Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Been dumped by text after 6 years.

197 replies

Fairysteps11 · 01/01/2023 15:45

Struggling!
OH messaged me when he got to work on Friday to tell me it was over.
I've barely replied apart from when to collect his stuff, which is today. I'm going out.
We were together 6 years. He was dad to my kids, not biologically.

Don't even know how to feel with a text!!!

OP posts:
hattie43 · 01/01/2023 16:24

That is so cruel

BethJ62 · 01/01/2023 16:26

HuntingoftheSnark · 01/01/2023 16:19

This one?

Dumped by text www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3800477-Dumped-by-text

So sorry OP. That's rubbish behavio.

Show quote history

Yes that’s it . I think the OP changed her name to Running in the Rain (?)for later threads .

Whynowwhynow · 01/01/2023 16:26

You deserve an explanation. Atm you’re probably so shocked you’re numb but in time you will have questions for example Why? Why now? Anyone else? How long had he thought about doing it or planned it?

Six years is a long time. I know people who have met, married, had two children, bought a house and divorced in that time. It isn’t a casual amount of time.

girlmom21 · 01/01/2023 16:28

I'm sorry OP. What an absolute coward. How old are your children? Did they call him dad?

Blowthemandown · 01/01/2023 16:28

@Fairysteps11 I’m so sorry. You must be completely blindsided with it coming out of the blue. I don’t know your situation but he must have been planning it. I mean you can’t carry on if one of you doesn’t want to but I would want to know what brought this on. Either he has been unhappy for a while and didn’t want to end it around your Mum’s death for example or else something else is going on.

ImBlueDab · 01/01/2023 16:37

What a complete twat! There's another thread in here, a couple of years ago, exactly the same thing happened. The op was inspirational in dealing with it. I'll see if I can find it

ImBlueDab · 01/01/2023 16:39

The op was RunninginRain

Blossomtoes · 01/01/2023 16:48

Jesus, that’s brutal. What kind of arsehole does that?

namechangeforthisoneeee · 01/01/2023 16:51

What was his reason? Spineless dickwart

Rafting2022 · 01/01/2023 16:51

Cherchez la femme.

TheShellBeach · 01/01/2023 16:52

Oh OP - that's horrible.

If he's as nasty as this, to finish with you without any warning, and over a text message, I would say that you're well rid of him.

What a coward. I echo other posters who recommend that you do whatever you can to obliterate any trace of him from your house. Definitely change the locks and don't make it easy for him to come and get his stuff.

I expect he has another woman.

lifeisyellow · 01/01/2023 16:52

@HuntingoftheSnark I remember that thread! Got me through some tough times and the OP came out stronger than ever.

Hope you're ok OP - it'll be a huge shock to you but you can enter 2023 with less baggage x

VladmirsPoutine · 01/01/2023 16:53

That's horrendous. Right now you must be in shock. Be patient with yourself, grief works in bizarre ways - you might feel all manner of things over the coming days/weeks/months but one thing I will say from experience is that something like this can break your trust in someone - no matter what don't engage in getting back together and breaking up. Once someone has shown you what they're capable of believe them! Breaking up with you out of the blue via text is extremely cruel and you'd do well to remember this in the journey you're about to begin.

MyEasterEggs · 01/01/2023 16:53

I don’t know that brutal and cruel cover it. He’s certainly shown his true colours. What a fucking coward.

Keep holding your head high. It sounds like you’re handling it amazingly as far as he will see but I know that inside you’ll be spiralling. For that I’m sorry.

You’re a strong woman 💪🏻

supercali77 · 01/01/2023 16:55

I would suspect someone else as well (the speed and the cowardice of it). Whether it is or it isn't I would defo read the other thread posted, what he's done is dreadful, the best response is not to dignify it with asking for answers. Let him hang himself with his own shitty behaviour

Wheresthebeach · 01/01/2023 16:56

That’s beyond shit. Coward of the highest order. You’ll never get a proper explanation as there is no excuse for that sort of behaviour. Stay here talking…there is going to be a lot to process

Catshaveiteasy · 01/01/2023 16:58

So sorry, that is absolutely awful. At the very least, he owed you a conversation.

Stay strong. You will get through this.

Wheelemin77 · 01/01/2023 16:58

That is such a weak way for someone after that length of time to declare its over. They obviously have an issue with the emotion involved with a break-up and have tried to avoid it, not that's any help to you. Please just stay strong and see this as a missed bullet not a missed opportunity.

pigwood · 01/01/2023 17:01

God how cowardly !! Sorry op that's a shit way to be treated

Itisbetter · 01/01/2023 17:03

I’d leave the stuff bagged and go out with the children. I wouldn’t be wanting to share my grief with him in any way.

RememberNancyDrew · 01/01/2023 17:04

A pox on the fucker! He probably broke up with you in his head awhile ago and just now got the balls to tell you.

Turkeytwizzlerz · 01/01/2023 17:09

I’m sorry. How very cruel. How are you feeling now? Are you going to talk to him more/get more understanding from it or just completely walk away?

WeAreBorg · 01/01/2023 17:14

I’m so sorry this is horrible for you! I have you say you have been utterly magnificent in the way you reacted by pretty much cutting him off and not asking for an explanation.
Men are actually unfathomable

LlynTegid · 01/01/2023 17:14

That is awful.

There should be a register of such men (and any women if they do such a thing) so that any other woman (or man) knows the kind of coward or worse they are dealing with.

Tricyrtis2022 · 01/01/2023 17:15

I think this is the thread mentioned upthread - www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/3800477-Dumped-by-text - he had dumped her and said “no need to reply” so she didn't, ever. He kept trying to make contact but she ignored him. It was brilliant.