DatingThread 55 - Spring has Sprung!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Two hours 😁

I guess no more than 12-24h
Trying to think how long it took my "slowest responder". Pretty sure it was about 8h

Unless he had plans that would keep him busy I would expect a message by the end of the day.

I would expect a follow up to the date message by the end of the day. Being very generous 24 hours,

Its that old story that if a man is interested he’ll let you know

Agree with this. It’s not wrong of him to message tomorrow but if someone is keen I think they’d want to lock down a second date.

Speaking of which, Mr Tall wants to go out again so I need to compose a thanks but no thanks message. I was hoping my ‘take care’ and quick getaway last night would have given him the message but clearly not!

Mr Ok seemed quite keen I thought but maybe I can't tell.

Mr Tall was the dude with the token?

Yes!

It’s early so Mr Ok still has time. Fingers crossed!

I think you'll hear from him by bedtime!

Pub Man and I have made plans (work allowing on my side) for him to come to my neck of the woods tomorrow. Hoping it wasn't just the millions of beers talking Saturday and we have a nice time.

Hope you have a lovely time 🍻💖

My first date with Mr Soughdough he said he’d text me, it took him three days. He’s a slow processor and a slow texter but he’s been intentional - every time he contacted me he asked me out again, and actually at the end of every date, asked if I wanted to see him again. I don’t like texting and told him that but we are on date 10 now so I wouldn’t relate daily text or a text window to intention at all. My toxic ex messaged just hours after our first date and he was an absolute nightmare. Look at what he says when he does message you, and try not to be harsh on him if it takes awhile. Nothing worth waiting for is ever worth rushing.

Saying that I've not heard from him since this morning 😅 there's a theme going on here!

Why not text him after the date to say thank you, you had a lovely time and it was nice to meet him?

I usually do that once I get home, regardless of what they do.

I read something on social media yesterday about how modern dating is such a nightmare and people feel more disconnected than ever because we are all so afraid and insecure. Far better to be up front and simple, to share your feelings (within reason). It made me think - are we all just too scared? Are we missing out because of games and rules?

ETA - I think we forget than most men like women who are up front, simple and honest too. The sexes really aren’t that different.

(I’m not talking about chasing or appearing desperate btw)

Argh, communication is a nightmare! It’s either constant texting, or being left hanging for days. I think I have arrangements with Scenester tomorrow, but I messaged about something unrelated tonight and he’s not responded so I’m doubting myself. What do I do if he doesn’t message? I don’t think
I’d just turn up 🤷‍♀️

I have not heard from Mr Soughdough since this morning, when I agreed to go out with him on a date that he text planned with me yesterday evening. I am not worried about this at all. I know that tomorrow he will message me to confirm plans before we meet. If I don't ask him a follow up question he leaves the conversation, and I don't mind because in person we can't stop talking. Not hearing from a man since the morning is not a big deal. Do you panic if a friend doesn't speak to you all day? Or a family member? I think we all need to kick back and relax a bit about this... some absolutely horrible men are slinging out "good morning" and "good night" messages to ten women at a time... it's quality not quantity. Stay busy x

I'm excited about pub man for you, I have a good feeling about this one!

While I agree with @rubberduck68 I have come out of a relationship where I was having to make ALL the effort so I'm a bit wary.

I guess im just different here but I dont buy the whole long gaps between messages etc. There is noone as busy as me 😂 busy job where i cant use my phone for a few hours at a time, straight to school run, then usually off to various hobbies/clubs, home, cook tea, wash up, tidy up, homework, reading, baths, bedtimes etc

You get the gist! The longest time i dont reply to ANYONE is a few hours when I physically cant use my phone. And then if im tired/overwhelmed/all talked out I will still send a message/reply and explain this and then reach out when im feeling more social.

Other than that, the only reason I don't reply is because I cant be arsed. Which is brutal but true.
You cannot tell me that anyone regardless of age does not look at their phone for 12 hours/24 hours. It takes 30 seconds to send a message.

This is one of my boundaries. I like to feel like I am a priority....and I reciprocate that....if you cba to talk to me for 12 hours then im out 😂

I agree with this. If I want to see someone again, I say "this was great, we should do it again" when we say good bye and then they know where I stand and can act accordingly.

Ditto!! And I absolutely won't do it again.

(I've heard from him btw, I just think fireman et al have scarred me for life 😅).

Reminds me of Chandler 😅

I agree with you there, I would not want to make all of the effort either. Mr Soughdough has asked me on all of our dates and arranged them, that's effort for me, I don't think some texts take much effort, but it sounds like you were having to make all of the effort and that is exhausting, I too would be looking closely at the next match to make sure that doesn't happen again.

😂

I think there has to be a balance. I don’t think Scenester will be constantly on his phone, but it would be nice to occasionally feel like I’d crossed his mind 🙄

I did say message me. That should be clear.

I resent being made to feel like I’m too much, tonight’s message was very topical/conversational and I sent exactly the same thing to my best friend who funnily enough replied straight away!