Page 2 | How long before you sleep together?

ThisIsaNiceDress · 2023-04-09T15:12:24+00:00

What’s the accepted timeline nowadays when you are actually serious about someone? 😂

RidingMyBike · 09/04/2023 16:58

About two months. But he was the first (and only!) boyfriend I had sex with. Now been happily married for over a decade.

PaintedEgg · 09/04/2023 17:01

Thebigblueballoon · 09/04/2023 16:54

First date with partner of 14 years. We were friends beforehand, and just thought fuck it. 😂

you thought fuck it and you did 😁 with great outcomes!

StormiDayz · 09/04/2023 17:02

I slept with my husband the night we met. I never normally did that when looking for a serious relationship because I think there's a risk of it becoming just sex focused. But he was the man for me and that amazing night just cemented it. If you both want it, there's no point fighting it.

Shuta8 · 09/04/2023 17:03

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Hillsmakeyoustrong · 09/04/2023 17:11

When we married, so 9 months. Religious reasons. In our 24th year of marriage, he was worth waiting for.

Pseudonamed · 09/04/2023 17:13

Heynonnybollocks · 09/04/2023 16:44

I don't believe there's "the one", or the "man of my dreams", btw. I think there are plenty of men I'd be compatible with. Circumstances, geography etc all play a role in whether or not someone is a suitable partner at any particular moment.

Just because you do not believe it does not negate it.

Thebigblueballoon · 09/04/2023 17:16

PaintedEgg · 09/04/2023 17:01

you thought fuck it and you did 😁 with great outcomes!

Show quote history

Yep. T’was fab! 😂

Eatentoomanyroses · 09/04/2023 17:16

Most women these days don’t wait. It’s pretty wise to though really if you’re looking for love and commitment. I used the rules before I met dh and it’s 12 dates minimum, 1 per week, no skipped weekends and they’ve paid for all major parts of dates. Off to put my tin hat on now

Thebigblueballoon · 09/04/2023 17:19

Eatentoomanyroses · 09/04/2023 17:16

Most women these days don’t wait. It’s pretty wise to though really if you’re looking for love and commitment. I used the rules before I met dh and it’s 12 dates minimum, 1 per week, no skipped weekends and they’ve paid for all major parts of dates. Off to put my tin hat on now

I mean, not really imo. I think rather than setting ridged rules, it’s best to go what’s right for you with that specific person.
Loads of people who get together on the first night end up marrying, while couples who wait three months might well split up the following week. You’ve just got to go with how you feel.

safetyfreak · 09/04/2023 17:21

My now husband, we waited 4 weeks. I had bad experience with online dating and I felt waiting one month, was a good benchmark to get rid of the men that were not really interested in a relationship with me. It worked for me!

emptythelitterbox · 09/04/2023 17:22

First husband, maybe 2nd or 3rd date but I wasn't sure if I liked him enough for a ltr or not so it didn't really matter if I didn't hear from him again.

2nd husband I made the mistake of building up a fantasy relationship in my head before meeting him as he lives overseas. So it was 3rd or 4th date I think and I took the lead.

I think the difference was that my 1st DH liked me more than I liked him. I mean I liked him ok but wasn't head over heels until later.

2nd H I was head over heels first for no real reason.

It may be 2023 but men still value what is hard to get. They know right away if you're the one and it's obvious, very obvious.l by their actions. Actions, not words.

Very different than the actions of a guy who likes you enough for sex and that's about it or likes you enough to waste your time until someone they are crazy about comes along.

If you're really not into messing with lots of guys for fun then do it when you feel ready and don't feel pressured to go along with things by a certain timeline or number of dates

Be difficult and a bit disagreeable. Stand him up a couple of times. I did that to my 1st DH.

And realize that all men lie to get sex. They just do, so never believe their words and go by their actions.

Decide what you want, what your values are and what your boundaries are before dating anyone. Write them down and stick to them. Don't waver.

StagsLeap · 09/04/2023 17:24

ArcticSkewer · 09/04/2023 16:38

How important is sex to you?

For me, it's really important so I like to check out the chemistry pretty much straight away. No point wasting time getting to know them if they are crap in bed.

That’s exactly my philosophy. Postponing sex risks falling for someone before discovering they’re dreadful in bed, or you have incompatible kinks or something.

Besides, any man who thinks ‘nice girls don’t’ is not anyone I’d be at all interested in.

Thebigblueballoon · 09/04/2023 17:26

emptythelitterbox · 09/04/2023 17:22

First husband, maybe 2nd or 3rd date but I wasn't sure if I liked him enough for a ltr or not so it didn't really matter if I didn't hear from him again.

2nd husband I made the mistake of building up a fantasy relationship in my head before meeting him as he lives overseas. So it was 3rd or 4th date I think and I took the lead.

I think the difference was that my 1st DH liked me more than I liked him. I mean I liked him ok but wasn't head over heels until later.

2nd H I was head over heels first for no real reason.

It may be 2023 but men still value what is hard to get. They know right away if you're the one and it's obvious, very obvious.l by their actions. Actions, not words.

Very different than the actions of a guy who likes you enough for sex and that's about it or likes you enough to waste your time until someone they are crazy about comes along.

If you're really not into messing with lots of guys for fun then do it when you feel ready and don't feel pressured to go along with things by a certain timeline or number of dates

Be difficult and a bit disagreeable. Stand him up a couple of times. I did that to my 1st DH.

And realize that all men lie to get sex. They just do, so never believe their words and go by their actions.

Decide what you want, what your values are and what your boundaries are before dating anyone. Write them down and stick to them. Don't waver.

Stand them up a few times? Ya what?! There is no excuse for wasting somebody’s time.

Mog09 · 09/04/2023 17:26

I did a lot of OLD before meeting my husband and was surprised at the lengths some men went to just for sex… I found some would still go cold after the first time even if you had waited a month. However you might find it protects your mental state if you wait longer!

StagsLeap · 09/04/2023 17:26

emptythelitterbox · 09/04/2023 17:22

First husband, maybe 2nd or 3rd date but I wasn't sure if I liked him enough for a ltr or not so it didn't really matter if I didn't hear from him again.

2nd husband I made the mistake of building up a fantasy relationship in my head before meeting him as he lives overseas. So it was 3rd or 4th date I think and I took the lead.

I think the difference was that my 1st DH liked me more than I liked him. I mean I liked him ok but wasn't head over heels until later.

2nd H I was head over heels first for no real reason.

It may be 2023 but men still value what is hard to get. They know right away if you're the one and it's obvious, very obvious.l by their actions. Actions, not words.

Very different than the actions of a guy who likes you enough for sex and that's about it or likes you enough to waste your time until someone they are crazy about comes along.

If you're really not into messing with lots of guys for fun then do it when you feel ready and don't feel pressured to go along with things by a certain timeline or number of dates

Be difficult and a bit disagreeable. Stand him up a couple of times. I did that to my 1st DH.

And realize that all men lie to get sex. They just do, so never believe their words and go by their actions.

Decide what you want, what your values are and what your boundaries are before dating anyone. Write them down and stick to them. Don't waver.

This posts smells so pungently of internalised misogyny it’s like a ripe Camembert.

Oopsiedaisyy · 09/04/2023 17:27

IDKandIDC · 09/04/2023 16:28

To the women who have sex very soon, do you actually manage to orgasm with a guy you knew 3 hours or a couple of weeks?

We slept together third date, and oh yes, was amazing 😁

It's about skills and equipment, I've been in love with men who never made me cum🤷‍♀️

Pseudonamed · 09/04/2023 17:28

StagsLeap · 09/04/2023 17:24

That’s exactly my philosophy. Postponing sex risks falling for someone before discovering they’re dreadful in bed, or you have incompatible kinks or something.

Besides, any man who thinks ‘nice girls don’t’ is not anyone I’d be at all interested in.

Show quote history

Yes this is the mistake I made with my ex husband. Waited far too long, fell for him and then realised he could not have gotten me wet if he bought a lube factory. Years of my life wasted on shite sex and I did not even know any better.

TokyoSushi · 09/04/2023 17:33

First date. Together and now married with DC 23 years this year.

StagsLeap · 09/04/2023 17:34

Pseudonamed · 09/04/2023 17:28

Yes this is the mistake I made with my ex husband. Waited far too long, fell for him and then realised he could not have gotten me wet if he bought a lube factory. Years of my life wasted on shite sex and I did not even know any better.

Show quote history

I’m sorry, @Pseudonamed — that’s wretched. Hopefully things are better now?

Pseudonamed · 09/04/2023 17:39

@StagsLeap oh much better. I divorced the useless bastard years ago and in a very sexually fulfilling relationship now 😁

newwings · 09/04/2023 17:40

2nd date, have been together 9 years.

Whatthefnow · 09/04/2023 17:51

I text mine, next week we are banging and he hasn't legged it yet 😊

SwordToFlamethrower · 09/04/2023 17:52

Spoke online for about 3 weeks, slept together first date. Spent the weekend together.
Been together 10 years next year, married 3 years in July.

I think if you're open with communication, the chemistry is bang on, then go for it.

Eatentoomanyroses · 09/04/2023 17:53

Thebigblueballoon · 09/04/2023 17:19

I mean, not really imo. I think rather than setting ridged rules, it’s best to go what’s right for you with that specific person.
Loads of people who get together on the first night end up marrying, while couples who wait three months might well split up the following week. You’ve just got to go with how you feel.

Show quote history

@Thebigblueballoon Loads of people? The VAST majority of people who have sex on the first date do not end up married.
I did what was ‘best’ for me which was to get to know my husband and see how serious he was by watching his actions towards me over a period of time.

Thebigblueballoon · 09/04/2023 17:56

Eatentoomanyroses · 09/04/2023 17:53

@Thebigblueballoon Loads of people? The VAST majority of people who have sex on the first date do not end up married.
I did what was ‘best’ for me which was to get to know my husband and see how serious he was by watching his actions towards me over a period of time.

Show quote history

Yes, loads of people. And as I said, people should do what is right for them with that specific person. I’m not saying you didn’t do what is right for you.