“Your 'D' P sounds awful! The baby should be his absolute priority, and with baby's wellbeing comes your wellbeing too. This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship nor a good environment for baby to be in. He doesn't care about your sleep nor your baby's.

I would absolute put my foot down and say no TV in the bedroom. If he wants to watch TV in bed he can buy a sofa bed for the living room. If he's being a manchild over something this simple I'd be looking to leave him asap before your baby's emotional development is harmed.”

This with bells on. I think it’s worth looking at why you settled down with a man who walks all over you. I wonder if this is what you saw modelled when you were growing up. In any case, it’s time to break the cycle. Parents of babies and very small children have to give many of their old, selfish habits because that’s what happens when you become parents. It doesn’t matter if this was okay before. It isn’t any more. Please don’t model a family life where everything revolves round the man and his comfort. It’s so wrong.

BUT do NOT show him this thread. It’s not for him - it’s for you and other people struggling with difficult partners.

He is an absolute tool and needs to get in the bin

Posts suggesting perfectly obvious things like this dismiss the actual problem here. If he wanted to respect OP's wishes, he's had ample opportunities, but he doesn't want to. This isn't about finding a solution to partners having different bedtime habits, it's about his total lack of respect for her needs or wishes. The TV being on is a symptom, not the the problem itself.

Can you contemplate a life without him and his selfish ways, OP? Because I really think you should, for yours and your baby's sake.

Jesus Christ he’s an absolute arse.

Why on earth did you procreate with such a specimen?

Do yourself and your daughter a favour and leave. He will never change, he will never put you first. He will wear you down till you are a shell of yourself, and you’ll look back on your life full of regret.

He’s very inconsiderate and selfish
Surely you know this is unacceptable

I've always fallen asleep listening to TV shows. However as im not a cunt, I do it in a way which doesn't affect dh.

I have wireless earbuds in, and either turn the screen off (certain apps can do this) or flip the phone upside down and slide it under the pillow.

He needs to find a way to make it work or find another place to sleep.

Why don’t you get an earplug, my DH snores, neighbors’ kids make noises I wouldn’t be able to sleep without earplugs. Some can reduce noise by 37 dB and quite effective, only costs a few pounds.

He's an ignorant and selfish arsehole. Did he do this while you were pregnant?

Ask yourself, are these the actions of a man looking after his wife and child?

Because her husband expects her to get up for the baby so she needs to be able to hear?

He wouldn’t allow that. He said previously I’m being controlling to get rid of the tv or force him downstairs to watch it. He would never agree to do that


You are in an abusive relationship. This man has no respect for you. He does not put you or your relationship at the centre. He centre's himself. And then when you ask for anything he makes you feel love you are being unreasonable. You deserve more.

DARVO

OP this is more than your Dp having the tv on..this is you living in a controlling relationship, walking on eggshells . I bet when he comes in from work you make sure the house is tidy etc , or he will ask you. 'What have you done all day?'. I bet he makes you feel that you have 'grateful' that he is out out providing for his family. Because in his mind, it seems that being a parent is not a full time job. If he did, he would respect the fact that you need a good nights sleep when baby does. In all honesty, you sound frightened You dont need to put up with this.

“He wouldn’t allow that”

OP, in the nicest way possible, is your DH also your dad? How come he gets to control your life? You are choosing to be passive but remember that behind every shit of a man is a meek, passive woman.

Are you ready for another 50/60 years of this for you and your child because that’s what lies ahead of you.

You're not controlling. He is inconsiderate and selfish. I strongly suspect this is the tip of the iceberg and I'd seriously be reconsidering the relationship.

"See that’s the thing, I’m always very mindful of his sleep, I attend to baby as soon as I hear him crying so DP isn’t disturbed and I use my phone torch instead of turning on the lights and even then I’m very careful about where I shine the flashlight. I’m considerate as I can be when he’s sleeping and would love the same respect back but he isn’t having it"

Put a stop to being considerate to him. Maybe broken sleep might encourage him to sleep earlier!

I would go bananas with the tv on in the room. I need to sleep in silence and darkness. It's really rude and you have a baby too. Id put the lights in when you wake up with the baby and purposely make noises. X

It's not just the noise - I need dark to sleep.

Also, it's really bad for baby.

However, this is only one small symptom. The man is an abusive arse. The OP needs to leave him

What a nasty, selfish man. Do you want to spend your life with him? In your place I would be considering how to extricate myself and my child from the relationship.

What does he watch? Can't he watch it on iPad and use air pods so only he can hear it?
That's what my husband does and I just use an eye mask so I can sleep in peace and we're both happy.

I can’t believe what I’m reading @televisionquery . You deserve so much better than this. I honestly think you need to split from this horrible poor excuse for a human being. I’m so sorry. 💐

To give context..my daughter is an alone Mum . She is now back with her first ever boyfriend..10 years later . Her partner is absolutely amazing and loves my grandchild and will literally take every night according to how grandchild settles.
if unsettled he will go home ,if grandchild happy he will stay overnight.
This guy actually really cares whereas your child Dad is not really committed.

This is why I don’t agree with tv’s in bedrooms and would never allow it.

dh suggested it when he moved in as it’s normal for him to have a tv in the bedroom. No.

he either stays downstairs or watches on his phone.

We have never had TV in room and our children only ever had them in late teens !

I grew up watching telly until all hours so I find it very comforting at night, and when I was single my greatest pleasure was watching tv in bed. I would love one in the marital bedroom but in 22 years of married life I never have as DH goes to bed quite early and with darkness and quiet is asleep within seconds. I have a lot of trouble sleeping so I stay up and watch tv downstairs and go up later or if I really just want to do my own night owl thing (knitting and drinking tea while watching tv in bed - absolute bliss) I have my own lovely bedroom with a tv and an electric heater, as I like to be warm but DH likes the bedroom to be freezing.

There is a lot of truth in the old joke that the secret to a happy marriage is separate bedrooms but it sounds to me as if there is more to solving the problem for you, OP, because you are married to a selfish, abusive arsehole. Is his overall behaviour something you want your child growing up to think is normal or acceptable?