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Relationships

DP watches tv in bedroom when I’m trying to sleep

221 replies

televisionquery · 21/01/2023 20:56

DP always watches TV until late in the bedroom at night. He turns it on when he comes up to bed around 9pm and turns it off around midnight or 1am sometimes later. He watches it every night. I asked him if he could switch it off a little earlier because I’m trying to sleep and it’s hard to sleep with the volume and light, but he says I shouldn’t be putting a curfew on his tv time as he is not a child. I get his point but we also have a new baby in our bedroom who still wakes throughout the night and I’m the one who attends to baby. There’s a perfectly working tv downstairs but he says he would rather watch tv comfortably in bed at night because that’s what he’s grown up doing throughout his life and he won’t change it. He says I’m trying to be controlling by limiting him watching tv. But I’m not, I just want him to reduce the amount or watch it downstairs but he isn’t having any of it. The only compromise he offers is turning the volume down but it’s still annoying for me. Plus I don’t even like what he watches so I don’t particularly enjoy having it on in the background anyway because it’s not stuff I’d typically choose to watch. Any suggestions on how to compromise on this ongoing issue? Am I being unreasonable and selfish for asking him to watch downstairs or reduce the time he watches it upstairs?

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OriGanOver · 21/01/2023 20:57

He's a cunt OP. How utterly selfish of him

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35965a · 21/01/2023 21:01

OriGanOver · 21/01/2023 20:57

He's a cunt OP. How utterly selfish of him

This ^

I would break the TV. It’s bad enough he’s being such a cunt to you but with your baby being in the room too he’s truly awful.

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Chesneyhawkes1 · 21/01/2023 21:02

Incredibly selfish. If I want to stay up late to watch tv I do it downstairs as does my DH.

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MoleyAndGeorge · 21/01/2023 21:02

Thirding what Ori said. Is he an arsehole about other stuff too?

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OriGanOver · 21/01/2023 21:04

Do not let this man any further into your head where you are doubting yourself. You are thinking that you are the selfish one.. you are not.

I'll repeat it again - he is a cunt

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televisionquery · 21/01/2023 21:04

MoleyAndGeorge · 21/01/2023 21:02

Thirding what Ori said. Is he an arsehole about other stuff too?

He doesn’t compromise in many areas at all. It’s usually his way or no way. But I’ve learnt to put up with most things, it’s just the sleep deprivation that’s starting to get to me

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teaandtoastwithmarmite · 21/01/2023 21:06

He's an absolute bastard OP. I've had it before when one person is reading and kept the light on but not a whole tv. He's a selfish fuck

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Mcmew · 21/01/2023 21:06

That's horrific to be honest

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Jellybean23 · 21/01/2023 21:06

What a selfcentred pig. I wouldn't stay with someone like that, just couldn't do it . You don't have one child, you have two.

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Eastereggsboxedupready · 21/01/2023 21:07

Well one of them needs to go..
Personally I would vote him...
Anyone else voting him?

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Sunbird24 · 21/01/2023 21:07

God no, he’s a selfish twat. If he wants to watch tv ‘in bed’ he can sleep on the sofa. You don’t get to force your viewing wishes onto the person who’s trying to sleep so that they can function while looking after a baby, and already suffering sleep deprivation as a result.

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sillysmiles · 21/01/2023 21:08

televisionquery · 21/01/2023 21:04

He doesn’t compromise in many areas at all. It’s usually his way or no way. But I’ve learnt to put up with most things, it’s just the sleep deprivation that’s starting to get to me

Are you a partnership? Why is there no compromise? Why is it his way? Why are you the only one getting up with the baby?


In terms of sleep - is there another room in the house that you could make into your bedroom and just move in there? If he complains, point out you are not restricting him or his TV, just choosing to make arrangements that maximise your sleep.

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Luredbyapomegranate · 21/01/2023 21:08

OriGanOver · 21/01/2023 20:57

He's a cunt OP. How utterly selfish of him

This

I cannot fathom how you have ever put up with this (baby or not) and how someone would behave like this. Take the TV out of the bedroom and stick it wherever (possibly down your husbands throat).

Don’t spend another night like this.

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LolaSmiles · 21/01/2023 21:09

His whining sounds like a petulant teenager.
You're not putting a curfew on his telly time. He can watch it downstairs if he wants to watch telly. He can watch it on his phone or tablet with headphones. Or he can do without.

He sounds self-centred in other ways too and you're worth more.

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Luredbyapomegranate · 21/01/2023 21:10

televisionquery · 21/01/2023 21:04

He doesn’t compromise in many areas at all. It’s usually his way or no way. But I’ve learnt to put up with most things, it’s just the sleep deprivation that’s starting to get to me

Do you think you are in an abusive relationship OP? Because that is what it sounds like.

It might be useful to share other behaviours of his on this or another thread so you can get a fresh perspective.

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ozymandiusking · 21/01/2023 21:10

How can anyone be so selfish, uncaring. What an absolute B***D! This would be enough for me to fire him off. If at all possible.

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Zanatdy · 21/01/2023 21:11

Very selfish and with a baby in the room too. Do you have any other rooms? I’d either get him his own room (my friend and her husband have their own rooms because of a similar problem) or you go and sleep in another room

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OriGanOver · 21/01/2023 21:12

OP, you have a few choices.

You could buy a nice bed and put it in the living room - you could turn the living room into your new bedroom. Let him watch TV upstairs to his hearts content.

Throw the tv out.

Leave him - but I don't think you're ready for that yet. You will be one day, and you'll regret the years you'll waste with his selfish arse.

Carry on, become more sleep deprived and depressed. Best case scenario he finds someone else and leaves you, worst case you lose yourself fully.

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televisionquery · 21/01/2023 21:12

sillysmiles · 21/01/2023 21:08

Are you a partnership? Why is there no compromise? Why is it his way? Why are you the only one getting up with the baby?


In terms of sleep - is there another room in the house that you could make into your bedroom and just move in there? If he complains, point out you are not restricting him or his TV, just choosing to make arrangements that maximise your sleep.

His the stronger personality in the relationship so I like to remain passive to avoid arguments etc. And only I attend to baby because he is the working parent whilst I’m on maternity leave so he suggested for that reason I should attend to baby care overnight. But in terms of that I suggested he also sleeps earlier instead of having the tv on too late so he gets more sleep and can help with baby at night. But again that’s a no from him because he won’t give up his tv time

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cariadlet · 21/01/2023 21:12

televisionquery · 21/01/2023 21:04

He doesn’t compromise in many areas at all. It’s usually his way or no way. But I’ve learnt to put up with most things, it’s just the sleep deprivation that’s starting to get to me

He's a selfish bastard. I like to read in bed or listen to audio books. But I only do that if I've gone to bed first and I stop when my partner comes up.

But the watching tv when you want to sleep is only a small part of a bigger picture.

It shouldn't be his way or no way and you shouldn't have to put up with anything.

Relationships are about mutual respect, compromise and finding ways to do things that make you both happy.

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icefishing · 21/01/2023 21:13

What?
How has he managed to reach adulthood without realizing that this level of utter selfishness will mean he can't live successfully with others.
Why on earth did you tolerate this for even a night?
If he can't understand that you need the bedroom to sleep in then surely he needs to sleep elsewhere.

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Winniethepig · 21/01/2023 21:14

Just tell him to watch elsewhere very rude and poor sleep hygiene!

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KickHimInTheCrotch · 21/01/2023 21:15

This is awful. Move into the spare room while you reconsider your relationship.

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ConfusedNT · 21/01/2023 21:16

Well if he is staying up until 1am each night then he should be looking after the baby until 1am giving you chance (in another bedroom) to have a solid 3-4 hours sleep before you are looking after the baby if they wake up

ultimately he is an arsehole.

I am a night owl and also often stay up until midnight, but even when I am in a different room to my DH and watching TV on my tablet I still use headphones because sound is so much more disruptive when you are trying to sleep

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RandomMess · 21/01/2023 21:16

If you have another bedroom move into that.

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