Partner moved himself in WITHOUT my say so

[Girlgamer]

So my partner moved himself in last night… he literally walked in with his bags packed and said he’s moving in. Made himself at home. I was shocked, because we’d not had the conversation yet about him moving in. He just invited himself in. He used to live at his parents. He’s moved into my own house/mortgaged and said he is happy to split the bills and pay his way. What do I do? Because I’m not sure I feel ready for him to move in, and I’m shocked that he’s just come on his own, saying it is a “surprise” for me…

Stay strong and don't let him talk you round. Cheeky bugger.

I am in my 60s so also been around a long time too . Not sure I understand what you mean about ego ? The OP isn’t happy that her boyfriend has moved into her house without being invited and is now saying if she doesn’t let him stay then they are finished . That’s blackmail. Nothing to do with ego .

Don't see this as him being so overwhelmingly in love with you that he can't live without you.

He loves being provided for..

Im just amazed at the sheer brassed neck of him! Thinking of you op. Let him go. Seriously, he's shown you who he is. His surprise went down like a shit sandwich

@Girlgamer nip this in the bud immediately and tell him it’s not happening.

Your future does not bode well with a partner that pulls shit like this.

‘Surprise’, my arse.

Congratulations Op on having strong boundaries. Ditch him by the way, he's a dodgy git.

A lot of them. My attempted cock lodger was white British.

Don't be under any illusion that misogyny and/or cheeky fuckery is imported. We have too many of our own, home-grown, garden variety sexist pricks to make out we are in any way better in that respect.

capstix · Today 18:34
You obviously think the answer is to be outraged and furious and throw him out. I'm probably a fair bit older than you and have seen lots of breakups where friends of mine exercised their egos to their own detriment.

FFS. It's not her ego, it's her house that he has moved himself into without a by your leave.
It's not egotistical to say you cannot move into my house.
You are one ob your own!

HE is the one with the ego, no normal person decides to move in to someone else's house without a discussion.

A man who was socialised in a culture where women have no choice but to obey men might well think he could get away with it.

I’ve only read the OP’s posts so apologies if I’m repeating suggestions.

OP I would tell him to get out this evening and fuck right off.

So he's trying to blackmail you into putting him up.
Obviously call his bluff and tell him 'so be it'.
How dare he??

@capstix with all due respect, maybe you are just too old to have a healthy opinion on this. Because, this is far from a healthy relationship and SHOULD be thrown away.

You are way, way better off without this awful man in your life. How bloody DARE he?! Honestly, I'd be dumping his stuff on the pavement outside at this point!

He won't end the relationship op, if his bags are not packed up outside and the door locked with the key in he will backtrack once in your house.

Do not let him inside your house.

Put his bags outside and only talk through an upstairs window or phone.

What the fuckity shitshow...?

So he's invited himself to LIVE AT YOUR HOUSE and then threatened you in an attempt to make you do something you clearly don't want to do?

YOU should be dumping HIM.

Seriously, this has "controlling abuser" written all over it.

Dollars to rubles he's been kicked out of his parents' house. (If so, it is NOT your problem if he had nowhere else to go).

Bags on the doorstep by the time he gets home.

Let him find some other woman to dump on as a mummy replacement.

Cheeky fucker.

Saw your latest post and he's a man who freely makes threats as well as assumptions.

You'd be a fool to carry on with this man. Why would you? That's what you have to work on, what's happened that you think this is okay and all you deserve.

I’m older too. I have no hesitation in saying it’s his ego that is the issue here. His behaviour shows absolutely no respect for@Girlgamer . She needs to get rid, he doesn’t love her , just wants her assets.

I'm not saying a british man wouldn't WANT to do it, I'm saying he is more likely to realise that it just wont fly and she will hand him his arse on a plate.

He's completely taking the piss, issuing an absurd ultimatum while never giving you a single say in what should be a massive life decision.

Bin him. I'm sure you're fond of him, but he's not a good person, and it'll only get worse. You can do much better very easily, trust!

THIS THIS THIS THIS and a bit more of THIS!!!!

I think I'd have someone else in the house with me when I told him to go - I really don't like his aggressive tone.

That’s shocking! So if you dont let him stay he will end the relationship! Does that sound like the actions of a respectful, caring partner..? Tell him to leave immediately and dont see this user again.

Are you on the wrong thread because if you're not, this is possibly the most insane piece of advice I've ever read in my life

He has no respect for you or for boundaries, what an entitled cock. There's so many red flags here please don't let him continue to try manipulate you.