First date cf ?

[AnyaMarx]

Was meant to have a first date today with a guy -been texting back and forth and seemed nice but haven't t spoken

Woke up to a text this morning after id suggested a late lunch

He said hopes he isn't pushing his luck but if we hit it off he was thinking he would stay over , turn it into supper and have a few drinks then stay over

He's expecting sex on date 1 isn't he ?

I dont want to take a stranger to my house .

I've made an excuse and turned my phone on silent

I've got the ick .

Nope, didn’t think otherwise, just responding to someone elses’ post.

Makes me laugh when women get anxious about whether a man finds them attractive enough/ will be put off by the number of their previous partners. Do you think a man who is any good in bed a really cares? Of course he won't, it's the men who aren't any good at doing the deed but want their egos boosted by making women anxious about such things. Avoid avoid avoid.

Hit it an quit it, kinda guy. Block him and move on

God, that’s so depressing! I’m the same age as OP, look younger (usually told in 30s) and have been told I’m pretty.

Last man I had 2 dates with told me after our first date when I’d kissed him briefly on the lips that it’d given him an erection… he didn’t say it straight away and was actually quite polite otherwise but…

I had another guy last week, French, thought all girls were after sex and then wanted me to talk on Telegram as he thought WhatsApp wasn’t safe (he’s in IT). Even the current guy I’m texting talks about sexy clothes which I shut down…

It’s like they’ve gone back to their teenage boy years.

Also makes me not want to be pretty!

RESULT!

That trolleys Gold Dust! The universe has rewarded your good sense.

😁

Good for you .

But you MET up , and took it from there .

This bloke was saying HE had decided he was coming to MY house and staying in my bed before I'd even set eyes on him !

I don't know if he had bad breath or body odour.
If his hair was greasy
If he looked like a sack of spuds
If his photos were current

He just assumed that he was getting sex at my house in my bed without so much as speaking first.

Do you not see the difference?

I aren't a prude . My last proper relationship, where we knew each other from work , my "first date " alone with him was at his place and I barely got through the door before leaving a trail of discarded clothing up the stairs

That was based on a mutual attraction. Not a few texts .

WhatsApp is typically used by scammers on dating sites. They try to get women away from dating sites which are monitored, so they can bombard them with crap to get them to do whatever it is they want. The answer is, if a man tries to get you off the OLD site to talk to you on any other app, shut it down and block, they’re up to no good.

Best to not to even give them your number until you have met them I find.

Sometimes there's the urge to give them it once you've agreed on a date (eg: so they can message you if they're going to be late). But tbh I just make sure my Internet is topped up and check they have too.

Have the date in a public place. Give them your number at the end of the date IF you want to see them again.

That way you don't risk giving your details out to scammers or people you really wish you hadn't.

If they ask for your number, you say 'I don't give it out until I've met the person'. If they kick off about that, or ñag you or make out that that's extreme ect...end things there. They don't respect your boundaries so they aren't for you.

Tell him about your nearest hotel

Good for you. I like your style!
We have to be careful, especially given the predatory men out there. Feels creepy and if it’s a huge mistake on his part, it’ll be a good life lesson.

YABU for using ‘ick’

That's a red flag I'd just turn him down and say "Sorry but I'm not the type to jump into bed on a first date, I think this means we are totally incompatible so maybe we are eBay off nit meeting at all and let's call it an experience best forgotten, good look with you venture at finding a woman who wants what you want".

Or get a Google voice number which redirects to your cell phone - if you don't want to faff with two different phones.

Bin him

Stop with the dating sites.

When men do this, I think it is their way of asking if you do sex on the first date and letting you know that's what they want

He probably had another option and was going to go with the one who was going to offer sex

Idiot. I hope he had a crap evening. Twat

As much as i agree he was confirming she was up for sex with a stranger. I don’t agree he had a back up option. Although of course it’s hugely possible..

Oh god OP I've read all your follow ups. This sort of pathetic backpedal always reminds me of that Nelly lyric

"Just kidding.

Unless you're gonna do it."

Because seriously, of course he's hoping you'll say yes. And that if you don't, you'll be silly enough to fall for the "just kidding" defense.

Anyway better luck next time, you sound lovely :)

I had a guy try this on me. Turned out he was couch-surfing and got kicked out and was preying on women to try to get food, sex, and a place to sleep.

Not a chance.

If he can’t be bothered to go to the effort to meet up in a bar / cafe then he’s not worth the effort

it’s like let’s forget about anything nice and jump straight into bed

must work sometimes otherwise he would have given up 😂😂

I'm afraid that isn't how I do things.

And block ..

Old joke:
Man to friend. 'Is it true the first thing you say to every woman you meet is, 'Wanna fuck?'
Friend. 'Yes, that's right'
Man. 'Don't you get your face slapped?'
Friend. 'Sure, but only nine times out of ten, so it's worth it. The law of averages looks after me.'