Been dumped by text after 6 years.

[Fairysteps11]

Struggling!
OH messaged me when he got to work on Friday to tell me it was over.
I've barely replied apart from when to collect his stuff, which is today. I'm going out.
We were together 6 years. He was dad to my kids, not biologically.

Don't even know how to feel with a text!!!

Jeez that is shocking. Sort of thing you'd perhaps expect from online dating but not a six year relationship with kids involved. Totally spineless. Probably better rid in the long term though.

Silence enrages them. When my ex walked out after 18 years, I ignored his attempts to re-engage. After approx. 3 months he phoned to tell me that the one thing EVERYONE hated about me was how dismissive I was. Ha! So I just hung up.

I applaud you for your strength and how dignified you have been.

Breaking up with someone via text is incredibly immature, and just plain cruel considering you've been together for so long.

It's very strange behaviour but not unheard of for someone to completely blindside their partner. There may be underlying issues but that's not your issue anymore.

I've had this before when someone broke things off with me out of the blue via text. I just replied with "okay, that's fine", even though I was rather upset and annoyed. He came crawling back after 5 days. So I wouldn't be surprised if the same thing happens to you. He's definitely going to be expecting you to question him, to want answers, to get angry, to start crying. Your silence will shock him to the core.

If he does come back, please don't fall for it. You deserve better than someone who can end a long-term relationship via one text.

Tricyrtis2022 · Today 17:15
I think this is the thread mentioned upthread - www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/3800477-Dumped-by-text - he had dumped her and said “no need to reply” so she didn't, ever. He kept trying to make contact but she ignored him. It was brilliant.
I adored this OP, she was magnificent. I wonder how she is now, hopefully doing brilliantly.

I remember this too. But even though she was strong, dignified and amazing, it totally broke her heart.

Can already tell by your posts OP that you’re going to be absolutely fine, keep that held high and focus on you and your children like you are.

What a coward he is.. you’ve lost someone who wasn’t even man enough to have an adult conversation and he’s lost someone who loved and respected him, you might not feel it right now but you’re better off.

My exh came home from work in 2017 and told me he didn’t love me anymore and that was it, much like you I didn’t beg or plead and it was done, I was heartbroken but it came down to I had more respect for myself than he had me and when he messaged me around 6 months later saying he was worried he’d made a mistake (whilst living with his GF that he’s still with now).. I ignored him. 6 years later I have a 1 year old asleep in the room next door and a loving, supportive and pretty special husband.. I really thought I was going to be single forever.

So just another post to add to the others of similar stories & saying you’re not alone, you’re going to be fine & you seem like a very classy, strong & likeable person. Wishing you all the best for 2023.. but I don’t think you’ll need it 😘

@Fairysteps11 i'm so sorry you're going through this 😔
How horrible of him to do that!
Sending you positive vibes to help you through this time x

So sorry that your twat of an ex did this, and at this time of year too, but wow, your attitude is amazing. You will get through this.

I agree your reaction has knocked him off balance and he doesn't know how to deal with the unexpected blanking. Evidenced with his "happy new year" message.
He will no doubt be stalking your social media soon, I'd be preemptive and block him, lock down anything else in case he uses someone else's profile to look at yours. Show him nothing, give nothing away. The lack of reaction will be killing him.

How spineless.

There will come a time OP when you really won’t care about any of that. You will arrive at that place call indifference and it’s a wonderful place to be. It will take time but you’ll get there. 💐

I'd be writing the first 1 star 😉

It seems to be that silence is an absolute killer! It's so good that there's somewhere we can share these stories, you never know in time, it could help someone else get over a shit of a man!

Going to get myself a coffee and read this! She sounds fantastic!

That really got to him then!!! Well done!!! It's amazing how strong and resilient we can be when we put our minds to it!

Nothing this morning which is good. Still feeling quite strong.

Thanks for all the support. It's amazing to see what you do when someone needs it!!!
I read the thread that has been recommended to me last night. She handled it fabulously, and that's what I'd like to do!!

Grrr the cheek!!!
I've just been tidying up and yesterday when he collected his stuff (I took myself out with the kids). I wasn't prepared for the inevitability of him seeing me cry and argue. I've remained silent for the most part. I left a very to the point note last night telling him where his stuff was. I've just picked it up to see he scrawled 'thanks, sorry'!!!
It seems a text and a scrawl with an empty pen is enough for 6 years.
What an arsehole!!!

He is evil OP. The grovelling stage might come later but don't live your life counting on it x

I'm starting to see that now, inbetween all my good memories!
I'm not letting that thought enter my head, I don't want to spend my whole life 'waiting', IYKWIM. If i start thinking it now, I'm worried it woulf consume me. I'm still just trying to keep on with the whole 'he absolutely doesn't deserve me in the slightest' thoughts!!

The first thing I bought was a new bed, which became known amongst my besties as ‘the virgin bed’ because I slept in it alone 3 years - eventually like a starfish in the middle. Which reminds me, being able to sleep in the middle of the bed is an acceptance that they no longer have a ‘side’ and even that can take some time.

I guarantee he'll be back because you've not chased him, and when he realises this, and the grass isn't greener, he'll come crawling back - they all do - walkers

Wankers not walkers lol

As yet, there hasn't been a day he hasn't got in touch. I'm ignoring everything! Even messaged about the coffee machine instructions, then a message 'sorry again to disturb you but I've found them'
All messages are unread!!

Proper walker 🤣 love it 😆
I know you weren't supposed to write that but I might keep it!

Keep going, you're doing brilliantly! He never deserved you in the first place, never forget it.

You're amazing, OP