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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Been dumped by text after 6 years.

197 replies

Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 15:45

Struggling!
OH messaged me when he got to work on Friday to tell me it was over.
I've barely replied apart from when to collect his stuff, which is today. I'm going out.
We were together 6 years. He was dad to my kids, not biologically.

Don't even know how to feel with a text!!!

OP posts:
Dwrcegin · 01/01/2023 17:15

By text after 6 years? Fuck him, what a gutless tosser.

Stunningscreamer · 01/01/2023 17:18

Tricyrtis2022 · 01/01/2023 17:15

I think this is the thread mentioned upthread - www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/3800477-Dumped-by-text - he had dumped her and said “no need to reply” so she didn't, ever. He kept trying to make contact but she ignored him. It was brilliant.

I adored this OP, she was magnificent. I wonder how she is now, hopefully doing brilliantly.

Original poster
Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 17:18

Feeling rubbish. Came back to no piles of his things. Having a cry as I just can't believe it.
He basically said there's too much pressure on a message and that he loves me.
I can't believe that people treat other people so nastily.
We were engaged, had a house etc. It's cruel.

I haven't got into any conversation with him. I refuse to let him know I am feeling like this.
Just right now, I feel so sad, so lonely 😞

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 01/01/2023 17:21

Oh bloody hell that's harsh! Bloody coward to not even have a face to face conversation with you. He must have been building to this surely?! What a shit.

Wheresthebeach · 01/01/2023 17:23

It’s terribly raw right now OP. Give yourself time, and space to think and process. It’s contemptible behaviour on his part.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 01/01/2023 17:24

Oh I'm sorry. Such a cruel cowardly way to treat you after 6 years
Take it an hour at a time to get through the day
I'm sorry you lost your Mum, at this time of year. It compounds the pain
In time you'll realise better times are ahead
How old are your DC
Have you a friend who could come and keep you company?
Don't hide what he's done. Shame is on him

Frazzledmummy123 · 01/01/2023 17:25

He asked if he could call and I told him he'd said everything I needed to hear.

Well done for keeping all communication to the basics, you have done brilliantly! However, I know that will he no consolation and you must be feeling beyond devastated 💐.

He is a prize a*hole. Nobody of sound mind just ends it out the blue by text after 6 years, he doesn't sound very stable and you are well rid. Usually with such a sudden change, suspicions come around to there being someone else. If this turns out to be the case make sure he doesn't get allowed back in with you. Let him lie in the bed he's made.

I am sorry you are going through this 💕

BadNomad · 01/01/2023 17:30

He basically said there's too much pressure on a message and that he loves me.

That's code for "I have another woman."

Abigail69 · 01/01/2023 17:30

Harsh and sad but consider yourself lucky. You are still young and trust me, in time you may see this as a lucky escape.

user1471538283 · 01/01/2023 17:32

It is cruel and disrespectful. But then he's a coward. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets back in touch in a few weeks.

It's unforgivable.

Lockedinforwinter · 01/01/2023 17:37

He sounds like an utter dick, and a coward! You however sound amazing OP. I am in awe of you not engaging, or begging, as I suspect he hoped you would!

Tamarindtree · 01/01/2023 17:42

BadNomad · 01/01/2023 17:30

He basically said there's too much pressure on a message and that he loves me.

That's code for "I have another woman."

That’s exactly what I was going to say.

The old classic of not being able to look her in the eye to tell her he wants to split up.

Op, you will have a torrid time of things for a bit whilst you sort out the split and your emotions will go through the wringer.

But when it’s done and dusted and he’s gone for good it will feel so much better as you move forward with your life.

Always keep in your mind that he is a coward and not worthy of your attention, love or respect.

ZoeCM · 01/01/2023 17:44

Six years! What a coward.

Bestcatmum · 01/01/2023 17:45

What cowardly piece of shit not even having the guts to talk to you. You ate well rid. The new year will be much better for you without him.

ColdHandsHotHead · 01/01/2023 17:53

What's the betting he's met someone else? Sorry OP, that will be hard for you to think of.

Original poster
Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 17:54

I didn't beg, or ask anything. I just said ok and gave him a day and time to collect his stuff.
He messaged this morning and said happy new year which i ignored.
I'm pleased with myself as I'm normally one to kick up a fuss. I didn't want to get into an argument for him to feel he's made the right decision.
I'm just being silent from now on. I have to be

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 01/01/2023 17:55

He's a piece of shit.
I agree with pp that there's most likely another woman hiding somewhere.

Hard as it is, the way you are handling it is best. He doesn't deserve to see you care.

Ihatethenewlook · 01/01/2023 17:58

Did he actually mean it?? This is bizarre?

GreekDogRescue · 01/01/2023 18:00

you are handling it so well.

ICanHideButICantRun · 01/01/2023 18:01

You are incredibly strong, not giving him a dramatic reaction. I'm sure you'll find out soon what's really going on and you'll be glad it's over, but right now you must be hurting so much.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 01/01/2023 18:03

IncompleteSenten · 01/01/2023 17:55

He's a piece of shit.
I agree with pp that there's most likely another woman hiding somewhere.

Hard as it is, the way you are handling it is best. He doesn't deserve to see you care.

The callous way he sat with you as normal that morning. What a scum bag.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 01/01/2023 18:04

Does he have someone else lined up?

baileys6904 · 01/01/2023 18:07

Op you are doing fantastically and you should thank his sorry ass for making way for someone better in the future.

Got to say, why the fuck do posters on here start straightaway with the 'bet he's shagging someone else'??? Can't they understand that's gotta be so hurtful to the poster and absolutely not what she needs to hear right now. I see it time and time again, and it's just putting the boot in

Sc34 · 01/01/2023 18:11

What a cruel person!

im sorry this is happening to you.

Give yourself time to adjust. Feel all the feels, but don't allow him any more space in your mind after that.

Sending you love x

Unsure33 · 01/01/2023 18:11

I agree he has his eye on someone else . Good for you keeping your dignity.