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Original poster

Found condoms in DH’s suitcase

205 replies

Rainyautumnday · 15/11/2022 17:44

Regular, name changed here. DH travels for work a fair bit - maybe every 6 weeks. He’s about to head to a conference. He’d left his packed but open suitcase on the bed and I just moved it and had a look inside and found 2 condoms in his wash bag. It’s a new case and bag and we haven’t been on holiday together since he had it.

Do I confront him now or wait until he’s back? I know he’s unhappy at lack of physical relationship - I have been depressed and had low libido, but things are ok otherwise

OP posts:
Flobbertybillop · 15/11/2022 21:32

For those doubting posh wanks, I have just checked with a bunch of swingers, and yes, it is a thing

Rockingcloggs · 15/11/2022 21:34

Thisisworsethananticpated · 15/11/2022 21:17

Rockingcloggs

I’ve worked at my company for many years and I’ve seen a few cheaters

one boss who’s prolific (Jesus !)
one who had condoms in his bag (married )
one who got a domantrix
one Who likes to route his flight home via Bangkok
Another married one

and of course there are men who have NOT and probably never will

I do beleive that men cheat when an opportunity arises and I think many are very good at justifying it to themselves , as they seem to see sex as a basic human right

I worked at a call centre once and to be honest men and women there were desperate to cop off with each other whether in a relationship or not and I was propositioned a lot there but I work for a building company now and have done for 10 years and I swear on my left tit that none of them have so much have put a toenail out of line!

RandomMusings7 · 15/11/2022 21:35

tunthebloodyalarmoff · 15/11/2022 20:53

What did you expect ? Really. It's a sad fact of life if men don't get sex I. Their relationship they will get it elsewhere It's horrible but why don't women realise this

Kindly fuck of with this victim blaming mysoginistic shit!

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 15/11/2022 21:37

'Maybe he got them for you'.
'If your libido's low he's doing you a favour, just turn a blind eye'.
'He's using them for a "posh wank"' (WF ever-loving F)

And bringing up the rear (pun unintended), we have this absolute belter:

'They're sold in men's washbags'.

Righty-ho. Already taken out of the box, no less, divided up into separately packaged items.

Who. The. Fuck. ARE you people? Hazarding a wild, stab-in-the-dark guess most are not female.

Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck ...

Allelbowsandtoes · 15/11/2022 21:37

Flobbertybillop · 15/11/2022 21:32

For those doubting posh wanks, I have just checked with a bunch of swingers, and yes, it is a thing

I just asked DP and he said it's a thing. He said it like it should be obvious and seemed surprised I'd even question it 😄

LoisLane66 · 15/11/2022 21:39

NRTT. My solution would be to remove and properly hide the condoms. He can hardly ask you about them. 🤭

Flutterbybudget · 15/11/2022 21:40

Mexicola · 15/11/2022 18:25

I know I’ll get a shit load of flack for saying this as we’re supposed to be monogamous for life but if you have a low libido and he’s getting it elsewhere and being careful with condoms then I’d leave him to it! Not the same as an emotional affair.

I’m kind of with you on this, but I’d still want it out in the open. Some people can divorce sex from feelings and others can’t.

EarthSight · 15/11/2022 21:41

DeliberatelyObtuse · 15/11/2022 18:21

Yep, put them in an envelope at the bottom of the case with a note saying "I found these"

@DeliberatelyObtuse Good one.

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 15/11/2022 21:42

littleburn · 15/11/2022 18:45

Jesus Christ people! A 'posh wank' is not a thing. It's some bullshit excuse that a man came up with for having condoms when he shouldn't have. Seriously, men do not wank into condoms! Please don't even put this ridiculous excuse into his head OP.

It’s like a woman deciding to put on a rubber glove before a wank, just why would you?! I wish people would stop making this pathetic excuse for cheating twunts.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 15/11/2022 21:46

If they are old, I'd be inclined to believe him that they were with a bunch of old stuff. If he was regularly cheating surely he would have bought some new in the last few years

Wheredoallthepensgo · 15/11/2022 21:47

RedFlagAtNight · 15/11/2022 18:33

Lots of men's wash bags are sold with a couple of condoms included.

Never seen this, ever (U.K. anyway). And I've worked in the beauty industry.

Wheredoallthepensgo · 15/11/2022 21:48

littleburn · 15/11/2022 18:45

Jesus Christ people! A 'posh wank' is not a thing. It's some bullshit excuse that a man came up with for having condoms when he shouldn't have. Seriously, men do not wank into condoms! Please don't even put this ridiculous excuse into his head OP.

Yup.

rwalker · 15/11/2022 21:59

Having read your update unlike the majority of posters
its totally plausible given the dates in them there years old you used them and all the other old stuff in there

EarringsandLipstick · 15/11/2022 22:02

I’m a size 14 with crap menopausal hair, the tell-tales of a very tough few years on my face and ghe ability to end their careers and I quite regularly get propositioned by the males within my company from the age of 60 down to 22.

I too find this unbelievable.

I'm pretty decent looking, get on well with men, have worked in a variety of sectors & environments.

I've encountered some sleazy guys, but I've never been propositioned in any way or had to deal with directly inappropriate approaches.

TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet · 15/11/2022 22:04

Rockingcloggs · 15/11/2022 21:05

I am a lone female worker in a company of 57 men (more if you count the ones that have been and gone) I'm not at all unattractive and have an alright figure and I really get on with the vast majority of them. Young men, old men, ones I really 'click' with, ones not so much. Married ones, single ones, divorced etc. I have been out on regular nights out with them and I've even worked away with a few. Not once. ONCE. Have any of them said or done anything remotely inappropriate.

Show quote history

Both extremes here - all men or no men!

My experience in my 20s, when I was very attractive, was in the middle somewhere. Definitely not all, but lots and lots of married male co-workers tried it on when we were both drunk at work dos.

Back in the office, a lot of the older married men were clearly very fond of me (even the ones who kept their hands to themselves) and my career benefited hugely as a result.

GG1986 · 15/11/2022 22:05

Found a box of condoms in my ex boyfriends suticase once, i didn't tell him I found them, then a week or two later I checked again and 2 were gone. I confronted him and he said they were for a posh wank, which was bullshit(they were extra safe condoms ffs) i dumped him and moved out. Sorry you are going through this. Personally I wouldn't confront him yet, but have a snoop about to find more evidence, then confront him once he's back and you've made a plan and are more calm. He will obviously deny it, my ex did and said i was a psycho to try and deflect. Good luck.

knittingaddict · 15/11/2022 22:06

RedFlagAtNight · 15/11/2022 18:33

Lots of men's wash bags are sold with a couple of condoms included.

Don't be so daft.

Name99 · 15/11/2022 22:08

Flobbertybillop · 15/11/2022 21:32

For those doubting posh wanks, I have just checked with a bunch of swingers, and yes, it is a thing

😂
Who are these swinger you checked with, ask them if they have bought new wash bags recently

knittingaddict · 15/11/2022 22:09

chevvyroo · 15/11/2022 18:35

You're kidding! Is that really a thing?

Show quote history

I've bought my husband wash bags before. Never seen a condom in one. Maybe that's what that posters partner told her. 😂

knittingaddict · 15/11/2022 22:10

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 15/11/2022 21:37

'Maybe he got them for you'.
'If your libido's low he's doing you a favour, just turn a blind eye'.
'He's using them for a "posh wank"' (WF ever-loving F)

And bringing up the rear (pun unintended), we have this absolute belter:

'They're sold in men's washbags'.

Righty-ho. Already taken out of the box, no less, divided up into separately packaged items.

Who. The. Fuck. ARE you people? Hazarding a wild, stab-in-the-dark guess most are not female.

Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck ...

Anonymous men seem to be hanging out on mn a lot recently.

Hotchocolate101 · 15/11/2022 22:21

Rainyautumnday · 15/11/2022 17:44

Regular, name changed here. DH travels for work a fair bit - maybe every 6 weeks. He’s about to head to a conference. He’d left his packed but open suitcase on the bed and I just moved it and had a look inside and found 2 condoms in his wash bag. It’s a new case and bag and we haven’t been on holiday together since he had it.

Do I confront him now or wait until he’s back? I know he’s unhappy at lack of physical relationship - I have been depressed and had low libido, but things are ok otherwise

Did you post this a few weeks ago? Or was this a diff user

Spookysparkles · 15/11/2022 22:24

littleburn · 15/11/2022 18:45

Jesus Christ people! A 'posh wank' is not a thing. It's some bullshit excuse that a man came up with for having condoms when he shouldn't have. Seriously, men do not wank into condoms! Please don't even put this ridiculous excuse into his head OP.

Agreed - not a real thing.

Obviouspretzel · 15/11/2022 22:43

A posh wank definitely is a real thing for some people. I would say few people bother though.

The argument that men won't wear condoms for sex so wouldn't wear them to wank makes no sense at all though. How is that the same thing at all?

Dadof5gremlins · 15/11/2022 22:47

Posh wanks are a thing. So much cleaner

Dadof5gremlins · 15/11/2022 22:50

Swear I read this few weeks ago