Partner moved himself in WITHOUT my say so

[Girlgamer]

So my partner moved himself in last night… he literally walked in with his bags packed and said he’s moving in. Made himself at home. I was shocked, because we’d not had the conversation yet about him moving in. He just invited himself in. He used to live at his parents. He’s moved into my own house/mortgaged and said he is happy to split the bills and pay his way. What do I do? Because I’m not sure I feel ready for him to move in, and I’m shocked that he’s just come on his own, saying it is a “surprise” for me…

Run! Very fast and very far away from him.

Chuck him and all his belongings back out the door, end the relationship, block him on everything, and never talk to him again. Change the locks if he has a key or could have quietly made himself one.

Terrifying degree of entitlement.

Since this isn't love but manipulation, there is nothing, but nothing to keep. One cannot throw away a relationship when it's already in the dumpster, thanks to the dud.

The only ego being bruised is going to be the cocklodgers when he finds out he's been shown the door.

One doesn't settle for some dud who shows up with his bags and assumes he has a new place to live. Heck, the dud has never lived on his own. He should do that for a while before he drops in to live with someone else as a "surprise".

Also, I bet I am older than you and have seen a lot more. I know I've seen more because I can see a future abusive relationship when the clues are staring me in the face.

Haven’t RTFT, but you’re dodging a massive bullet by ending the relationship.

I’m wondering, has he ever had a serious relationship before? He sounds clueless about boundaries and mutual respect.

They reminded me of Fanny Craddock

Wow! What a cf!

@Girlgamer -So have you got him out? Please don't even give him any extra time to leave. He needs to go now, tonight. His parents have probably told him to leave, so he has, but whatever excuse he gives, do not let him stay another night

Wow! Stay strong OP. This has red flags all over it!

he is either manipulative or not very bright-I think you can do far far better,

Well done!
His colours show through.
So does your strength.

Bunglecunt. Great swearie word. I’m going to shamelessly steal and use that profanity

PARTNERS value each other and communicate respectfully.

PARTNERS do not issue demands or ultimatums. That’s the signal that the partnership is broken.

@Girlgamer He sounds very manipulative so beware of him trying to sweet talk you into doing what he wants. Don’t let your guard down and allow him to make a fool of you. He’s not Partnership material! 🤨

Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.

Yeah you need to pull yourself together and tell him to get the fuck out. How dare he?

He is telling you very loudly who he is. A manipulative tosspot who doesn't like being told no. Be glad to see the back of him for good because goodness knows what the hell else he has up his sleeve.

He's clearly been using his huge brain...

<thinks...> Bed, board and lodgings, food provided, laundry and general housekeeping all done at home. Gee if I move in with Girlgamer I'll get all that AND sex on tap as well. I know, I'll just turn up, she'll be thrilled.

Audacity is stored in the balls. I’m sure of that.

He’s rather dim if he thinks this is healthy, mature relationships work.
His comment about it being over if you ask him to move out tells you all you need to know about him

HE SAID WHAT?

Now that is really adding a layer of CFery so thick you could ski on it.

Lol
"The Audacity of Hope"
Thanks Obama😂

I reckon his parents are fed up with him and have chucked him out! Hence him being so eager to move in with you and trying to blackmail you by saying he'll break up with you if you don't let him.

He's an arsehole. Kick him out and dump him!

He must of come home by now, please let us know you are safe.

But he wasn’t really your partner is he if he didn’t even live with you? He’s your boyfriend.

Also if he can’t even communicate with you about decisions as important as this, theists a major red flag - I’d get rid tbh

His parents have probably told him to leave,

@Silvers11 I think you might be right. He’s finally discovering, at nearly 30, that adults have to organize their own accommodation. You can’t shuffle over to someone else’s place with no warning and expect them to house you!

Outraged, furious and throwing him out is an entirely appropriate response in this situation.

How dysfunctional are your relationships if you are conflating healthy boundaries with ego?

Literally no one thinks it's OK to turn up on someone's doorstep and announce they're moving in. He hasn't made a mistake, he trying to manipulate the OP.

More likely the OP's classmate. It's only been a week, and I have no children, but already I'm thinking "Will the school holidays never end?"