Page 6 | Been dumped by text after 6 years.

Fairysteps11 · 2023-01-01T15:45:21+00:00

Struggling! OH messaged me when he got to work on Friday to tell me it was over. I've barely replied apart from when to collect his stuff, which is today. I'm going out. We were together 6 years. He was dad to my kids, not biologically. Don't even know how to feel with a text!!!

Gwdihooooo · 01/01/2023 20:22

*it’s

ShinyMe · 01/01/2023 20:27

Gwdihooooo · 01/01/2023 20:21

I think it’s great taking the silent road!… But a part of me would just want to send one text saying how cruel he has been! maybe he thinks ours acceptable because I’d lack of response?

No! I'd save that for when he comes crawling back within the next week.

Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 20:30

Gwdihooooo · 01/01/2023 20:21

I think it’s great taking the silent road!… But a part of me would just want to send one text saying how cruel he has been! maybe he thinks ours acceptable because I’d lack of response?

Now I've thought about it, this reaction would have really suprised him. Completely unlike me...
If I started it wouldn't be one text, I'd be still writing my essay this time next week 🤣

OP posts:

Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 20:32

YoSofi · 01/01/2023 20:11

No I completely understand, I trawled the internet constantly looking for similar stories when it happened to me, it made me feel less alone.

I promise, although some days will be tough, you will get through it and be happier in the long run.

Your silence is your power, they hate not getting a reaction. You’ve got this, you really have x

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I have got it. I absolutely have!I t's a huge rollercoaster of emotions, and it's hard to keep on top of them!
Yep, I get that. That's why I posted. All I can see on SM is coupley photos...

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Hibye23289 · 01/01/2023 20:40

Oh wow you have responded amazingly and will have shocked him that much by not pleading etc that I very much imagine he will come crawling back because you will have hurt his ego. Can I have some of your strength please 😂

Tamarindtree · 01/01/2023 20:48

Texting you to wish you a happy new year after finishing with you out of the blue is bizarre.

i wonder if he didn’t really want to split with you but had to because of pressure from another woman and was expecting you to plead with him and send lots of emotional texts that he could show the other woman and say that he can’t leave you as you are so devastated.

Then he would worm his way back into her knickers again giving it the big sad eyes of how unhappy he is but he can’t leave because he’s worried you might do something.

I have seen that happen a few times. (not to me).

007sky · 01/01/2023 20:48

How old are your children will they miss him? Is there bio dad on the scene?

Pugsbladder · 01/01/2023 20:54

Fairysteps11 Another thing that increases your feeling of strength & integrity is to vow to yourself to never look at their SM. It's pointless anyway.
I had similar but without even the text after two years. Just blocked.
I've always used two phones, so I messaged & said I was sorry he hadn't felt able to tell me but I wished him all the best & to take care of himself. Blocked again ...coward.
I often wished I'd not sent that text but as time went on I was glad that I was acknowledging it was over, his cowardice and that he would not be bothered by me, distressed as I was.

Good luck, stay strong ...you are awesome and he has lost a fine person.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/01/2023 20:58

I'd be still writing my essay this time next week

We'll happily read them. He gets stony, icy silence.

Nobber.

BadNomad · 01/01/2023 20:58

It's surprisingly easy, or at least much easier, to get over someone when you choose to go total no contact with them. You have all the control, and take away any power they have to make their presence known.

(It also upsets them greatly because how could you do that??? How could you just cut them out as if they are nothing???)

Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 20:58

Hibye23289 · 01/01/2023 20:40

Oh wow you have responded amazingly and will have shocked him that much by not pleading etc that I very much imagine he will come crawling back because you will have hurt his ego. Can I have some of your strength please 😂

I don't feel very strong at the minute! Very wibbly, wobbling from one sad emotion to the next. Currently sat laughing at myself writing that 🤣

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Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 21:00

Tamarindtree · 01/01/2023 20:48

Texting you to wish you a happy new year after finishing with you out of the blue is bizarre.

i wonder if he didn’t really want to split with you but had to because of pressure from another woman and was expecting you to plead with him and send lots of emotional texts that he could show the other woman and say that he can’t leave you as you are so devastated.

Then he would worm his way back into her knickers again giving it the big sad eyes of how unhappy he is but he can’t leave because he’s worried you might do something.

I have seen that happen a few times. (not to me).

That hasn't crossed my mind so it's possible! You never really know someone I suppose!

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Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 21:01

007sky · 01/01/2023 20:48

How old are your children will they miss him? Is there bio dad on the scene?

They have been the best! I can't thank them enough!! Really special kids, I'm biased but they're just getting on with it and checking in on their mum 🥰

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Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 21:02

Pugsbladder · 01/01/2023 20:54

Fairysteps11 Another thing that increases your feeling of strength & integrity is to vow to yourself to never look at their SM. It's pointless anyway.
I had similar but without even the text after two years. Just blocked.
I've always used two phones, so I messaged & said I was sorry he hadn't felt able to tell me but I wished him all the best & to take care of himself. Blocked again ...coward.
I often wished I'd not sent that text but as time went on I was glad that I was acknowledging it was over, his cowardice and that he would not be bothered by me, distressed as I was.

Good luck, stay strong ...you are awesome and he has lost a fine person.

He's already off and I haven't checked!!! Got a bit of a stubborn feeling at the moment (can't guarantee that will last though!)

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Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 21:03

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/01/2023 20:58

I'd be still writing my essay this time next week

We'll happily read them. He gets stony, icy silence.

Nobber.

When I write it, I'll post it on here. Stops me actually sending it then 🤣

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Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 21:04

BadNomad · 01/01/2023 20:58

It's surprisingly easy, or at least much easier, to get over someone when you choose to go total no contact with them. You have all the control, and take away any power they have to make their presence known.

(It also upsets them greatly because how could you do that??? How could you just cut them out as if they are nothing???)

When you say it like that, I will absolutely cut him out like he was nothing. After all, he made me feel like I meant nothing!

OP posts:

user58202018484482910ugog19293843910 · 01/01/2023 21:24

Block and delete, lock your social media down.

You're doing amazing op.

Fraaahnces · 01/01/2023 21:24

Maybe you should start the ex boyfriend review site. You deserve the revenue.

SeatonCarew · 01/01/2023 21:25

You deserve far better OP.

He is a low life

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 01/01/2023 21:26

Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 21:04

When you say it like that, I will absolutely cut him out like he was nothing. After all, he made me feel like I meant nothing!

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Well done op. Youre doing so well. 💪

KateofGhent · 01/01/2023 21:28

@Fairysteps11
OP, like another poster has said, you are CLASSY with your greyrock approach to this. I bet his ego is hurting right now, and he is still baffled.
I would have preferred a big row with home truths exchanged, but I'm not a class act, and why waste the energy on such a coward. Well done and I hope the New Year brings a better situation.

devildeepbluesea · 01/01/2023 21:30

You, OP are an example to us all. We should signpost future posters to this thread to show them how to do it x

MatronicO6 · 01/01/2023 21:36

What a cold, cowardly and pathetic thing to do to someone you have been in a relationship with for 6 years. Your response is amazing! Fair play for being so strong, I bet it is driving him crazy.

Sure you are devastated and have every right to be. But this one action has undermined everything you once had. All trust and sense of security is gone. It does get better but it takes time. When I had my last big break up I was crying in the pub that my life was over and I would never meet anyone then a song by Glen Hansard came on and at the time made me cry even more but it kind of became my break up song and give me hope.

KateofGhent · 01/01/2023 21:36

@YoSofi
Similar situation for me too, over 2 years ago, and my ex tried to come back too, but the answer was a flat "no" as the trust had gone. I missed him, but if I had allowed him back, I feel sure he would have done the same again. As they say here on MN, "lather, rinse and repeat".

Longbarn5 · 01/01/2023 21:39

Agree with some others here. Yes, you feel awful but make sure you treat him the same way he has treated you. Dont give him what you dont need to. Dont engage or respond to any small talk. Once he has picked up his stuff then just refuse to engage further. You can and will find happiness again with someone who isn't a xxxx!