Chances of getting pregnant at 50

[hitandmist]

I didn’t really know where to put this thread so I may post in a couple of topics
I am 50 and perimenopausal. I still have periods although they’ve become very irregular since starting HRT 6 months ago.
I have been seeing someone casually for a couple of months. We don’t use protection. We probably have sex 4 times a month. We did discuss protection at the start and I decided I was happy to go without.
He’s now saying he’s worried about me getting pregnant. I really think this is unlikely although not impossible. I really don’t want to start using condoms. I don’t want to use other forms of birth control as they completely mess me up.
What would you do in this situation?

I know you are only interested in whether you could get pregnant at your age. But I have to say I'm a bit stunned you are not using condoms. STDs are a far greater risk than getting pregnant. I get not wanting to use them, nobody does, but still...
I'm also surprised to see any reference to the "pull out" method being a valid method of birth control, when in fact it's not.

I'm sitting here breastfeeding my pull-out surprise 3rd baby right now.

I'm 48.

Coil / Mirena would be my suggestion.

My Nana had her last child when she was 48. That child, my aunt, is still alive and in her late eighties. So pregnancy is unlikely, but not impossible. Your lover is the one who is worried, so ask him what he wants to do about it.

Of course getting pregnant at 50 is possible. So is having a miscarriage. There’s no way I’d want either of those things to happen in a new relationship. Get a coil.

Again, studies show that the pull-out method is only 1% less reliable than condoms. So if the pull-out method isn't contraception, then neither are condoms.

And the contraceptive pill has a real world fail rate of 7-9%!

The myth that the pull-out method doesn't work is in fact just that: a myth. Yes, like condoms and contraceptive pills etc, it's not half as reliable as an implant or coil, but if used responsibly, it's pretty much on par with condoms.

So if a woman is happy with the small possibility of getting pregnant (AKA either fine with having a child, or getting an early abortion), then the pull out method, condoms, the pill etc, are all reasonable options.

(Although yes, of course condoms protect against STIs!)

Personally though, I find the sensation of condoms unpleasant and uncomfortable, and they put me off wanting to have penetrative sex, so once at a point where I've been assured my partner didn't have STIs and trusted them, then I wouldn't want to use condoms either.

Grow up. Imagine how someone WITH herpes feels reading that. Do you act that way over a cold sore?

No concern about STIs?

Female condoms are difficult to get in the UK. (They are more easily available in Africa, where the risk of HIV is higher than here.)

A cap is a diaphragm, not a female condom. Diaphragms can also be harder to get these days - you have to get them properly fitted, and a friend found recently there's no trained nurse available do it in her GP practice. As someone pointed out upthread, there's little money to be made. If they're not training up more nurses, they will become even harder to get.

Which means condoms are the only real option as a barrier contraceptive. There are lots of different ones available these days, including ones thst are meant to be almost unnoticeable to feel.

In my dating experiences around 50, there have been a couple of men who couldn't keep it up long enough to get a condom on, but most were fine. Men of this age are very reluctant to use condoms though, which has surprised me, as we reached puberty at the height if the AIDS epidemic, and we were all going to die from it - and if I'm up for shagging one bloke on a first date, I've probably done so with others, so why don't they want to protect themselves, let alone me? I did regular STI tests anyway, I wouldn't rely on them, but the stats on STI numbers is no surprise, the way some of them behave. I asked them to wear a condom, not go out and drown kittens or gun down their parents.

So yes, just go for the condoms, OP. You can make it fun.

Ask Victoia Coren Mitchell. She gog pregnant at 51.

Hrft but natural pregnancy at 50 is extremely rare, successful even less so as egg quality is poor and often results in miscarriage.

I've had fertility treatment so I'm current eith some of the stats.

There are a few people who claim natural late fertility, but I'm told is actually very unlikely.

OP you are not listening to anyone’s views . Basically you just want us to say no you won’t get pg but that is not the case as you are still apparently ovulating. There is one word for people who use the pull out method - Parents ! It’s certainly not reliable. Just use a condom or ask him to do something about it as he’s so concerned

Again: Condoms are only 1% more effective than the pull-out method.

People should be aware that if they think the pull-out method isn't effective contraception, then neither are condoms, and they need to use another form of contraception if they're unhappy with that.

Please don't give health advice. Point to the source for this as it sounds total rubbish. And would depend on the man as well.

Some people do believe some junk.

A quick Google says that the pull out method can, at worst be only 80% effective. It's going to be dependent on the man recognising that he's going to orgasm and being quick enough at pulling out to ensure 94% effectiveness. Using spermicide will make it more efficient but honestly I wouldn't trust a man to do it effectively.

According to this study, the failure rate for the pull out method with perfect-use is 4%, compared to condoms at 3%.

"The perfect-use failure rate for withdrawal is 4% compared to 3% for condoms; similarly, within the first year of use, 18% of couples relying on withdrawal will experience a pregnancy, comparable to the 17% of couples using male condoms."

This information page does say that condoms have a 13% failure rate for typical use, versus 20% for withdrawal, while this page uses an 18% failure rate for male condoms again, so obviously studies do vary, but 18% failure for condoms versus 20% for withdrawal seems to be the norm.

Obviously, some men don't have the self-control to be able to do it effectively, but if a man can be trusted to do it every single time, and knows how to do it properly (just as one needs to know how to put on a condom properly) then the fail rate is only 4%.

Personally, I've never had a problem, and in the OP's case it seems like a reasonable option, as I doubt that at the age of 50, she's going to be massively fertile!!!

In addition to males condoms having a 13 - 18% failure rate, female condoms have a failure rate of 21%, so are less effective than the pull-out method, diaphragms have a failure rate of 16%, cervical caps have a failure rate of 29% in women who have given birth before, and spermicides have a failure rate of 15 - 29%, and aren't good for your vagina, while the NFP method is 12 - 24% with typical use.

So really, if you're not using hormonal contraceptives or a coil, they're all pretty high risk options if you aren't managing perfect usage!!

Victoria and her husband used IVF.

This. The 'condoms are only 1% more effective than the 'pull out' method' comment is a bit off. Condoms are 98% effective if used correctly. Pull-out method has approximately 80% effectiveness. You need to use condoms because of STIs though. The OP doesn't want us to talk about this though. She says it's irrelevant. Apparently, she is immune to all STIs. 🙄

.

Highly unlikely but still possible until you have completed menopause. My friend’s parents were 49 when she was born, her mum thought it was menopause. I always found it crazy they were in their 60s when we were teens but there you go, it happens.

OP is completely immune to STIs

Chances are nill

Have you considered a cap? I am like you and didn't get on with hormonal contraception and I find condoms a bit faffy.
Once I was in a committed relationship I moved to the cap which you can put in hours in advance and then leave for hours. So basically means you dont have to interrupt anything like you do with condoms. This along with tracking my cycle initially so I was also aware of ovulation day was quite good

No. I've shared studies. Where are your sources? Studies show that condoms are 97% effective with perfect use, and the withdrawal method is 96%.

Gracious, why is everyone so determinedly arguing against statistics with nothing more than misinformation?

A cap has a failure rate of 29% if you've had children, so don't suggest that to OP! Apparently anything other than condoms or hormonal contraception is ineffective and ridiculous to suggest.

I think you are being ridiculous

To quote the NHS website: If correctly used diaphragms and caps are estimated to be between 92 and 96% effective. If not used correctly they are less effective.