Partner said I’ve let my self go

[Mommy2onexxx]

Today my partner picked me up from work we have been together for 5 ish years , he’s been so cold towards me recently and kept commenting on my looks , I kinda shrugged the comments off like an idiot , anyways today when I got in the car I asked him why he is being so horrible I explained he is making me feel small and unworthy , he said this is because I’ve let my self go and I don’t glam up the way I used to do my hair and makeup everyday ect , I explained I simply do not have the time the way I used to when I was 18 19 , I work , I’m a mom I run a home and I’m working towards my level 4 qualification, he said I should make time , I know he does truly find me ugly now I can just tell I see him searching other women he is so sharp and snappy with me and he is out all the time . I think what I’m looking for here is someone to tell me that it’s okay to loose your way abit I just feel so heartbroken

What is even the point of him?

You haven’t let yourself go . He’s just horrible 100 percent . I’m not one of those people who just says LTB for any reason like loads of people on mumsnet but in this case I would say seriously why on earth are you with him ? What benefit is he bringing to your life ? He sounds absolutely horrible

I would just like to say to everyone thankyou for all the comments and advice , the home is in my name , today was my final straw and I’ve made him leave , all your comments made me realise that this is not what I want for me or my child , I’m already doing everything my self what difference does his presence make , I think I was just scared to be lonely

This made me smile so much op. I don’t know you, but I’m very happy for you that you’ve made this brave step. It’ll be hard at first because there’s comfort in familiarity. But keep going, because in a very very short amount of time, you will be very very pleased you did.

You've done the right thing. Times may be hard but you're strong and can do this. Good luck

Well done op
The life of yourself and daughter will be vastly improved.
Wishing the both of all the best for the future💐

Definitely, I think this is what people even in my personal life found hard to understand, he is all I know , he’s been with me every step of the way from my first job giving birth getting my home , it felt hard to let go of that , they say time heals I must just ride the wave , booked in to have my nails done Monday baby steps ❤️

Well done

So pleased to read this.
You have done the right thing.
Make sure you have a video bell and keep your key in the door.
He may well try to come back.

As a woman twice your age, I am certain that you wont regret this. In fact you will use this experience to make sure your child doesnt end up in the same situation.

Well done and enjoy your true freedom!

Good for you op next time he sees you make sure you look glam just to piss him off shallow twat.

Good riddance. Now on to what you deserve in life.

Honesty is the best policy in relationships. It promotes good changes.

This stranger is so proud of you! I hope you come to realise that nothing is more lonely than a shit relationship!

Hopefully when your DS stays with Dad youll get sometime to find you again! And don’t worry if it’s a version that doesn’t want to dress up / wear make-up cos that’s fine too!

Come back anytime you need support, we are all rooting for you!

Onwards and upwards OP! Wishing you all the very best for the future! Hopefully it will be filled with joy 💓 Use this time to remember what it was you loved and liked to do before he diminised your light.

Well you’ve certainly lost a lot of dead weight now!

Nothing is more lonely than being in a shit relationship so I am heartened to read that he this deadweight is now gone from your life. You served your child well doing that. He basically targeted you to abuse you.

Do enrol yourself onto the Freedom Programme going forward. Men like this can and do damage perhaps already weakened boundaries and you do not want to end up with another deadweight bloke.

Good on you!! You’ll probably find life is much easier without him

Oh thats awful. I really feel for you. He sounds very shallow. I would be asking myself if I want to spend my life with someone who doesnt lift me up during tougher times. Times will almost certainly get tougher through life and you need a partner you can depend on to stand by you. Not one that adds to the struggles by pulling you down. Sending a hug xx

Ok I’m ready to get vilified for this, but if my partner lets say got really fat I would not be able to be with him as I could not let him near me, I can’t help it I find it very off putting. So I can sort of in a way see what he means. You want your partner to make the best of themselves as that’s what you saw when you first met. I think my partner is gorgeous ( he probably isn’t to others) and I love being out with him and still fancy him after many years, he’s just an older version of who I met. I think a lot of people get together and then just let themselves go. I wonder if you’d smarten yourself up if you were back on the market so to speak.

This! Personally I have a fear of letting myself go so I still go to pilates and the gym multiple times a week/hair/nails/lash lift/brow tint wax etc. But my partner will take on the childcare, housework or cooking for me to do this. Not sure he would fund them, but he understands it’s what fills my cup and will help me to do those things by giving me time to go…it’s the least he can do really

What a horrible man commenting on your appearance, bet he's no prince charming. Sorry but don't think I could forgive him for this. So hurtful , id have to end it

I agree to an extend. Context matter. It is one thing to say this to your partner because you are concerned about health while supporting them to improve. It is completely different (which is what happens here) when the reason you let yourself go is because your “partner” puts the childcare, household chores, paid work on you, while he plays with his bollocks and doesn’t even make you a toast, and simultaneously belittles you to undermine your self-esteem. Do you see the nuance?

Look OP I bet he isn't a specim of manly attraction, I bet he's got a few things that aging happen.
We all can look at other people and think we aren't quite as superficially attracive as them.
He's an arse..
He can't see what he's got.
Tale as old as time.
Fuck him and stop thinking you are not good enough. You absolutely are.

It's 1933 that called and wants its sexism back. That's when this song, which is basically saying what you're saying, was written. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pfk8kLJMab0

When are we going to stop valuing women by how they look and start valuing them by what they do?