He’s got someone else hasn’t he?

[Imustbestupid]

So, my partner of 10 years today suddenly said he had to drive an hour away to meet someone for business. I can’t explain why but I felt a bit off about it. Just his manner somehow. He has, in the past, messaged another woman but I know it went no further. Just flirty comments on his behalf. I saw them all and she shut him down. Anyway, he swore it was over and that was it. This was over a year ago. I tried to get over it but I have to confess I never forgot and never really did get past it. Today, he was gone for five hours. Claimed he has been shopping as well as the business meeting but no shopping to show for it. His phone bleeped and it was a message from a woman on WhatsApp. He literally has no women friends. He has been unusually attentive since getting home. I am going to check his WhatsApp when he is asleep later. Just need a handhold for what I think I will find. Thank you

Hi @Imustbestupid great to hear both you and big orange cat are doing well.
It sounds like you’ve moved on but he’s still the pitiful example of a man that he always was - not strong enough to take responsibility for his own actions. You are so much stronger than him.
Sometime when you’re walking somewhere you might try to imagine thinking about how you’ve evolved and he hasn’t. Try to find some laughter or pity for him, and as you walk stamp your feet to stamp those feelings in. Just an idea.

He’s trying to put the blame on you because he’s a weak, lying bastard.
Assuming he’s God’s gift to women is he? I very much doubt it if he resorted to going on a sleazy website to get a shag! 😂

Oh and big orange cat looks adorable!

He is trying to blame you because he is emotionally immature and doesn’t know how to look at himself and realise men only choose to cheat because they are weak, selfish and insecure. Him cheating was absolutely nothing to do with you or your weight he just can’t face who he truly is - a insecure, entitled, selfish excuse for a man. Don’t feel sad, feel glad he is no longer in your life- you know you deserve better. Don’t forgive him he doesn’t deserve it but forgive yourself for being kind and trusting that allowed you to be taken in by this cretin for 10 years. Btw i bet he is mo oil painting himself

Oh OP, of course he has to blame you.
Its what cheating twats do.
They never take responsibility for their shit, just try and blame others.
Please don't take it on board.
Post away.

Gosh thanks everyone for your lovely messages. I got such a lot of help on here many months ago and I knew coming back would help. Big orange cat and I thank you

Here’s big orange cat

What a looker that cat is.
Bit of a rock star😁

Is big orange cat's name Thumper?

@Imustbestupid that cat is infinitely better looking, more emotionally intelligent and much more fun than your ex

Oh look at his little face! He’s a beauty!

Look after yourself @Imustbestupid

Don’t let anything he says get inside your head, he has done nothing to justify you paying any attention to anything he says or does.

this is your time, be good to yourself. Treating yourself well is a good way to build up your self esteem.

Enjoy your life and the Big Ginger.

No but that’s a great name! He’s a bit of a bruiser. Vet says he needs to lose weight!

Hi @Imustbestupid

I also remember your thread and I'm so happy that you have updated as I've read it through again.

I just want to say I am in a similar position to you. Although, it's my H of 20+ years that I am finding all kinds of things about.

I have mental health problems, which I have realised were caused by H. I was sitting here spiralling and thinking I can't get through this.

After reading your thread it has given me a fire in my belly to fight. I know it's going to be hard but you really have given me strength. Thank you and please don't let that arsehole make you feel bad ❤️

So sorry to hear you’re going through something similar. It is horrible. It makes me doubt my judgement of people but, ultimately, it’s their failings not ours. It’s their crap standards and lack of morals. I thought 10 years was bad enough so I can only start to imagine how you feel after 20. You will come out the other side, as will I. Please don’t doubt that. I did many times and I’m still not there but I have one thing now I didn’t have at the end of my relationship - peace of mind. Not feeling constantly on edge and wondering what was going on. And a bit more faith in myself as time goes on.

Very high quality cat 🐈❤️ I imagine him to be the sort who rubs his big head on your face, whilst purring madly 🥰🥰

I love your cat OP. I never wanted a ginger cat, always had black and tabbies. 🐱What can you do though? She stole my heart, she's 17 now, still looks like a kitten, horribly spoilt, still adored.

Big orange cat thanks everyone for their kind messages about him. He is a sweetheart. He is a rescue cat who was dumped on the street by his previous owners and who is now spoiled rotten. I think animals are better than some people and he certainly is.

Ooooh big orange cat is absolutely beautiful 😍 I too have a big orange cat. We call him sturdy cos we don't body shame in this house and I don't want him getting a complex 😂