Chances of getting pregnant at 50

[hitandmist]

I didn’t really know where to put this thread so I may post in a couple of topics
I am 50 and perimenopausal. I still have periods although they’ve become very irregular since starting HRT 6 months ago.
I have been seeing someone casually for a couple of months. We don’t use protection. We probably have sex 4 times a month. We did discuss protection at the start and I decided I was happy to go without.
He’s now saying he’s worried about me getting pregnant. I really think this is unlikely although not impossible. I really don’t want to start using condoms. I don’t want to use other forms of birth control as they completely mess me up.
What would you do in this situation?

Oh, I think it's fine if it works for you. But I'm not sure it'll be well received as a suggestion on this thread, considering other, more statistically effective methods are being shouted down.

The problem with the withdrawal method is the time you should most not rely on it, around ovulation, was always when I most wanted sex and was more prepared to take risks. This is exactly what biology wanted me to do, but it would take a stronger minded woman than I am to rely on it. If you're not ovulating any more, it could be less of a risk.

But you've already said if you did miraculously conceive that you would have no hesitation in terminating immediately, so I don't understand this comment. If you genuinely have no intention of progressing any pregnancy then the safety and health aspects of doing so should of absolutely no concern to you.

Frankly I don't blame any man for refusing to take a woman's word for it that:

1. she has no intention of becoming PG

2. would definitely have a termination if she did

3. the likelihood of her getting PG is virtually nil due to her age or some other apparent fertility issue

4. she is using her own birth control so there is absolutely no need for him to use condoms as well. In fact the more emphatic she is about not wanting him to use condoms, the more emphatic he should be that he must.

How women say they would behave in the event of an unplanned PG before one has happened, and how they do behave when it does are often two very different things.

"Last prayer" twins are a known phenomenon for women nearing the end of their fertility. Apparently nature likes to maximise the continuation of the species. I know someone who had twins at 54 so there is no way I would risk it.

Goodness me, some people do get very upset and like to create all sorts of nonsense as well. But this is Mumsnet so to be expected 🙄
Of course STIs are a concern. Of course I’m not immune. Of course I’m concerned about a pregnancy that goes wrong or having an abortion. I simply asked what you would do about contraception, I didn’t want to focus on STIs as that’s not what I was asking about. But once again this is Mumsnet.
I’ve not dismissed any of the sensible options put to me and I’ll be discussing them with him. The people throwing all sorts of insults about can get in the bin 😂

@hitandmist So you just want to play Russian roulette with your sexual health.

I read some forms of contraception haven't suited you, but if you are thinking of condoms, have you also thought of using a 'cap' or a diaphragm? They have approx the same % of failure rate as condoms, but do not change the 'feel' for either partner and the advantage as a woman, you are in control. Might not be the best option when you're a teenager/early 20s, at top fertility and maybe inclined to get carried away and forget to insert it before intercourse, but might be an option for you.

Surely as a 50 year old adult you don’t need to ask strangers on the internet about what they would do about contraception…..???

Baffling.

OMG! I was just interested 😂

You really ought get a life 🙄

@hitandmist The NHS online has simple information on contraception for women aged 50.

It's easy to find online.

In a nutshell, you should use contraception for 2 years after a last period if they stop when you're under 50, and for one year after a last period if they stop when you're over 50.

Also if you're on HRT you won't know when your periods stop because you'll probably be havong a bleed every month with your HRT.

So it makes sense to use contraception for a good while yet.

As should you 😘

I’m not the one completely over invested in a thread on Mumsnet 😂
I’m also not the one making up all sorts of rubbish.
But you do you, as they say 😘

Can’t believe it’s you that’s got this attitude!!
Unless you want a baby at 50, use protection, get sterilized, use whatever, there’s plenty of choice, what’s worse, an unwanted pregnancy or STI or not quite perfect sex?!

It's truly horrible getting pregnant knowing it's just not going to be viable due to age and other factors. I guess you could get an "egg check" to see if you're still ovulating as obviously that's more important than periods. But perimenopause can apparently make you suddenly very fertile in a sort of last fling thing. I'd be worried about getting pregnant too.

Some people just like to connect with others.

Early forties is still massive danger-zone. You need to use contraception at that age if you don't want to get pregnant, 1000 percent.

It's a lot more likely than winning the lottery, yet how many people buy tickets?
Pulling out is not reliable, and also carries a higher STI risk but-
You said you don't want people talking about STIs, so ok, but please do talk to your GP or a contraceptive nurse. They know your specific history and can advise for you.
Wouldn't necessarily trust him on the snip, which people mention, because he MIGHT still be thinking about a kid in the future with someone else. I hope he's a good guy, and I don't want to sound like I'm saying men are less trustworthy, but we've all heard the stories of a man suddenly deciding he wants another go at a family in his 50s.

You're still ovulating.
You're still fertile.
The menopausal body likes to push out eggs in 2s sometimes.
You're enjoying the sex more than worrying about responsibility.
He sounds like a responsible man and he can't relax.

Two months into seeing a new man you should focus on not getting pregnant (as well as the rest.)

A simple internet search shows the stats and yes, there are women of 50 giving birth.

There were 824 live births for women over 50 in the last 5 years of records.

If you want to take a risk fine, but the man you're seeing doesn't.

The likelihood is so small but still exists.
In our 50s, we'll experience mostly anovulatory cycles. But there will still be that one rogue period where we ovulate. Pregnancy can happen. You won't know when you're ovulating unless you're actively tracking your cycle. Easiest thing in the world is contraception.