Page 18 | Partner moved himself in WITHOUT my say so

Girlgamer · 2024-07-29T13:43:33+00:00

So my partner moved himself in last night… he literally walked in with his bags packed and said he’s moving in. Made himself at home. I was shocked, because we’d not had the conversation yet about him moving in. He just invited himself in. He used to live at his parents. He’s moved into my own house/mortgaged and said he is happy to split the bills and pay his way. What do I do? Because I’m not sure I feel ready for him to move in, and I’m shocked that he’s just come on his own, saying it is a “surprise” for me…

Blueuggboots · 29/07/2024 19:04

For context, he is 29 (almost 30) years old. We’ve exchanged a few texts and a call today and he has said he’ll be giving up on the relationship if he has to leave. I said I’m happy for us to continue dating, talk about things, and he can stop over the odd night like he’s currently been doing. But he said he’s had enough of stopping over and he’s ready to move in and if I’m not ready, then it’s done for him. Regardless I will be asking him to leave tonight as I am not ready at all to share my space.

WTAF?????? Omg, what an absolute cocklodging bunglecunt. Throw him out, immediately?!!!!!!

diddl · 29/07/2024 19:05

Regardless I will be asking him to leave tonight as I am not ready at all to share my space.

Well that's really the only answer isn't it?

If he then decides not to continue with the relationship he's quite entitled to do that.

Anyone can leave a relationship if it's not progressing as they wish.

What (imo) people shouldn't do is move forward before they are ready.

Daleksatemyshed · 29/07/2024 19:10

Very glad to see you'll be telling him to go Op. Maybe he's never lived with anyone and thinks this is the way it's done but he's so, so wrong. No one has the right to move in uninvited. If it's this or nothing then let it be nothing

leeverarch · 29/07/2024 19:12

Blueuggboots · 29/07/2024 19:04

For context, he is 29 (almost 30) years old. We’ve exchanged a few texts and a call today and he has said he’ll be giving up on the relationship if he has to leave. I said I’m happy for us to continue dating, talk about things, and he can stop over the odd night like he’s currently been doing. But he said he’s had enough of stopping over and he’s ready to move in and if I’m not ready, then it’s done for him. Regardless I will be asking him to leave tonight as I am not ready at all to share my space.

WTAF?????? Omg, what an absolute cocklodging bunglecunt. Throw him out, immediately?!!!!!!

Bunglecunt is my new favourite word.

betterangels · 29/07/2024 19:12

Girlgamer · 29/07/2024 18:00

For context, he is 29 (almost 30) years old. We’ve exchanged a few texts and a call today and he has said he’ll be giving up on the relationship if he has to leave. I said I’m happy for us to continue dating, talk about things, and he can stop over the odd night like he’s currently been doing. But he said he’s had enough of stopping over and he’s ready to move in and if I’m not ready, then it’s done for him. Regardless I will be asking him to leave tonight as I am not ready at all to share my space.

The nerve of him! Some men are arrogant beyond belief. I stand by my comment earlier that he's a wanker.

Stand strong, OP.

JoBoJoBo · 29/07/2024 19:13

Girlgamer · 29/07/2024 14:58

Thanks all, I was really shocked and quite disappointed how he just showed up out the blue with his stuff. I haven’t asked him to move back yet cos I’m just a bit taken back and a bit worried asking him to leave will end the relationship. But I’m really unsure if I even want him here, I like my own space. He’s currently at work so I have time to think about what I’ll say to him when he’s back.

Pack his bags and throw them out of the door.He is looking for either a vunerable woman to sponge off or a cocklodger.

betterangels · 29/07/2024 19:13

leeverarch · 29/07/2024 19:12

Bunglecunt is my new favourite word.

Show quote history

Mine, too. That will go into rotation!

Starlightstarbright3 · 29/07/2024 19:13

We’ll talk about manipulation. I can guarantee if you did let him stay ( you absolutely wouldn’t ) you wouldn’t see a penny … also would be next wanting name on mortgage ..

it’s easier now than later

JoBoJoBo · 29/07/2024 19:14

sodisappointed24 · 29/07/2024 18:56

Good woman 👏👏👏👏He’s a blackmailing asshole.

Show quote history

Kick him to the kerb he is a narcissist and gaslighting you.

SquirrelSoShiny · 29/07/2024 19:14

Tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more. He must be out of his fucking gourd.

cranberrypi · 29/07/2024 19:14

Girlgamer · 29/07/2024 18:00

For context, he is 29 (almost 30) years old. We’ve exchanged a few texts and a call today and he has said he’ll be giving up on the relationship if he has to leave. I said I’m happy for us to continue dating, talk about things, and he can stop over the odd night like he’s currently been doing. But he said he’s had enough of stopping over and he’s ready to move in and if I’m not ready, then it’s done for him. Regardless I will be asking him to leave tonight as I am not ready at all to share my space.

good for you, well done, make sure you stick to it. xx I am so glad to hear from you, I was afraid you were just going to roll over and take it.

madameparis · 29/07/2024 19:14

If he has decided he is ready to move out his mum and dad’s house and live with you - then he can buy his own bloody house and invite you to move in with him if you would like to. Oh wait no…… that would involve actually having to put in a lot of work, money and adulting. He’d rather just move himself into your house and start bossing you around - do as I say or I’ll end the relationship. What an absolute twat. Absolute no!

madameparis · 29/07/2024 19:15

Wait til he’s at work, deliver his belongings back to his parents house, change the locks if he has a key.

RunningOutOfImaginitiveUsernames · 29/07/2024 19:18

HE said he's had enough? Your feelings don't count?

You need to end the full relationship. I cannot believe the audacity thinking he can just move in without a word anyway, never mind the awfulness of basically blackmailing you into letting him stay when he knows you're not comfortable with it!

Get rid. Thank goodness you found out what he's really like before you actually agreed to move in together!

Mikki77 · 29/07/2024 19:21

Bet his parents had enough of him and told him to move out. So he did.

Ginnnny · 29/07/2024 19:23

What the fuck, OP!
I hope his belongings were waiting for him to collect after work and you sent him packing.
honestly, that is really shocking behaviour!

VividQuoter · 29/07/2024 19:24

But you call him partner.....is this correct? Who is he? A man you saw for few months, a really great boyfriend, a casual sex meet up?

Viviennemary · 29/07/2024 19:25

Say I'm sorry but this has not been discussed at all and you need to leave. If he refuses to leave call the police. Absolutely controlling and not acceptable.

Zone2NorthLondon · 29/07/2024 19:25

Get him and his possessions to fuck
block him
break up with him

persistentyes · 29/07/2024 19:26

looks like @capstix has shuffled off with her tail between her legs

or

banned

SerafinasGoose · 29/07/2024 19:27

Battalion of MRAs closing in at two o'clock ...

No wait: 400+ posts in and just the one so far? They're slacking.

somewhatmiffed · 29/07/2024 19:27

Even if you were ready to move in. To do so without consent is appalling. That would put me off him massively. He obviously thinks his feelings are more important than yours.

Skodacool · 29/07/2024 19:28

this is a HUGE red flag, nobody does this! Nobody who isn’t up to something or trying to manipulate and control you
This, in spades

EmoIsntDead · 29/07/2024 19:29

OP, please, please, PLEASE tell us that you packed his bags and told him to sling his hook!

UpUpUpU · 29/07/2024 19:31

I dont even leave a toothbrush at my boyfriends house without asking first! Can you imagine the audacity to just move in! 🤯