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Original poster

Partner said I’ve let my self go

178 replies

Mommy2onexxx · 03/04/2026 21:33

Today my partner picked me up from work we have been together for 5 ish years , he’s been so cold towards me recently and kept commenting on my looks , I kinda shrugged the comments off like an idiot , anyways today when I got in the car I asked him why he is being so horrible I explained he is making me feel small and unworthy , he said this is because I’ve let my self go and I don’t glam up the way I used to do my hair and makeup everyday ect , I explained I simply do not have the time the way I used to when I was 18 19 , I work , I’m a mom I run a home and I’m working towards my level 4 qualification, he said I should make time , I know he does truly find me ugly now I can just tell I see him searching other women he is so sharp and snappy with me and he is out all the time . I think what I’m looking for here is someone to tell me that it’s okay to loose your way abit I just feel so heartbroken

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 04/04/2026 11:47

Mommy2onexxx · 03/04/2026 21:59

No I do all house work , the bills are also all in my name so my responsibility our little girl I would say is fully my responsibility to apart from the two days he picks her up from nursery .

This dusty loser is negging you so you don't put him out with the household trash like he deserves. If he tears down your self esteem, you're less likely to leave such a low performing lazy ass partner.

Get rid of this one, he's nasty. Get your ducks in order, split, and co-parent.

thetinsoldier · 04/04/2026 11:54

Mommy2onexxx · 03/04/2026 21:59

No I do all house work , the bills are also all in my name so my responsibility our little girl I would say is fully my responsibility to apart from the two days he picks her up from nursery .

I knew he’d be a useless lazy cunt around the house too.

What do you mean, the bills are all in your name? Why? What does he contribute financially?

Time to get your ducks in a row, op. You deserve much better.

wizzywig · 04/04/2026 11:59

So perfect time for him to take over and you get some rest, exercise, hair and beauty stuff and yeah his head has been turned

Crikeyalmightey · 04/04/2026 12:00

LTB ASAP, he is a moron.

JLou08 · 04/04/2026 12:27

He sounds like a useless prick. Not contributing to the household in any way then having the audacity to comment on you not glamming up. Get rid. Is he a lot older than you? I get the impression of some older man who is only interested in teenagers and possibly groomed you.

ManyATrueWord · 04/04/2026 12:31

It's not you, it's him. If he truly meant what he said he would be making it possible for you to spend more time on yourself.

littleburn · 04/04/2026 12:33

Bloody hell, bin him! Doesn’t bring anything to the relationship and on top of that he’s now insulting you. Focus on getting your qualifications and building a great life for you and your daughter.

Emmz1510 · 04/04/2026 12:38

I’d start pointing out his flaws OP.
What a knob.

Grohlette · 04/04/2026 12:52

He could have been so much kinder, why didn’t he offer to treat you to a beauty treatment and hair cut some new clothes and spoiled you a little. My guess is he’s either playing away and making a move to separate or just a really I considerate twit who doesn’t really respect or recognise your worth. Don’t be a doormat and don’t change unless you really want to. Show him this thread!

PoppySaidYesIKnow · 04/04/2026 12:54

Who’s he, Adonis? He’s got his sights on someone else and he’s being cruel to justify his actions. He’s a prick and you’re worth ten of him. Tell him to find another home.

Disenchantedone · 04/04/2026 12:57

Don't be hard on yourself. You have not let yourself go, you are just juggling more priorities than doing hair and make up every day. He sounds like a useless creature. Maybe it is time to get rid of him and celebrate by going for a facial and getting your hair done! He doesn't care about your feelings.

ByUniqueViper · 04/04/2026 12:57

I too would be really upset by his behaviour. But how do you feel about yourself? Are you happy with how you look?
You still need some self care and some time for you. You dont need to look immaculate all the time but you still need to look like you.
No idea how your partner looks but how would you feel if he let himself go and no longer took pride in his appearance.

People are quick to jump on the bandwagon when men make comments like this but it does work both ways

MyDeftDuck · 04/04/2026 12:59

He needs a lesson in running a home and raising a child! OP! You have clearly got your priorities right….shame about the arsehole you’re with!
Try not cooking his dinner occasionally and spend that time having your hair done and a professional makeup session……surely he won’t mind if he is so invested on your appearance!

catipuss · 04/04/2026 13:02

As said spend some money on yourself get a really good haircut, posh nails, make up, expensive new outfit. And when you get home ask him where he's taking you for dinner and tell him all the things you can't do because it will muck up your glam new look.

I bet he's not quite the man you first met either, sounds like he's certainly lost his charm if nothing else.

Mypyjamasarebaggy · 04/04/2026 13:02

He’s blaming you ‘letting yourself go’ for your relationship breaking down because this is where this is heading. The problem isn’t you, it’s him. He wants all your attention but he isn’t earning it, you’ve found better things to focus on than him. What exactly does he bring to the table other than, at the moment your self worth? You have so much more going on and he resents it. You don’t need a man child, you deserve so much more than this. Don’t change yourself, he needs to change if he wants you. Dont hang on to relationships that bring you down, only ones that lift you up.

Biggles27 · 04/04/2026 13:02

Generally on here when I see LTB I often think sort it out rather than break up but in this case LTB

what a vile man, I’m sorry op but you are worth so much more. If he’s that shallow he’s not worth 5 minutes of your time

sending you hugs, sounds like you need them

Howmanycatsistoomany · 04/04/2026 13:04

Chatsbots · 03/04/2026 21:39

I'd let himself go.

Could not agree more!

EarthSight · 04/04/2026 13:07

Let him go OP.

The reason why a lot of men like this 'glammed up' look isn't be because the woman actually looks significantly prettier, although some do. It's because that glammed up look for men is a very sexual look, and that's what they're after.

If your sexual appeal was your number 1 attractive trait, that's why he's now angry and punishing you. To him, you've broken your end of the contract and because he doesn't really appreciate the rest of you very much, you've lost a lot of your value to him. A lot of young men do this I think - they just get so caught up in their lust and want to lock the woman down for themselves that I don't think they really think or care what that relationship will look like in a decade or two.

If he's like this now and you're only in your 20s, this relationship will be absolutely dead by the time you reach your 30s & 40s. He'll be out there looking for 19 year olds or very young women again, most likely.

EarthSight · 04/04/2026 13:08

PoppySaidYesIKnow · 04/04/2026 12:54

Who’s he, Adonis? He’s got his sights on someone else and he’s being cruel to justify his actions. He’s a prick and you’re worth ten of him. Tell him to find another home.

I'd love to a see a photo. These men are rarely, if ever attractive themselves.

AquaLeader · 04/04/2026 13:10

Let him go. You would be doing yourself a massive favour by doing so.

hypnovic · 04/04/2026 13:11

Let him go
He is an asshole
Once you aren't looking after this giant man baby you will have time and energy for yourself. Get rid and glow up win win

lemondrivelcake · 04/04/2026 13:12

AquaLeader · 04/04/2026 13:10

Let him go. You would be doing yourself a massive favour by doing so.

100% this. These men are never such a great catch themselves and tend to have a ridiculously distorted view of how busy women present themselves from day to day.

Letsgodancing · 04/04/2026 13:12

I am guessing you are still young if you met him when you were 18/19 and been together 5 years?

So my guess is you are still lovely but he is putting you down to make you feel less than.

Let him go, put your energy into your qualifications and being a mother, guarantee you will probably meet someone else (if that's something you would like in time) and he will come trying to get back with you. I've seen this time and time again, mother is stressed during early childhood years, man says she's not as glam as she used to be, woman ends up glowing up and looking great. man sees grass not greener on other side but by that time woman is well shot of him 🤣

I look back to when I was young 20s and am absolutely astonished by how I let the most mediocre of men put me down and make me feel less than, ironically in the years that followed I got a hey how are you text from all of them, and the actual decent ones who I did date but we weren't really compatible never said anything horrible.

But if you do want to continue with him, tell him he needs to step up more with childcare and chores so you can have time for looking glam and he will need to contribute to the costs of that. (Make up is not cheap these days, or go to the chanel/dior/expensive make up counter, and tell him he'll have to pay for what you need 😂)

cheapaschipsandcurrysauce · 04/04/2026 13:15

I don't wish to alarm you OP but I suspect he has someone else in the pipeline.

That's what happened to me.

I would 'get your ducks in a row': make copies of important documents such as bank statements, bills, driving licence, passport, house deeds, marriage certificate and keep them safe.
I would also seek a solicitors advice as to what you are entitled to in the event of a divorce.

In the meantime prepare for a new life by getting a hair restyle, renew makeup, get some salon beauty treatments in, and get some waxing done.
You may want to tweak your wardrobe a bit as well

Then ask him if he wants to fund all this 🙂

Good luck x

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