No longer blindsided by H

[Gingerloaf]

This is a second thread - first one was ‘blindsided by H’

A couple of weeks has passed since that thread ended and suffice to say the shit show is a gift that keeps on giving.

An attempt was made at face to face discussions about ‘us’ and there were tentative noises from H although his concern for how OW would take his leaving her seemed to occupy his mind rather more than it should.

A period of time to reflect and H has decided he is required to look after his mental health - it’s somewhat bizarre that the perpetrator decides that he is the victim and must be protected at all costs. So I readily agreed to some non contact ( more for myself than him) it took less than 2 weeks for the next contact to be made.
Once again the me, me, me dialogue was started. There was also a completely useless email but hey, we have to show we are ‘reasonable’ even if all other behaviours are that of a small child.

Plenty of things afoot for me - busy calendar ahead.
What has been pleasing is the righteous anger of other woman in my age range who are now seeing this pattern play out in so many long term relationships. This is now taking the form of politely confronting OW and asking WTAF was she thinking??
Reputations are being bruised shall we say - and frankly they have both had a very polite and easy run of it up until now.
There is a lot of evidence that the relationship is strained but that was always predicted and very sad considering this little diversion has cost us a relationship of almost 40 years.

So no reconciliation, not even a whiff of ‘I am sorry’ and certainly no adult / reasonable discussions.

Looking forward to hearing from
@Goldcushions2
@MillyCentTap
@shamedbysiri
@Diarygirlqueen
@Acrossthepond55
@Fannyfiggs

I have noticed an awful lot of tarot card reading reels on FB - apparently he’s coming in with a communication and a desire to reconnect ( according to the spirits) Time will tell! Who says FB is not listening to us??

I can’t remember who said this, but after raising three very arty farty kids, I concur…

I did a stint in a library for a few months and the amount of stealth glitter in the carpet from the craft afternoons is phenominal.

Kneel in a library at your own risk it's going home with you even on the bottom of your shoes

My bff's now X husband kept turning up at times & places when he had no possible way of knowing what she was doing.
She had her phone & computer checked for spyware, & checked as best she could her car for a tracker & found nothing. (I still believe it was the latter)
But it was seriously terrifying he seemed to have inside knowledge.
So beware.

On another note, my B was a cereal cheat, I'm ashamed to be related to him. (Although seems to be settled with the last OW....))
I have a great relationship with my X SIL, she is after all the mother of my niece's along with being a lovely person.
She is notches above her replacement, who I stomach with bland indifference

On another note, my B was a cereal cheat, I'm ashamed to be related to him

He cheated on his Weetabix? Then it's cereous!

(I'm sorry @Mix56, I've seen your posts for years now and really respect you, hope you don't mind)

🤪

Not quite the same, but my late husband was still in touch with his ex because of their adult children (and - later - grandchild). There was also the fact that after her AP died, her next partner was my husband's pal...

Anyway, DH was quite naive. Would chat away about everything.

When we got married, I was told that their kids would come up and stay with the ex before and after the wedding. In order to get away from the wedding, she and the AP would go on holiday 3 days before. I actually felt sorry for her. (After 2yrs with the AP, she'd tried to get DH back.)

When we got back from our honeymoon, we discovered that she'd booked herself and her boyfriend into the 5 star sister hotel of our 4 star honeymoon hotel. The 4 star shared facilities with the 5 star, but we went in one morning for about 5 minutes and didn't fancy it...so never went back. Our hotel was actually up the hill, a mini-bus ride away. ( It was in a separate village, but the brochures don't always make that clear.)

Apparently, she had a miserable time and - of course - we didn't see her once.

Hope you are doing okay @Gingerloaf

I don't post much but in awe of your sense, your strength and the way youre handling all this heartache.

Just checking in on you @Gingerloaf

All good - so on FB he is presenting a picture of woe is me I did this accidentally because I am only human ( didn’t even use his own words just copied some quote from somewhere)
privately he is sending arsey half legal demands by email - but I know I am moving on because I actually laughed at his attempts. He is one sad and stubborn man who wants control - but isn’t going to get it
happily weekending with very kind and social friends.
I am in good hands x

Glad you are OK xx

Woe is me on FB that's a slap in the face for budgie lady. I'd be annoyed.

Shit be getting real for him🙄😂.
Christmas be looming.
Reality bites.
Happy days!

@Gingerloaf

I'm glad you're at the 'laughing stage' with his bullshit emails.

TBH there is nothing more 'amusing' than seeing the reactions of the 'King of the Universe' as he slowly realizes that he ranks below the City Dog Catcher to the people he used to gaslight and control. Oh, the blustering demands, the ridiculous assumptions, the gobsmacked incredulity! Better than watching the monkeys in zoo.

My apologies to the monkeys, of course.

Yes, his penis accidentally inserted itself into someone else's vagina.

@justasking111 - that’s what people IRL are saying - it waxes lyrical in parts but at the end of the day he didn’t do anything by accident. And forgiving himself for being human is a bit much when he hasn’t ever said sorry

@Littys - no idea if he is just wanting control but let’s just say only one person likes the post- but in the meantime he wants all sorts
No idea what the hell he’s up to - time will tell but this thread maybe finished by then

@AcrossthePond55 - he’s staring Xmas day I the face without his DC!

@MyrtleStrumpet - exactly what I said

I had a fabulous whirlwind of a time with DS who was insightful about the FB post - he likened it to the post of a 16 year old desperate for attention, enough said

Christmas will undoubtedly bring more ridiculous fuckery. The first one after H left (so a couple of months), I spent it with his parents. I was barely functioning. On Christmas morning I got this pitiful text about how he wasn't with his family or the children, how he hoped I'd have a lovely Christmas and he was sorry that he'd "upset" me. Upset me? Absolutely pulled the rug from under my feet. I'm afraid I didn't react well so he started sending hate texts to his father. He wanted us to wish him well and tell him it was all ok so he could enjoy his day. He didn't give a toss about our 2 year old who was enjoying his first "aware" Christmas. Got angry at me when I refused to send videos and pics of the entire day so he could feel like "he'd spent it with his son".

The thing was, OW had invited her entire family to meet him. She was a new widow. It came as something of a surprise to them too. He hates socialising and is very bad at it so he punished me instead. Cancelled my phone contract on Christmas Day leaving me to drive 250 miles with two kids and no phone. It was hell. Utter hell.

So the moral of the story is that Christmas makes them feel very sorry for themselves and they are unable to see that it's all self inflicted. So be prepared @Gingerloaf

I've said this many times - the audacity of mediocre men leaves me flabbergasted every time.

Pieces of shit that another woman picks up thinking she's won a prize when it belongs in a bin 🙄

@Gingerloaf

He certainly is! Well, he paid his money and he took his chances, didn't he? Too bad, so sad, HE loses! And he's lost much, much more than he will ever admit to.

It's so 'funny/not funny' how these men seem to think that their wronged and heartbroken wives should wave them off with a smile as they skip off into the sunset. But yet, when that same wife starts to really 'not care' and they can't get an emotional reaction out of her, they can't stand that either!

Yep, it was an accident. I can see how that could happen
Emaciated from his selfless,ascetic life his trousers and underwear sank to his ankles. And he tripped. As luck would have it at that very instant BB's knicker elastic failed. And on her back she went. Could happen to anyone. In fact it's not an uncommon sight in my village. Men accidentally impaling some random woman, animal, water melon.

And forgiving himself for being human

Please don't tell us he's going deep and mystical.

🤣🤣🤣

That's a mental image I didn't need so soon before bed.

@LivelyMintViper reminds me of this absolute corker from a previous season of Married At First Sight Australia 🤣

You just made me snort with laughter 🐽😆

He has to do a re-write which makes him a victim/ he just made a teensy mistake/ I had an accidental mishap that could happen to anybody/ I’m such a poor, tragic human being.
Far better than facing the truth that he was a complete idiot who believed his own press and trashed a life and wife must people would give their right arm for.
There truly is no fool like an old fool. This time of year is about gratitude and counting blessings and family and friends and can only magnify the immense selfish stupidity of what he has done. His ego can’t take that it was all his decision, he could have stopped it or said ‘no’ at any time, he is the author of his own destruction.
I’m glad you’re doing ok @Gingerloaf, none of this is easy.