Been dumped by text after 6 years.

[Fairysteps11]

Struggling!
OH messaged me when he got to work on Friday to tell me it was over.
I've barely replied apart from when to collect his stuff, which is today. I'm going out.
We were together 6 years. He was dad to my kids, not biologically.

Don't even know how to feel with a text!!!

You do know how awesome you are, dont you? You are controlling the conversation and being outwardly calm not giving him any satisfaction. He is a coward.

This happened to a friend of mine. They had a great Christmas and he went back to work and then messaged saying he was leaving. Turned out he’d been having an affair and had gone to work to check that the OW was still up for a relationship. Now two years on she’s got a fantastic partner who adores her and she’s blissfully happy. Ex’s relationship failed and he’s now on his own bitterly regretting his choice.

That’s so pathetic and wimpish. After 6yrs together you deserved more than that. I’m sorry

Bloody hell, I’m in awe of how together you are OP. He has been spectacularly cruel and although I appreciate you feel awful currently, he’s done you a favour. Any person who thinks this is an acceptable way to behave is clearly a very selfish, callous person.

can’t believe the added cheekyfuckery of sending a “Happy New Year” text.

I don't see it that way - and I say that as someone whose husband left them for someone else.

Knowing why they might have left (and it's almost invariably for someone else) helps understand their behaviour - and that's all you try to do, endlessly, in those first few weeks/months.

Also - if he is seeing someone else, it will come out sooner or later and it's better to be forewarned it's a possibility.

I'm so sorry OP. My husband Of 10 years, together nearly 20 ended our marriage over WhatsApp earlier this year - biological father to our children. He moved out within days.

Honestly after the shock had worn off I was surprised how quick I dusted myself off and just got on with life. I miss him of course for certain things but actually I'm most surprised about how little I felt so quickly for him

I do however feel cheated out of ending our marriage with a great big bloody Barney so at least I could say a few things and tell him what I think of him and in time you may also feel like this. I was like you - actually very and weirdly calm when it happened - then I had periods of crying then anger then life took over x

@Truthlikeness and as someone that has had the same, perhaps letting the OP catch her breath before making the assumption may help.

Because usually, if there are issues, normal adults will discuss them with their partner and at least attempt to solve them. There is a gradual decline in the relationship, which both partners are aware of.

The only times I have ever known an adult to suddenly, and out of the blue, leave a relationship, is when there is another partner already lined up.

Sad, but true.

OP, you are doing amazingly well! Don't crack and message him. Write everything here or to a friend IRL.

Im so sorry, i know that burning, confusing pain abd hurt, My ex finance did the same to me after 4 years together, just bought a house, booked date for wedding for the next year. He went to work one morning all fine, spoke at lunch no issues, then refused to answer the phone to me at night (he was staying away with work) and dumped me by text in the evening. It was completely out the blue, i was devastated at first but after a few months of raw pain, having to move back home etc, i restarted my life, got a new job (i had to move away for financial reasons, he took the house we had just bought because i couldnt afford to) and moved on. After the initial break up, I spoke to him months down the line and he still couldnt be honest about what happened (i strongly suspect an affair) and i realised i didnt really miss him that much amd i was better on my own. Just over a year later i met the man who is now my DH of 16 years and we have 2 DC, i still thank my lucky stars that my ExF left me, the clarity the breakup brought helped me see it was all about him, he once said to me that my parents must be so proud that i was with him 🤔🤔 he definitely thought he was way more than half of our whole but was nothing special and expected me to tail around the country with his job with not a thought for my career despite us both meeting at Uni so both having options.

Dumping by text is the easy way out, it says way more about him than you. 💐💐 this time next year you will look back and realise you are in a much better place 💐💐

I absolutely love posts such as this!

Must be my sadistic nature! 😂

OP, you are doing brilliantly - keep it up! 👍👍👍

Classy and full of self respect.

Love it

Lucky escape for you

Anyone who could do that to you isn’t worth having 💐

May I recommend the book, Runaway Husbands: The Abandoned Wife's Guide to Recovery and Renewal? (Don't be put off by the title).

What do you need from the hive mind of MN right now?

???? What on earth do you think she needs? Support! For goodness sakes

He messaged this morning and said happy new year

That’s so stupid, it’s insulting. What an arse. I hope the new year brings better people into your life, OP.

@SchnauzerEyebrows some people in OP's situation need a handhold and to be told it'll be ok, some need financial advice, legal advice etc.

There's probably someone else involved. So sorry you're going through this

One day you will breathe a sigh of relief that you are rid of such an appalling excuse of a human, honestly .

This is how I wanted to be - thank you!
I'm on my way to believing that I had a lucky escape! Just need to get over the shock still!!

I'm a hold my hand and tell me everything will be ok kind of girl at the moment 🤣 I think I'm still in shock more than anything. I hope the feelings don't get any worse than this!!

It felt like a 'kick me whilst I'm down why don't you' moment that message did... It really stopped me in my tracks.

OP, you're honestly amazing, I bet he was looking for you to play the begging game and is shocked you've gracefully just said "okay" and haven't called him crying etc. Best revenge.

Yes I expect he sent the happy new year text as he thought you would be crying and begging him to come back and he is testing the waters.

I hope it will be a happy year for you, once the dust settles, but fuck me, what an insensitive text from him after what he did!!

But you don't ask what they need you just give support and help wherever else is necessary! If I read a post asking what I needed from the thread I'd take it as "what have you posted on here for?!"