms. I don’t want to use other forms of birth control as they completely mess me up.
What would you do in this situation?

Herpes or HIV will certainly interrupt more than a moment. FFS my teenage kids have more sense.

I came off the mini pill 18 months ago aged 48. The consultant said I was still ovulating so use protection. DH and I don’t use protection and have sex around 4-6 times a week. Never fell pregnant

It doesn’t really matter what we all think or what he agreed at the start or even that you’re happy to chance it. He has every right not to want to father a child, however unlikely that outcome is. Between age and medical conditions I’m very unlikely to conceive at this point but I’d take a very dim view of my DH trying to tell me we shouldn’t use contraceptives and he was ok with the risk - I’m not! If you were a man complaining about condoms and wanting to take risks of pregnancy against your partners wishes you’d get slaughtered.

Both of you need to be completely onboard with the risks you’re taking, otherwise you need to use condoms. Pulling out is not reliable contraception.

Statistically, the chances of you getting pregnant at 50 is very low but it's not zero. If you did get pregnant, would statistics be a comfort to you? I doubt it. If you do not want a child you have to be using contraception. If your partner says he doesn't want a child but whinges about condoms, that would be a bit of a red flag for me in terms of his behaviour.

The nhs said it’s not a reliable form contraception.

which is what I said.

i wouldn’t recommend it to a couple in their 20s going at it like rabbits.

But for a 50 year old, perimenopausal woman, having infrequent sex with a partner, paired with tracking her cycle, the overall risk is going to be pretty low.

I personally wouldn't take the risk. With irregular periods you also risk getting a few months into the pregnancy without realising which reduces options if you do get pregnant. 1% is low risk but someone is going to be that 1 in 100 that gets pregnant and there's nothing to say you won't be that 1.

once you're over a certain age they prescribe HRT based on symptoms not blood tests

Chances slim but not zero.
Chances of carrying to term if you do get pregnant, reduced. Changes of baby having disabilities, increased.

If he doesnt want to risk it thats fine. He doesnt have to have sex with you. He can say he is using a condom and if you dont want that then he simply won't have sex with you.

I think he's being responsible tbh.

He doesn't want to be the dad of the 1 percent.

Surely getting HIV is more of a concern?

I mean I can only talk from personal experience but I always take this approach but what I learnt from my ex is that you don't always get an honest answer unless you're getting tested together or asking to see proof of a healthy sti check. Turned out he'd never had one done and just talked like he had.

Unlikely to have a viable pregnancy, no.

But I work in sexual health and one group where we see a spike in STIs and particularly HIV is women in their 50s. Because suddenly safer sex goes out the window due to (peri)menopause, but the risks of acquiring a sexually transmitted infection are still the same as always. This is especially so as there is a demographic of men in their 50s and 60s in casual relationships and also using sex workers.

An STI is much more inconvenient. You've more chance of catching an STI then getting pregnant at 49.

The biggest rise in unwanted pregnancies and STIs is amongst middle aged women.

Very irresponsible...

Would you get an abortion if you became pregnant? Have you discussed that?

If you’re having periods, you could get pregnant. The chances are small, but not 0%, and it happens.
If you don’t want a baby and you don’t want to use contraception, then one of you should get sterilised.

If you are having regular periods do not stop using contraception, whatever your age. I am 50 and I’ve recently had a shock miscarriage. Have had regular periods but the last one didn’t arrive. I foolishly assumed it was for menopausal reasons seeing as I’m now 50. Then I had a lot of unusual bleeding so I did a preg test and was very shocked to get a positive. 3 times. Turned out to be a miscarriage at approx 8 weeks confirmed by EPU. I don’t know who was more shocked, me or my GP. The chances are my age are less than 1%. But if still having periods,there is still a chance. Despite the world telling us our fertility drops off a cliff after age 35, it certainly wasn’t the case here.

At 50yo both DH and I would have been swinging from a tree rather than risking another pregnancy. That meant 2 x contraceptive methods.

Why is that hard to believe? I asked for STI test before my (now) DH and I first slept together. Took about a week, job done.

"Casually" (your words) seeing someone for a couple of months and you are having unprotected sex 😬. If he is casually seeing you, how do you know he isn't casually seeing other people? I know your question is about pregnancy, which also isn't impossible, I imagine falling pregnant is still possible but you'd probably miscarry as most of your eggs will have chromosomal abnormalities. I wouldn't be taking the risk personally both with my sexual health and the small risk of pregnany. There's always the chance you are the 1 person it happens to!

The OP said she was the one who didn't want to use condoms, not him.

That was confirmed in response to my comment.
I find it really foolish at this age to be playing Russian roulette with getting pregnant and all the complications that come with it.

LOL at all the people saying 'Well, he should get the snip' for a woman he's only been seeing for two months on a casual basis.

So why are you asking on here then? 🫤

It's unlikely to happen but not completely unheard of. I've no idea whether being on HRT would make you more, or less likely to conceive at your age.

If you were to conceive, once you'd got over the shock, how would you proceed?

OMG the instances of STI in older people is really high for just this stupid reason. You have NO IDEA of his sexual history. Good luck with getting herpes or HIV at 50. You are being very foolish.