Partner said I’ve let my self go

[Mommy2onexxx]

Today my partner picked me up from work we have been together for 5 ish years , he’s been so cold towards me recently and kept commenting on my looks , I kinda shrugged the comments off like an idiot , anyways today when I got in the car I asked him why he is being so horrible I explained he is making me feel small and unworthy , he said this is because I’ve let my self go and I don’t glam up the way I used to do my hair and makeup everyday ect , I explained I simply do not have the time the way I used to when I was 18 19 , I work , I’m a mom I run a home and I’m working towards my level 4 qualification, he said I should make time , I know he does truly find me ugly now I can just tell I see him searching other women he is so sharp and snappy with me and he is out all the time . I think what I’m looking for here is someone to tell me that it’s okay to loose your way abit I just feel so heartbroken

Yes mate 🙌🏼

I mean, why would you want to be with a man whose a shit dad - good dad's proactively do things to ensure they are actually present to do the parenting stuff, not just rock up to be fun dad for an hour here or there.

Indeed he doesn't

Do you own your own house? Dump him for being an unglamorous deadbeat.

Life is too short to waste on a whingeing boyfriend.

Ughh I would find this pathetic behaviour and inability to care and love for his family a massive bleugh. Time to prioritise you and your daughter. Get rid of him. Enjoy your daughter, your friends and your freedom from negativity.

Get rid.

What does he bring to your relationship? Does he ever make you feel happy, part of a team, sharing the load, respected? Because this is what being together and parents should be.

Up to you what you do of course, but I just hope if you do stay with him that you don't get to 20 years down the line and look back at a rubbish man with regret.

Your partner is a prick. A man who loves you and cares won’t tell you “find the time”. He will say, let”s find balance so you have time for yourself and get back to you.

I am not saying this is abuse or anything but please mind that it could escalate to controlling behaviour. My last abusive relationship started with such remarks although it was untrue and 6 months in, and it escalated. However, his comments are not ok.

I would use opportunity to start a conversation along the lines of, I thought about what you said, and I do feel lost and not like myself because of how things and our lives have changed. I need to carve more time for self-care, so can we agree that you do x at y days/times so I can do z (gym, make up, massage, whatever floats your boat). I think his behaviour will give your answers.

Sounds like he's sniffing around other women.

Even if he's not, I'd still suggest dumping him, what a horrible man.

Your daughter doesn't need to be brought up in a household where men expect women to be impeccably dressed, nails manicured, hair perfect with a full face of makeup.

What a surprise. He's completely taking advantage of you and you deserve so much better. You are young and shouldn't be heartbroken over such a loser of a man.

Please know you are worth so much more.

Please let him go. A good partner builds you up not tears you down. Honestly this kind of rubbish isn’t worth it. Who the hell does he think he is? From what you’ve said you are nailing it in all aspects of life (apart from keeping him in it) and he’s just seeking to drag you down. Not acceptable for you or your child. You deserve better and life will feel so much lighter without this deadweight x

Sorry but hes cheating and making himself feel better by blaming you. Does he
look exactly as he did when you met him?

Time to leave. What a prick.

So what do you need him for? You are doing everything yourself. Tell him the thing your letting go is him so be needs to get out

What a dickhead.

It doesn't sound as if you are getting very much out of this relationship at all.

Maybe if he wasn't such a deadbeat you might have more time to pamper yourself, has he thought about that?

I'd chuck him. You're essentially carrying all the load of a single mum anyway without any of the peace or freedom.

Ew, what a prick. You sound amazing, you’re doing so much with your life. I’d bin him, he’s not worth keeping if all he’s interested in is your looks.

None of us are always glam and guess what, we all get older too, including him.

Op tell him to fuck off and take a good look in the mirror at the prick in front of it
He’s shown you what he’s like believe him op you are worth so much more you don’t need a prick like that you’ll never forget, never trust him, and worst of all you’ll start to believe him and you’ll become a shell of the lovely woman you are

Tell him he was right, you have let yourself go & now you're letting him go! Fairs fair.

neither you nor your daughter need to be living with that kind of shit
💕

This is horrible. Everyone gets inflammation and puts of weight and gets bloated and unhealthy looking when they are living with a man as nasty as him. If you get rid of him you will have an instant glow up and won’t live with a prick, really double win!

Get completely dolled up just how he'd like you to be.. then let him go instead!

Is the house in your name too?

He sounds pathetic. It does sound as if he’s gone off you though and is trying to find reasons to justify it.

Christ on a bike … why do you do all the housework ?!? You are not HIS mummy!!! You need to have more self respect my dear

If you want to make this relationship work tell him ok you do hoovering x times per week , and clean the bathroom every week and I’ll wear makeup

but I think you need to plan to leave the man child - show your child what not to put up with in a relationship

Why do you do everything?Why is everything in your name, is it your house? Does he help pay the bills or are you paying everything? Why isn’t he doing his fair share?

There’s a TikTok/instagram post of three ladies who got makeovers for the divorce meeting and I cried so hard looking at it and reading the men’s comments- if she’d done that while they were married they wouldn’t be getting a divorce and women trying to explain to them, they couldn’t because they were running around after you all. It was so sad, one of the men in particular looked so sad, in my mind (perhaps I’m delusional!!) like he realised, another looked incredulous and angry and I wanted someone to punch him!

Op make yourself feel and look nicer, spa day, gym etc, but out of his money and not for him, and do consider ltb (and I don’t usually say that x). He has no right to say any of those things without apologising that you haven’t had any time because of him