DP has walked out on me due to his MH. Help!

[Canwerecover]

I’m looking for advice and insight, and have name changed in case it is outing.

Together for 11 years, not married and no children, but I have a DC from my previous marriage. Have a mortgage together, house in joint names.

Two and a half weeks ago, DP broke down in tears and told me he is feeling really low. I encouraged him to see the GP and he was put on antidepressants and given links for talking therapy. He also has excellent and speedy access to support via his work.

DP has been taking the medication for two weeks, but he has not taken up the additional support offered. He can’t give me a reason for not accepting the help offered.

Our relationship is generally very good, we get along well, have a lovely home, lots of friends locally and I love doing life with him. I knew something wasn’t right (for about four weeks) and despite checking in regularly, he wouldn’t open up until that night when he broke down in tears.

I have been nothing but supportive, understanding and loving, with no demands, but this week has been hard. Tonight he was very distressed and told me he can’t be with me anymore. He’s left to stay in a hotel. He is adamant there is no one else
and I believe him.

The depression is seemingly a culmination of lots of things, he is negative about everything and is unable to see any positives yet there are many in his life. He cannot find joy in anything and has lost his spark. He has never felt this way before, apparently, but I have discovered that there is a family history. He is mid 50’s.

I don’t know what to feel. He is not himself, he is very unwell mentally and I don’t recognise him at the moment. Has anyone experienced this and is willing to share the outcome? I am preparing for the worst if I am honest.

Just coming on to offload and share my ex’s CF behaviour, which may also serve as a warning to others! My DD recently passed her driving test (so proud!) and due to having a really good weekend job, she decided to upgrade her car. I temporarily added her old car to my insurance whilst she sold it. As a result of this call, and some of the questions I was being asked, I became suspicious that my ex still had me as a named driver on his car insurance policy. I had to consent to a statement that they would share my information with other insurers. I did the right thing and messaged him. Sure enough, he renewed his policy after we separated and kept me on as a named driver as it brought his premium down. I have asked him to take me off… he lost that sizeable discount when he discarded me! CF at its best 😡

He what?? 🤣
Sometimes I truly believe men are a different species.
Good that you caught on to it.
How will you be sure he has taken your name off? He is not trustworthy.
Just for my knowledge/curiosity (my apologies), what questions did they ask that made you suspicious he still had your name on his policy? Was it questions like, 'We see you are also insured with xxx, has that policy ended/when does that policy end?'

I wouldn't rely on him doing this Op, I'd contact his insurers and tell them directly. What a cheek the man has, after all he put you through he's still happy to take advantage of you