Where are all the nice 50-something, single males?

[MysticalChipmunk]

Are they hiding? I can’t find one. OLD is dire and not for me. What can I do?

Ok? I didn't say there are millions of single, childfree women, just that they're the happiest group, across many areas. 🤷

Sadly lots of women still believe they 'need' some man, or that one will enhance their lives and not add to the drudgery.

I don't think it's "sad" to think that meeting someone will enhance one's life. The right person definitely will do.

This is my point exactly. Any man who is functional as a partner is not going to be single at this age. He will already be partnered up. Either a long relationship or a new one.
That's why I said earlier, if you find one, ask his ex why she divorced him.

If my husband and his friends are anything to go by - I think you need to find their music related interests and go via this. ie. local gigs - ??

Do you teach them which outfits to wear on dates, how to sit, the 70:30 listening/speaking rule, and take them to elocution classes too?

Don’t they say that 90% of women go after just 10% of men? I think this is part of the problem.

If you want a 10% man, then you have to willing to poach him of someone else!

I have friend who has been single throughout her 20s and 30s, and constantly complains that there are no good men, but the problem is that she always goes for the really good looking ones, when she’s fairly average herself. Having standards is one thing, but I think a lot of people set them too high and overestimate what they are bringing to the table.

At least he's being upfront.

That’s not a flex and it’s nothing to be proud of

Yeah, all of that if it makes sure that they avoid the disgusting types that frequent Tinder, it’ll be worth the investment of time and energy

This is the second time you’ve said this. So your assumption is that any single man my age is a relationship car crash and has been chucked by an ex?

That’s quite a stretch to make and, if I may, a distasteful reflection that says more about your skewed perception than that of the men you project it on to.

How very narrow minded to think that it’s only ever men to blame for relationships ending … and sadly it’s the propagation of this lack of mutual accountability that helps keeps people single.

Yes, on Bumble now but incognito. I keep changing location to see what’s out there (as nothing available in my local area).

I’m 5ft 6” so you’re taller than me 😌

Do you remember that movie with Mel Gibson…What Women Want…we need a What Men Want version 😉

Married or have some kind of issues or want younger , I’ve just left a relationship with 10 older nice at first but quickly realised why he was single , so I popped him back on the shelf and labelled damaged goods ha x

Not always true. I'm related to a man who fits what OP is after but I'm not even sure if he wants another relationship. His ex wife cheated on him many years ago and he's not dated since. He works from home and spends the majority of his time looking after his son.

The single 50 something men I know, like many women on here, seem to quite content staying single. They have decent jobs, healthy social circles and pursue various sports/hobbies etc. They too have at times run the gauntlet of OLD in the past and have just found it depressing in terms of the quality of people on offer, time wasters and fruitcakes. They seem to be leading happy lives.

No it doesn't - it teaches them to target the wealthy disgusting types on Tinder

Wrong.

They’re not the nice ones!

I’m 60 and the apps are a cesspit full of sleazes wanting easy zero effort sex or men wanting either a woman 10/15/20 years their junior or a nurse with a purse.
All of my single 50+ friends have given up looking and just think of it happens, it happens.

All of the people I know who have met partners later in life have met someone naturally. Either socially, through a hobby or friends or just a lucky circumstance. One friend for example met her now partner when he was the electrician who came to fix her lights.

As a woman in her 30s, I would absolutely not want a man in his 50s, especially as a long term partner. I really don't think a lot of women who say the don't mind large age gaps have actually considered how imbalanced relationships like that are, and how likely they are going to be tossed aside if the man thinks he can bag someone even younger.

Honestly I think that's quite a generous statistic. I'd say it's about 5% or less. I mean, just imagine walking down a street and picking 10 random men, or even picking 10 men that have one or two hobbies in common with you. What are the chances of you actually fancying one of them, or being compatible as sexual or life partners? For me I'd say it's under 1%.

I did OLD a few years ago when I was 55/56 and hit messaged by men in their late 70’s right the way up to 81!

One I clearly remember is 79 year old Barry who resembled Dobby told me age is nothing but a number and then got abusive when I replied with a polite no thank you.

Everyone has preferences obviously, for example I won’t date anyone overweight ,too thin shorter than me or that smokes .
Bit hypocritical though , has kids himself but won’t date anyone with kids 🙄.

Really interesting to see make POV on here (from ‘nice’ single males!).

I’m the same sort of age, got one divorce and one long term relationship under my belt and been burnt too much! I do acknowledge my part in the breakdown of those relationships though.

I wouldn’t say I’m ‘happily’ single, but happier than I would be going through all the meeting someone, getting to know them, trusting, being vulnerable etc. The thought of being single for the rest of my days isn’t nice but feels the lesser of two not nice things!

Honestly though, I think the decent single ones might not be on the Apps but out and about getting on with life. Meeting someone that way would be far better IMHO where a relationship grows organically from a mutual interest and a friendship first.