DatingThread 55 - Spring has Sprung!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

I have SO MANY dating app icks. I think I have the ick with dating apps in general.

Shirtless photos
Photos showing some poor kids face (bonus points "it's not my kid")
"Don't match if you're not going to chat" (guaranteed this guy has no chat)
"Not on here much/don't get notifications" (turned off notifications so their girlfriend doesn't see)
"Not on here much add me on Insta" (wannabe influencer)
"Not on here much add me on Snap" (will ask for nudes)
"Are there any real women on here?/Think my profile is hidden" (puts 0 effort in but still blames women for not matching)
"6ft4 because apparently that matters" (expects their height to compensate for lack of personality)
"Just ask" (too lazy/boring to even write a two line bio)

My immediate swipe lefts

Too close up mirror selfies in a pub toilet
No drama
Old school gent
Long walk and pub roast
If you don’t look like your photos you’re buying the drinks til you do
Recently separated
School are kids
Photo holding a gun
Topless/bed selfies

And music taste is a big one for me. Anyone liking bland generic pop, heavy rock or country - we won’t gel

Polly1979 & Catza I did the same as you, when I first started OLD I'd answer the ones that complained about women never messaging. I was either ignored or had a whole load of negativity thrown at me 'You women are all'... Etc.

I said to one, something like 'I'm here. I'm trying to engage with you but all you are doing is moaning about how other women have behaved. What am I supposed to say?'. He apologised, said that he realised that he was self-sabotaging & I actually thought we might get somewhere. A few messages later, he stated 'As soon as I start dating somebody then I need to have sex every day. Even if we have to meet for a quick half an hour because she has kids or whatever, it's just what I need. It's one of my must have's, sex every day. Women have a list of must have's, & this is mine'.

At this point, I was done.
I no longer respond to those ones whining about women not answering

These active men who portray this Crocodile Dundee action adventure man are often not like that. You meet them and they might pull on a fleece once a week to cycle with friends, and the action/adventure holiday was five years ago, they've barely left the sofa but want you to think they are these great hero catches. I read somewhere that really they are writing what they think other men will appreciate, not women. I avoid them though. Never swiped right on a man in lycra.

Agree. It turns out the out of focus profile photo of them paragliding was taken in Rhodes in 2014 and was their one and only attempt at being the adrenaline junkies they claim to be

Plus you can’t see whet they look like 60 feet on the air wearing goggles holding on to Stavros for dear life

Pit on a fleece once a week? You are being too generous. My ex was one of those "active lifestyle" blokes and he spent 90% of the time outside of work napping on a sofa, complaining about being tired or saying he doesn't fancy a hike because it is raining. His adventurous side disappeared somewhere after the first month of dating never to be seen again.

Catza I had one like that. Fooled me into believing that he was happy to be outdoors, walking everywhere etc. turns out that as soon as he got a new car (he didn't have one when we got together) all of a sudden it was 'Shall we take the car? I think it might rain later/Lets take the car, it's a bit cold/I fancy taking the car, but we can walk tomorrow' (then there was another excuse the next day)

MrX was the same, mostly on his back watching reels. Sooo boring.

I wouldn't mind taking a car if the car was going somewhere exciting. Alas...

Yes, it's bloody tedious. He once actually had the audacity to say to me that he enjoys spending time cuddling on the sofa with me. Which would be all well and good had he not spent the entire time watching reels (or sending fire emojis to amateur sex workers on IG)

I'd drive myself in the other direction from this man! It is just false advertising, isn't it? I mean, we all show our shiny side on a profile, of course but the blatant lying of these men is something else...

Men who put down other women are a huge red flag. Mr Soughdough has not said one bad thing about an ex, but my toxic ex was all about how it was the women in his past relationships who were all crazy - which they probably were after being with him for any length of time, I know I left feeling like I'd lost my mind!

I didn't meet him OLD. It is false advertising though, isn't it! He did admit that he'd 'fudged the truth a little, whilst he was waiting to get the car', as he much preferred to drive to a destination rather than a walk being part of the enjoyment (which it is for me)

Anyway, back on Bumble today after a break. Nothing exiting going on there!

Every one of these... I'll add men who say they "like to snuggle" or "cuddle" just ick, find a teddy bear. Yes, it's code for sex, but we are grown ups who all want sex (most people anyway) in a relationship, stop pushing the point home, oh and I'll add to that, the ones whose love language is "touch."

I have believed too many men saying they like walking/hiking - I mean it’s a very bland hobby and very well known what happens if you partake - so why say it if you mean you can just about stagger from the sofa to the bed!

Long term FWB sorta thing - hiking on profile, even a picture in his house of him atop a rock and stories of regular hiking in the peaks - so I drove out to the countryside several times but the most we got to walk - and he said we’d been active - was just under a mile!

And I still believed we would walk in Crete to the point I paid out on decent walking trainers to be prepared- he barely made it down the mini strip (we did hire motorbikes and quads to go around, so it wasn’t a case of just sitting doing nothing tbf) He will still maintain he loves hiking and did it regularly- just his back, the heat, the F1, the place failed us every single time - for nigh on a decade!

Oh God yes the snugglers and cuddles make me shudder.

Add the ones who say they’re tackle - we all know this means they’ll grope you morning noon and night

Any mention of love languages and I’m swiping left faster than Usain Bolt

The cuddlers/ snugglers turn my stomach too.

Just saw a profile where he proudly boasted that he can use a range of household appliances including a washing machine and hoover. Real revolutionary.

Oh god a grown mad saying cuddle makes me feel a bit nauseous! I think it should only be used when talking about dogs or babies.

The last match I got on Bumble managed to say "cuddle" three times in as many messages before I unmatched him.

Ooh just found this thread! Can I join? How fun :-)

I'm currently chatting to / seeing someone we will call Mr Computers. He is very good at suggesting we will see each other more once 'this thing happens' or 'this thing is sorted' and I am strongly starting to suspect that won't be the case.

He very good at keeping me hanging on though which is annoying and always pops back up at the worst times.

A man saying cuddles doesnt bother me. I mean i say it

How does one find themselves a milliionaire?? (asking for a friend 😂)

Haha! Mr Millionaire is sadly just my semi regular fun friend for now

Eurgh I CBA with that. I really do believe in that old phrase "if they wanted to, they would".

Retirement village…? 😂