He’s got someone else hasn’t he?

[Imustbestupid]

So, my partner of 10 years today suddenly said he had to drive an hour away to meet someone for business. I can’t explain why but I felt a bit off about it. Just his manner somehow. He has, in the past, messaged another woman but I know it went no further. Just flirty comments on his behalf. I saw them all and she shut him down. Anyway, he swore it was over and that was it. This was over a year ago. I tried to get over it but I have to confess I never forgot and never really did get past it. Today, he was gone for five hours. Claimed he has been shopping as well as the business meeting but no shopping to show for it. His phone bleeped and it was a message from a woman on WhatsApp. He literally has no women friends. He has been unusually attentive since getting home. I am going to check his WhatsApp when he is asleep later. Just need a handhold for what I think I will find. Thank you

Yes I have to agree with this. Just been sticking my head in the sand because he has been a huge help with various family issues (elderly parents etc) but I deep down know this is no reason to keep going

I’m so sorry. This is a horrible thing to go through no matter how many times it happens.

Did you find anything OP?

I hope you are ok

Have you been on his phone yet OP? Hope everything is OK.

Thinking of you OP and just hoping there’s nothing more going on.

Are you tied to this man in any way? It sounds like you deserve better. Always second guessing him. Wondering if he’s where he says he is.

Did you find anything

Thinking of you, @Imustbestupid.

I understand why you are very concerned. After 10 years, you know when his body language and actions seem off. There’s an incongruence. His demeanor, the sudden exit and long absence, no evidence of shopping, being unusually attentive on return, and the WhatsApp message from a woman — it does look like he is up to something.

His previous line crossing shows his sense of entitlement to pursue illicit validation. He must have assumed that she would reciprocate. I would have been crushed knowing that he only backed off because of her strong boundaries. Did he ever examine his flaws that enabled his seeking attention elsewhere?

@Imustbestupid, I fear that you’ll never regain your peace of mind as long as you stay with this man.

Ah this is awful for you @Imustbestupid .
When you know you know, he is an utter cocklodger. If that's not bad enough, he thinks you're unaware. That's the worst of it.
Get busy and say nothing.
He'll see who's stupid then.

I really hope you're ok!
How's the relationship usually?

You know what you've already and experienced seen OP, you just need to find the strength to take action.

Wishing you all the best xXx

Hoping there is an innocent explanation OP but sounds like there are ongoing issues you need to address regardless of what you find. Take care xxx

Did you find anything?
Hope you’re ok op.

It’s natural to assume and it’s a rabbit hole of mental torture, confront him to be honest and ask to look at WhatsApp. See how he reacts

Ps loads of good guys out there but they finish last

Not true Tony. Plenty of good guys finish first.

Engagement ring shopping with a female friend helping?

Check WhatsApp. But agree with others, if there's no trust there then there's no point.

I hope you were able to get answers either way OP.

Ok I did it. He met a woman on fabswingers yesterday.

A whole load of messages about what they were going to do to one another. Meeting in a hotel on Thursday. I’ve thrown him out. And he had the cheek to have a go at me for looking at his phone!! Unbelievable. He said it was ‘just a game’. She even has the same name as me.

So sorry OP, but you did the right thing. Treat yourself well today.

Men!

I’m working today! Probably for the best. Might help take my mind off it. I mean, how do you just throw 10 years under the bus?!