Chances of getting pregnant at 50

[hitandmist]

I didn’t really know where to put this thread so I may post in a couple of topics
I am 50 and perimenopausal. I still have periods although they’ve become very irregular since starting HRT 6 months ago.
I have been seeing someone casually for a couple of months. We don’t use protection. We probably have sex 4 times a month. We did discuss protection at the start and I decided I was happy to go without.
He’s now saying he’s worried about me getting pregnant. I really think this is unlikely although not impossible. I really don’t want to start using condoms. I don’t want to use other forms of birth control as they completely mess me up.
What would you do in this situation?

“ anecdotal stuff is interesting but it doesn’t really make a difference. The facts are, although not impossible, it’s incredibly rare to get pregnant at 50”

As I just said, I’ve recently this month had a miscarriage at the age of 50 which was a total shock as I didn’t know I was pregnant or likely to be at my age. Rare yes but very possible. We use contraception but once didn’t put a condom on right from the start, basically a minute with no protection and pre cum got me pregnant. The odds are astonishingly low, GP said less than 1%. And it’s not like I’ve been chancing my luck not using protection for months. Take this as a warning. It’s taken 2 weeks for the miscarriage to complete. Going to the EPU was not something I want to repeat again. It’s been stressful. I’ll be using protection way beyond age 55 if I’m still having regular periods.

I used to take this approach. We discussed it and all ok.

But then I found out the hard way that people lie when they discuss history, tests etc.

HRT is also hormones. For some the mirena is used for the progesterone component which is of course birth control. OP really should have a chat with her Dr about what HRT she is on and whether it is also acting as birth control.

Grown women playing fast and loose with their sexual health never ceases to amaze me.

If you are having a medical procedure they still take a pregnancy test until you are 55. I am 55 and just stopped using protection. I have not had a period for 4 years.

HRT is not a contraceptive and cannot prevent pregnancy during perimenopause.

@Zozoza

Stressful yes but it still didn’t end in a live birth? I’m prepared to risk it at 50 with long term husband. I won’t have an implant at that age. I would get a termination, obviously that would be a one time thing only and not a method of contraception but the “risk” is small.

I dunno though, my mum was 59 when her periods eventually stopped. There’s no point in my husband getting the snip at 50 years of age in my honest opinion.

Ive always had the implant as it stopped my periods and I never wanted to give that up. Condoms are an absolute no I would rather not even have sex. I just think, on balance, the likelihood of pregnancy is low and even if that did happen it could be sorted.

From experience you could try different condoms.Ribbed, ribs and dots and flavoured.
Hope that this helps.

Really unlikely that you'll get pregnant, but if he's worried could he have a vasectomy?9

Well there’s a 95% chance of miscarriage over the age of 50 so going full term is pretty unlikely and you wouldn’t have the option to choose, it would happen to you whether you like it or not.

My father was born in the 1950’s three months before my grandmothers 51st birthday, she thought he was a hernia for 6 months !!

You're irritated?!

I'm not surprised he is worried, it's a low risk but still a risk.

Vasectomy doesn't make sense for a casual relationship of a couple of months. So him using some other protection to be as protected as possible against the odds of pregnancy or diseases makes sense.

Diaphragm o cervical cap. I've used it for years either no issues. I don't understand why people don't use it more. (Ah, yes, it's not so profitable for pharma companies).

I had a lot of sex from 49 onwards without worrying about contraception - like you I looked up the figures and reckoned being that age was 99% effective as a prevention against live birth. However, in my case it was a bit different as I was seeing multiple partners so we used condoms for protection against disease. There was one partner I didn’t use condoms with but we only had sex about 6 times over a year without, so chances were so infinitesimal they were invisible. Regular sex does increase the risk back to that 1% and so it’s not nothing.

I correctly got a telling off from the GP as I’m sure it’s right that the age protection against conceiving at all is less than 99%, and miscarriage or abortion is no joke at any age. However, by that time my shenanigans were winding down.

I did use a diaphragm sometimes. They are so bad at protecting for younger women that they aren’t prescribed any more, but you can still buy them on Amazon and they are less horrible than they used to be. That could reduce the risk enough for your partner to feel more comfortable. Of course you can also just do non penetrative sex. Pic is nice though.

You could have a Mirena coil and this would have the added benefit of also potentially serving as the progesterone component of your HRT.

Im guessing you will be even more irritated if you get pregnant due to your lack of bothering with any form of contraception
It can happen.my friend had her unexpected child at 48

But there IS a reason the medical advice is 55 or a full year without periods. And that's because it CAN happen.

Do you know the stats for early 40s? Any time I have googled it the information is presented in a 'there is hope' kind of way, which I am absolutely the fuck not interested in.

I know that, the point i was making was that just because she's on HRT doesn't mean her Dr will have done bloods! As far as I've found, the mirena is the only type of HRT that doubles up as birth control (or really it's a birth control tool that doubles up as HRT).

OP I'm recovering from a complex termination Monday just gone, at 44. 44 isn't 50 but I had the coil and it partially migrated resulted in a very shocking pregnancy. I wouldn't recommend the couple of weeks I've had. Use some protection x

Doesn't anyone worry about getting an STI or HIV anymore? Casual sex and no protection? This is why rates of STI among older people have shot up.

Almost all of those stories are where a woman took on a young relative's child.

Bless you, that's so distressing. See my post above re termination this week. Our middle aged bodies are capable of all sorts x

I would put it around the same odds as winning the lottery. Possible but HIGHLY unlikely.

Yes, you can still fall pregnant if you're having any sort of menstruation, scant or otherwise. Before having unprotected sex, get a blood test to see where your hormone levels are, as that will show if you're actually menopausal or not.

Pregnancy at your age is dangerous, but mostly for the baby, who would have a very good chance of serious health issues or deformity. It's not all about you here.

Now, let's please stop deferring to what your partner prefers and take responsibility for your own health and well-being. You're a grown ass woman who should know better.