No longer blindsided by H

[Gingerloaf]

This is a second thread - first one was ‘blindsided by H’

A couple of weeks has passed since that thread ended and suffice to say the shit show is a gift that keeps on giving.

An attempt was made at face to face discussions about ‘us’ and there were tentative noises from H although his concern for how OW would take his leaving her seemed to occupy his mind rather more than it should.

A period of time to reflect and H has decided he is required to look after his mental health - it’s somewhat bizarre that the perpetrator decides that he is the victim and must be protected at all costs. So I readily agreed to some non contact ( more for myself than him) it took less than 2 weeks for the next contact to be made.
Once again the me, me, me dialogue was started. There was also a completely useless email but hey, we have to show we are ‘reasonable’ even if all other behaviours are that of a small child.

Plenty of things afoot for me - busy calendar ahead.
What has been pleasing is the righteous anger of other woman in my age range who are now seeing this pattern play out in so many long term relationships. This is now taking the form of politely confronting OW and asking WTAF was she thinking??
Reputations are being bruised shall we say - and frankly they have both had a very polite and easy run of it up until now.
There is a lot of evidence that the relationship is strained but that was always predicted and very sad considering this little diversion has cost us a relationship of almost 40 years.

So no reconciliation, not even a whiff of ‘I am sorry’ and certainly no adult / reasonable discussions.

Looking forward to hearing from
@Goldcushions2
@MillyCentTap
@shamedbysiri
@Diarygirlqueen
@Acrossthepond55
@Fannyfiggs

I have noticed an awful lot of tarot card reading reels on FB - apparently he’s coming in with a communication and a desire to reconnect ( according to the spirits) Time will tell! Who says FB is not listening to us??

@gillefc82 I was thinking of that clip too. Brilliant.

If Mushroom Man wants people to spend his life with The Beige Budgie, then he needs to.own it, not wallow in a narrative that would win the Booker Prize and his bodyweight in millet.

Copy and pasting someone else's drivel on FB is not deep and mystical.
It's pathetic

This, this and this again. The trouble is so many of them see mediocrity as. as @AcrossthePond55 says, King of the Universe. They can't understand why people aren't seeing what they think is their true worth. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad and destructive.

@Gingerloaf I'm glad you're doing so well, long may that continue. This thread is filling fast, I'm glad you've had so much mostly support. I know it's been useful to others and those of us who have had similar experiences, it's good to know we were and are not alone.

❤

well yes - from the sound of him, he's all a pretty outside but the inside contains mostly ego. Doesn't really make for a second Dalai Lama.

He thought posting on FB🙄would be a quick way to garner some sympathy, 🫣so cringe.
His single like must be galling.
Christmas is looming and his empty dance card is beginning to sting.

What a twat.
I am a huge believer in the faux sympathy/ PA cringe face when dealing with embarrassing twats.

Expressions like " god help him, he's a pity isn't he?".

Nothing worse than to be pitied.
Far more wounding than saying anything negative.

Hits its target every time.
Also if he attempts to bad mouth the OP, responding with faux concern that you "wish he would just move on and not seem SO stuck, after all this was all HIS decision".

Its not about sincerity, its presenting as calm and measured.

I have seen it used to such great affect, I burst out laughing and we both laughed at the hilarity of her insincerity. She was faux sympathetic when he badly broke his leg while skiing with his new woman and had to be medivac'd of thd side of a mountain 😂

Our big family happy Christmas has hit a snag. Both families due to break bread together. DILs mum has let her childhood sweetheart partner back into her life yet again and wants him to have a seat at the table.

Our family are embarrassed but keeping our heads down. Her family are going mad because he really isn't a good man. Has treated her dreadfully time and again.

He just can't keep it in his pants. His latest woman we suspect has thrown him out.

Why do some women do the pick me dance again and again.

I meant to say if he wants people to accept him choosing to spend his life.....

Well this thread is nearly full and I just wanted to thank you all for your contributions- you will never know how much your timely threads or your humour has saved me from some dark moments. Thank you.

I am in a different place now - I have been so utterly blessed by people IRL who phone regularly and check up on me. Their varied interpretation of the actions of H and their constant assurance that I will be fine and that better things are coming has helped me enormously. I had the best birthday in a very long time courtesy of my friends. I don’t know what I did to deserve such friendship but I am eternally grateful to all of them. Especially the ones who talked me out of revenge or public acts of drama - reminding me that the moral
high ground is a better place to be ( sometimes that took a lot of explaining)

I thank the various ‘angels’ along the way - the woman at the council, the righteous fury of hairdressers and the people in my wider circle who gave such support when they heard the news - it helped me keep my faith in the kindness of decent people

To my DC and their partners who have been on the sidelines of this shitshow - who despite their shock and own trauma have totally supported me with laughter and a level of emotions intelligence their dad can only hope for. They tell me they have a fabulous Christmas planned for me - new happy memories to be made in a secret location away from all the hurt and pain.

Finally to MM and BB - I send forgiveness into the universe - for MM I believed in my vows for better or for worse but he didn’t get to grow during the past 3 decades and is now floundering around driving Miss Daisy and wondering why his attempt to cut and paste a philosophical quote hasn’t resulted in accolades. For BB I know she thinks she won - but he can be a miserable bastard sometimes and she knows he cheats - and assaulted his wife. That’s not a prize I would want …….

In 2025 I intend to have fun, fun, FUN !

Cheerio lovely people x

God bless you @Gingerloaf . Wishing you every happiness for 2025 and for evermore.

Have a wonderful Christmas with your lovely DC and then into s New Year where your plans for a wonderful future can take shape.

Have a Happily Ever After @Gingerloaf

Have a magical Christmas and a peaceful New year @Gingerloaf .

Bless the village that carries you forward.

You have found that you have the friends you deserve - good loyal decent people.
just like you.

Cheerio - for now i hope.

Happy Christmas and a peaceful New year.
You have helped me in ways you will never know.
I will never forget this thread.
Wishing you nothing but happiness moving forward x

I wish you happiness, love and peace Ginger. Do come back at some point and let us know how you are. Be it a month or a year's time.

Take care and au revoir x

Good to read. Happy Christmas x

Yes, have yourself a merry little Christmas- you are one classy woman and you deserve it.

Glad everyone IRL has gathered round so magnificently. You have amazing friends.

Merry. Christmas and a happy , healthy New Year with your New start and the support and love of all your friends and family. A new chapter and new adventures. You deserve all the best life has to offer.

You've helped me in more ways than you will ever know. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a wonderful life moving forward🎉

May every type of luck and good health continue to bless your future Ginger.
I do hope you will consider updating us if it suits you to.

I had the best birthday in a very long time courtesy of my friends.

This is lovely to read! Your friends are gold aren't they? :)

Merry Christmas, and honestly may 2025 be the best year ever for you!

What a great post from you @Gingerloaf

I wish you the happiest Christmas and a new year that brings you peace and strength. We are all here should you need any further support, perhaps you'd let us know how you're getting on when you feel you'd like to!

Go forth warrior woman! 💐❤️

Wishing you a blessed and merry Christmas and a future as bright and positive as you are.
All the very best to you @Gingerloaf, you are a classy lady indeed.

Wishing you a happy Christmas with your family and every blessing in 2025

Wishing you every happiness in your future and have a wonderful Christmas with your DC making new traditions and fabulous memories. You have been amazing throughout and your Ex is a fool who will have the Christmas he deserves, alone with BB. 🎄