Chances of getting pregnant at 50

[hitandmist]

I didn’t really know where to put this thread so I may post in a couple of topics
I am 50 and perimenopausal. I still have periods although they’ve become very irregular since starting HRT 6 months ago.
I have been seeing someone casually for a couple of months. We don’t use protection. We probably have sex 4 times a month. We did discuss protection at the start and I decided I was happy to go without.
He’s now saying he’s worried about me getting pregnant. I really think this is unlikely although not impossible. I really don’t want to start using condoms. I don’t want to use other forms of birth control as they completely mess me up.
What would you do in this situation?

I share your pain, late 40's, been on HRT a few years, periods all over the place, but they say you should use contraception even for a year or two after your last period. I'll admit we're pretty relaxed about condoms after a couple of years but he does tend to be pretty good at pulling out in time. That said, you can still get pregnant from pre-cum and it does make one hell of a mess.

Youve been seeing him 2 months and having unprotected sex. What about sti's.

For goodness sake do I need to give you dates and results of our STI tests to stop you talking about STIs??

Pull out is the worst- certainly spoils the flow far more than a condom- and it doesn't really work.

I'd just decide whether you care about the very small chance and either use contraception or don't. There are lots of types of contraception you could try, from mini pill to Mirena.

OMG. The fastest rising group of people contracting HIV in the western world are oldies dating post menopause and having sex without contraception.

@DeadBugthank you for a helpful suggestion, I’ll take a look into that

That's my feeling too

Yes I guess tbf him having to pull out must be difficult as that’s what he’ll be concentrating on

Whilst extremely unlikely it is still possible and I think it’s good he wants to be extra cautious just in case.

Abstinence if you refuse to use protection.

As others have said, pregnancy is not the only risk.

It's very very rare - NHS guidance is you can stop with contraception at 55 even if you're still having regular periods (your periods can become non-ovalutory so you don't release an egg even if you're still having them). I think the chance of carrying a baby to term is less than 1% once you're 50 (so better odds than a 30 year old using condoms). HOWEVER it's slightly higher odds that you'll get pregnant, just suffer a miscarriage, so personally that would be my worry rather than a live pregnancy - could be quite distressing to go through even if you don't want a baby.

Can you use condoms? Or track your cycle and use condoms when you "would be" ovulating?

I think guidance is one year after last period if not using hormonal methods (two if under 50 ) or over 55.

It does happen - it happended in DH family - twins and no it wasn't a young relative it was post 50 high risk pg but there was a long history of later births down that female line. It's more ususal to get pg and then miscarry.

I don't like hormonal contractives - I seem to react badly and copper coil not good idea with history of heavy periods - there seems to be little option left but condoms for us and certainly nothing GP or nurse have suggested anything better and have asked over years just get told this form of hormonal contractive will be different. I was bit taken aback there aren't more offered options TBH like contraceptive diaphragm or something.

Not sure wat to suggest - pg is unlikely but not impossible and most likely outcome if do get pg is a miscarriage - if that something you are okay with that fine but he clearly views the risks bit differently to you so that's another hurdle.

Would he be willing to have the snip?

I’d suggest vasectomy. I imagine the worry will magically go away when it’s his health being inpacted but maybe I’m wrong and he goes for it. Either way you win out.

I too would be more concerns about STI's more than a pregnancy tbh, especially if it is a casual relationship. He might be seeing someone else.
Bare in mind no 20 year old should have a 70 year old parent nor would probably want one that age.

STI rates are rising in people over 50 so it's pretty bloody stupid not to use protection.

What about one of the rhythm method / cycle tracking and body temperature apps like Natural Cycles https://www.nhs.uk/contraception/methods-of-contraception/natural-family-planning/ (though not sure how it fits with menopause).

sorry you are getting so many rude comments about STIs as if you wouldn’t have thought about that

if he plans on having no / no more children he could always take care of that with a vasectomy…

I had to have surgery recently and they did a pregnancy test on the morning I went it. Standard for under age 55.

Its the fact he’s decided to change the goalposts despite discussing it at the start
I think I’ll suggest we try condoms although I suspect he won’t be happy with having to buy them 😂

What HRT are you on? Could that be acting as hormonal birth control?

Well he sounds a catch.

I feel like what I’m getting from this thread is that anyone, and I mean anyone, who’s having sex should be using condoms? So even if you’re married you should use condoms as there’s always a chance you or your spouse will cheat? That’s what it seems like 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Holtomeit was a joke…

The second you start talking 'chances' i switch off.

Go ahead, take the risk. If you get pregnant, please dont come back on here with a sob story. If you want to make 100% sure either abstain or use birth control of whatever form has been suggested over and over again.

For me it was a discussion with my partner and a vasectomy. I am very much in the same situation as you are and my partner said 100% he didnt want further children which it looks like your partner is the same. If thats the case a vasectomy is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

I kept it all about pregnancy and didnt bring STI's into things

Physio here. I worked in Materniy/Gynae a while back. We had two ladies 50+ who had babies. For one it was her first and only child. Just saying.