Partner moved himself in WITHOUT my say so

[Girlgamer]

So my partner moved himself in last night… he literally walked in with his bags packed and said he’s moving in. Made himself at home. I was shocked, because we’d not had the conversation yet about him moving in. He just invited himself in. He used to live at his parents. He’s moved into my own house/mortgaged and said he is happy to split the bills and pay his way. What do I do? Because I’m not sure I feel ready for him to move in, and I’m shocked that he’s just come on his own, saying it is a “surprise” for me…

Good woman 👏👏👏👏He’s a blackmailing asshole.

Are you the ops boyfriend?!

Pack hid bags and send him back.

You're welcome to the last word.

Bonkers response.
"I'm probably a fair bit older than you and have seen lots of breakups where friends of mine exercised their egos to their own detriment.'?
All the more reason to kick him out, are you quite mad?

I wouldn't even wait for him to come home to pack. I'd bag his things back up and have them waiting on your doorstep. He's already throwing ultimatums around and will be a pain in the arse tonight when he gets to yours.

"He’s ready to move in and if I’m not ready, then it’s done for him."

Good Grief.
So if you don't provide him with board and lodging - he doesn't want you?
Talk about Clarity.
He has just underlined that he is not interested in you as a person, but in staying in your comfortable house with all the facilities.

He must have been reading "The Art of the Deal" if he thinks that's the way to soften you up and welcome him in.

And what a nasty bullying way to phrase it. How Romantic. "Spend more time with me as I need a place to stay, or else."

A lot of posters have said, have his bag packed (either by the front door or outside it) and his marching orders prepared, "I've thought about your charming ultimatum and my answer is Sling Yer Hook"

@capstix would you consider doing this?

I'm not just throwing in my opinion.

Its my experience and I've been there.
The bills.... he'll be doing you a favour.
You'll argue.... You'll ask him to leave, he won't and then he will be claiming it's HIS house.

He will think he owns your house and he'll expect you to move out.

Send them in a cab to his parents place with a note for him.
And hope he doesnt have a key, in which case change locks asap!

If asking him to move out finishes the relationship then good riddance to him.

Sit him down a and say that him moving in hasn't been agreed and you're not ready to make that step yet, ask him to get his stuff together and move out again, if you're feeling generous ask him to leave by Sunday evening.

As I said above, if it means the end of the relationship then it's a good job he's show. His true colours before you did move in.

Chances are his parents have kicked him out for whatever reason and he's changing his arm

i always think of a US teen high school drama when posters start saying “grow up!”

It is the boyfriend who has been exercising his ego here, and he deserves to have it dented.

Tell him you also have a surprise. That he's moving back out.

Incredibly disrespectful.

Unbelievable.

Till you take your own advice.
As to your advice to the op you should be ashamed.

I also wonder if m&d have booted him out.

Regardless I will be asking him to leave tonight as I am not ready at all to share my space.

Well done for sticking up for yourself.

His poor parents! No doubt, they have already opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate.

Either way, you have to hand him back.

Please make sure he leaves your home tonight. Don’t give him any leeway. Not your problem.

Tell him to fuck right off!!!
You don't just decide you're moving into someone's house??!!
Cheeky twat!

pictoosh · Today 19:00
I also wonder if m&d have booted him out.

They probably argued over his entitlement.

Well, I'm gald this relationship is over. Even if you WERE ready, the entitlement and arrogance of just assuming he can move in without discussing it with you....

I bet he's had a fall out with whoever he lives with currently which is driving this.

Good luck OP. He's 'ready to move in'... nope, he's not even ready for an adult relationship if he thinks this is even close to how they work.

The audacity. This is the biggest loudest red flag ever. No doubt his parents have chucked him out. Get him out of there immediately.