Page 8 | Been dumped by text after 6 years.

Fairysteps11 · 2023-01-01T15:45:21+00:00

Struggling! OH messaged me when he got to work on Friday to tell me it was over. I've barely replied apart from when to collect his stuff, which is today. I'm going out. We were together 6 years. He was dad to my kids, not biologically. Don't even know how to feel with a text!!!

ImBlueDab · 02/01/2023 19:02

Fairysteps11 · 02/01/2023 17:22

As yet, there hasn't been a day he hasn't got in touch. I'm ignoring everything! Even messaged about the coffee machine instructions, then a message 'sorry again to disturb you but I've found them'
All messages are unread!!

He's trying to engage you in conversation because you've not done what he expects you to do, breakdown and beg him. So predictable

Sunsetintheeast · 02/01/2023 19:09

yep a proper walker 😁

purpletowelette · 02/01/2023 19:10

Hahaha coincidentally my ex who did something similar, was a Walker.

Am going to adopt this as my new favourite term!

supercali77 · 02/01/2023 19:28

You're doing well OP! Silence is a powerhouse. There isn't a rant or a witty put-down that compares.

In the meantime, I hope you have pals around and plenty of stuff to occupy yourself

Ineedtosleep79 · 02/01/2023 19:45

purpletowelette · 02/01/2023 19:10

Hahaha coincidentally my ex who did something similar, was a Walker.

Am going to adopt this as my new favourite term!

Get enough together we could make a Rambler's Retreat. 😋

Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 02/01/2023 20:25

I can't thank you all enough for giving me this much power. My neighbour called round earlier and without thinking said 'I know I'm going to be more than fine.' And I really believe it. I think it's the most confident thing I've said about myself in a long time!

OP posts:

Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 02/01/2023 20:27

purpletowelette · 02/01/2023 19:10

Hahaha coincidentally my ex who did something similar, was a Walker.

Am going to adopt this as my new favourite term!

Combines what they do and what they are in one word, all by accident 🤣 I'm sorry you had the misfortune of having one too... better as exes though!

OP posts:

Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 02/01/2023 20:28

supercali77 · 02/01/2023 19:28

You're doing well OP! Silence is a powerhouse. There isn't a rant or a witty put-down that compares.

In the meantime, I hope you have pals around and plenty of stuff to occupy yourself

I have always underestimated the power of silence, until now! My weapon of choice from here on out!

OP posts:

Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 02/01/2023 20:29

Ineedtosleep79 · 02/01/2023 19:45

Get enough together we could make a Rambler's Retreat. 😋

Show quote history

A pp suggested making an app for leaving reviews for walkers... you've thought of an apt name for it 😂

OP posts:

EKGEMS · 03/01/2023 00:06

We all handle things differently and there's no shame at all if you changed your mind and really want to tell him to drop dead.twice or to continue to ice him out as you are now no judgement at all. Good luck and I hood the douche bag gets a leg cramp for the next millennium

EKGEMS · 03/01/2023 00:06

'Hope'

Ofcourseshecan · 03/01/2023 00:56

Coffeepot72 · 01/01/2023 22:09

Tricyrtis2022 · Today 17:15
I think this is the thread mentioned upthread - www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/3800477-Dumped-by-text - he had dumped her and said “no need to reply” so she didn't, ever. He kept trying to make contact but she ignored him. It was brilliant.
I adored this OP, she was magnificent. I wonder how she is now, hopefully doing brilliantly.

I remember this too. But even though she was strong, dignified and amazing, it totally broke her heart.

No, Coffeepot, it’s even better than that! She changed her name to RunninginRain, because that’s what she did to help her get through the grief. When her first thread filled up, she started a second one:
www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/3835502-Dumped-by-text-part-2

Her ex was grovelling by then, but she stayed strong (also getting pretty fit with all the running). Cheered on by a crowd of Mumsnetters, she rebuilt her happiness and at the last update, 18 months on, she wrote:

I still run, and If it’s raining I do sometimes get ‘flashbacks’ of what I went through last year. Only, I don’t cry now because I know I somehow got through it and got stronger. I mentally thank my ex for that and run harder!
I know ( through mutual friends and through letters) that my ex regrets ending things . I would have jumped at the chance at one time to get back with him, but not anymore. For me, there came a point - well more of a gradual realisation- that I deserved more.
I met someone late last year and despite me putting on my best ice queen act, we have become closer and closer and Im starting to realise how special he is to me. I’m not trying to make this sound like a ‘happy ever after’ but it feels somehow just.....right.
No contact worked for me. It didn’t stop the initial pain, but it was my way of coming through this with my dignity and integrity intact.
To anyone going through anything similar, my heart goes out to you. Take a deep breath, believe in yourself and your strength to get through this.

What a wonderful update!

So, stay strong, Fairysteps. We’re all backing you, as we did RunninginRain. Happier days are ahead, without your d*ckhead ex. Best of luck.

JustKittenAround · 03/01/2023 07:53

@Fairysteps11 Its tough. I am wishing you strength and this will be a journey of highs and lows but you know you deserve better. Know this, and vent here if need be,

A stranger in jammies in California knows you are meant for better. I mean… this guy you are free of is so limp linguine…..

WeAreBorg · 03/01/2023 08:52

Ofcourseshecan · 03/01/2023 00:56

No, Coffeepot, it’s even better than that! She changed her name to RunninginRain, because that’s what she did to help her get through the grief. When her first thread filled up, she started a second one:
www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/3835502-Dumped-by-text-part-2

Her ex was grovelling by then, but she stayed strong (also getting pretty fit with all the running). Cheered on by a crowd of Mumsnetters, she rebuilt her happiness and at the last update, 18 months on, she wrote:

I still run, and If it’s raining I do sometimes get ‘flashbacks’ of what I went through last year. Only, I don’t cry now because I know I somehow got through it and got stronger. I mentally thank my ex for that and run harder!
I know ( through mutual friends and through letters) that my ex regrets ending things . I would have jumped at the chance at one time to get back with him, but not anymore. For me, there came a point - well more of a gradual realisation- that I deserved more.
I met someone late last year and despite me putting on my best ice queen act, we have become closer and closer and Im starting to realise how special he is to me. I’m not trying to make this sound like a ‘happy ever after’ but it feels somehow just.....right.
No contact worked for me. It didn’t stop the initial pain, but it was my way of coming through this with my dignity and integrity intact.
To anyone going through anything similar, my heart goes out to you. Take a deep breath, believe in yourself and your strength to get through this.

What a wonderful update!

So, stay strong, Fairysteps. We’re all backing you, as we did RunninginRain. Happier days are ahead, without your d*ckhead ex. Best of luck.

Show quote history

That update is brilliant!

You sort of forget that the people who ended the relationship need closure more than the endees (made up word, there must be an actual word surely). The endee gets closure via the brutal manner in which they were basically discarded - they know he/she was the wrong person for them. But the silence means the ender never gets that, they’re forever tortured by the thought they made the worst mistake of their lives. And after a while the endee doesn’t give a shit anyway. Brilliant.

sorry again for not knowing any real words 🙄

browneyes77 · 03/01/2023 09:51

OP, I am loving your strength!!

As for the wishing he’d realise you were the one that got away. I think most of us hope for that regret from our ex’s!

I’ve had a few ex’s come crawling back and honestly I feel quite smug and kind of enjoy the fact that the tables have turned and I can now be the one who rejects them because I’ve moved on.

Because it’s kind of the ultimate ‘fuck you’ to them isn’t it? Bit like Bullseye’s “Look at what you could’ve won!” 🤣

Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 03/01/2023 09:59

It astounds me how so much strength can be given to one person from people I don't know! Even all the way from California!!
Thank you all so much!!!
I was feeling quite strong yesterday, today not so much but I'm not going to break.
I've done 5 days though, I think every day will get easier (well, I hope they do). I've got a sore throat today but I'm going to focus on me; my mental health, exercise, eating healthy (when I get my appetite back!)
The final text is keeping me going, just that last text...

OP posts:

purpletowelette · 03/01/2023 10:39

@Fairysteps11 you have got this!

I also remember running in the rain. She was a legend! So strong.

What are you doing today OP? Focus on staying calm...

Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 03/01/2023 10:51

purpletowelette · 03/01/2023 10:39

@Fairysteps11 you have got this!

I also remember running in the rain. She was a legend! So strong.

What are you doing today OP? Focus on staying calm...

I have, I just need to stay focused. Easier said than done, eek!
It's back to school for the kids tomorrow and back to work for me on Thursday. I think getting back into routine will be helpful as I'm just rattling around at home when we don't have anything planned, and it can be quite hard to focus on something else. So I'm just preparing for getting us all out of the house for 7.45am on my own 🤣
I loved reading Runningintherains thread. It's scary how many people do the same. However, it's great to see how much stronger they've come out the other side!
I'm going to get back on the exercise bike soon, I've had the worst sore throat and cold...

OP posts:

purpletowelette · 03/01/2023 11:00

Exercise bike sounds like a good plan. And yes to establishing a new routine. Prep as much as you can, the night before, you won't need to stress too much in the morning then.

Will be good to get your (new and improved) routine back, as you say.

Original poster

Fairysteps11 · 03/01/2023 12:34

Slight issue... The post man has just delivered one of my remaining xmas presents from the walker.
I'm not going to keep them, just return them and he will get a refund. I'm quite happy to do this. He will just get a notification from his bank that it has been refunded...

OP posts:

purpletowelette · 03/01/2023 12:42

Fairysteps11 · 03/01/2023 12:34

Slight issue... The post man has just delivered one of my remaining xmas presents from the walker.
I'm not going to keep them, just return them and he will get a refund. I'm quite happy to do this. He will just get a notification from his bank that it has been refunded...

Good approach.

Sunsetintheeast · 03/01/2023 14:13

Fairysteps11 · 03/01/2023 12:34

Slight issue... The post man has just delivered one of my remaining xmas presents from the walker.
I'm not going to keep them, just return them and he will get a refund. I'm quite happy to do this. He will just get a notification from his bank that it has been refunded...

A message without a message… do nothing!! Give it away.