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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Been dumped by text after 6 years.

197 replies

Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 15:45

Struggling!
OH messaged me when he got to work on Friday to tell me it was over.
I've barely replied apart from when to collect his stuff, which is today. I'm going out.
We were together 6 years. He was dad to my kids, not biologically.

Don't even know how to feel with a text!!!

OP posts:
eviesmum · 01/01/2023 15:47

Sounds like you're well rid of him TBH

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 01/01/2023 15:47

Oof that's harsh. Well done for not responding other than for practicalities.

What do you need from the hive mind of MN right now?

BethJ62 · 01/01/2023 15:51

I can’t remember the username but there was a fabulous series of threads by someone dumped by text . Reading her journey from devastation to a new, better life was inspiring.
Hopefully someone else will remember.
Good luck 💐

SilverBirchWithout · 01/01/2023 15:52

Was it completely out of the blue, or had your relationship run it’s course? We’re you shocked, surprised, relieved or upset?l

jtaeapa · 01/01/2023 15:52

Piece of shit.

treat him the same way - just tell him to get his stuff out and don’t engage.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 01/01/2023 15:53

Oof! That's shit. The kind of cruelty that gets no second chances, removes all doubts, isn't it?

What can we do for you?

I have already told SIL that I can be the world's greatest bitch for her, as needed, so I am having a bit of a selfless day. Use and abuse my good nature, and foul turn of phrase, at will!

Original poster
Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 15:57

I don't know what I need!!! I really don't. I lost my mum a year ago, I buried her xmas eve 2021 so I don't have many people to talk to. I've never been heartbroken before.

I've kept with telling him what he needs to know. He asked if he could call and I told him he'd said everything I needed to hear.

No I wasn't expecting it!! We had a brew, getting ready for work as usual and bam! Got a text...

OP posts:
roseretrox · 01/01/2023 16:02

I wouldn’t even let him in the house. Dump all his shit on the driveway

Emmamoo89 · 01/01/2023 16:04

You're well rid. X

roseretrox · 01/01/2023 16:04

Also don’t go out for the sake of not seeing him. Why should you be made to feel uncomfortable in your own home. You need to stay put and make him feel uncomfortable. Be proactive- do practical things like get the locks changed and redecorate your place without a trace of him to keep your mind occupied

tenbob · 01/01/2023 16:04

What an absolute arsehole.

I hope the house feels bigger and brighter once all his stuff has gone.

Have you told your DCs? I hope they are ok also, such a spineless way to rip apart your lives.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/01/2023 16:05

He was dad to my kids, not biologically.

How old are they?

Anotheryear23 · 01/01/2023 16:06

That’s awful. Did he give a reason why?

Quitelikeit · 01/01/2023 16:08

How cruel

Spacebears · 01/01/2023 16:09

roseretrox · 01/01/2023 16:04

Also don’t go out for the sake of not seeing him. Why should you be made to feel uncomfortable in your own home. You need to stay put and make him feel uncomfortable. Be proactive- do practical things like get the locks changed and redecorate your place without a trace of him to keep your mind occupied

This is great advice. When my ex told me he was leaving me for another woman who was also pregnant with his baby. I got rid of every reminder of him in the house, even down to his lighter and cup he drank out of most. He failed to come pick up some clothes and would keep changing plans so I just binned them. It helped me to move on way quicker than I expected too. Good luck and stay strong Flowers

PinkSyCo · 01/01/2023 16:11

Wow what a cowardly piece that f shit. I’m so sorry OP.

shruggingitoff · 01/01/2023 16:12

Anotheryear23 · 01/01/2023 16:06

That’s awful. Did he give a reason why?

This? Any explanation?

Vaccine001 · 01/01/2023 16:12

Coward! Dump his crap outside. He deserves nothing from you.

Vaccine001 · 01/01/2023 16:13

Then block him

determinedtomakethiswork · 01/01/2023 16:14

I think there has to be another woman for him to do it like this. I am so sorry for you, especially after losing your mum. 💐

Yankeescot · 01/01/2023 16:15

Omg OP, that's just awful!!! You must be in shock. I'm so sorry you're going through this!

I'm with the others on this. Don't leave your house to avoid him. Let him get his own shit, total grey rock him, hold the door open for him to leave and then change the locks! He's an absolute cowardly piece of shite!

And please don't listen to his bollocks when it doesn't work out with the other woman and he's crying to come back home.

RandomMess · 01/01/2023 16:16
Flowers
HuntingoftheSnark · 01/01/2023 16:19

BethJ62 · 01/01/2023 15:51

I can’t remember the username but there was a fabulous series of threads by someone dumped by text . Reading her journey from devastation to a new, better life was inspiring.
Hopefully someone else will remember.
Good luck 💐

This one?

Dumped by text www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3800477-Dumped-by-text

So sorry OP. That's rubbish behavio.

HuntingoftheSnark · 01/01/2023 16:20

Behaviour

rwalker · 01/01/2023 16:21

As harsh as it is if it’s done and run it’s course it’s done

all the face to face and chats won’t change the outcome

Tbh it’s brutal but it’s quick and everyone knows where they stand