Page 5 | Found condoms in DH’s suitcase

Rainyautumnday · 2022-11-15T17:44:27+00:00

Regular, name changed here. DH travels for work a fair bit - maybe every 6 weeks. He’s about to head to a conference. He’d left his packed but open suitcase on the bed and I just moved it and had a look inside and found 2 condoms in his wash bag. It’s a new case and bag and we haven’t been on holiday together since he had it. Do I confront him now or wait until he’s back? I know he’s unhappy at lack of physical relationship - I have been depressed and had low libido, but things are ok otherwise

SillieSarah · 15/11/2022 20:57

AnyFucker · 15/11/2022 20:55

I am so sick of this urban myth getting dragged up over and over

There is no such thing as a “posh wank”.

Are we womansplaining?

Halstead · 15/11/2022 20:57

RedFlagAtNight · 15/11/2022 18:33

Lots of men's wash bags are sold with a couple of condoms included.

Chinny reckon…

Dorisbonson · 15/11/2022 20:58

My partner found a load of old condoms I hadnt thrown out and had moved house with twice! Sounds quite plausible to me OP.

Halstead · 15/11/2022 20:58

tunthebloodyalarmoff · 15/11/2022 20:53

What did you expect ? Really. It's a sad fact of life if men don't get sex I. Their relationship they will get it elsewhere It's horrible but why don't women realise this

Hahahaha!

Out of me and DH, it’s him that’s withholding.

What an utter load of shite your post is.

PollyAmour · 15/11/2022 20:58

A posh wank is a handy excuse to explain why a married man has condoms in his suitcase though 😂

WatieKatie · 15/11/2022 20:58

Personally I’d leave them, say nothing and see if they are in there when he returns. If you confront him now he’ll claim that they are old and he didn’t know that they were in there.

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/11/2022 21:00

I wouldn’t confront him till you know what you want to do about it.

Have a think about what your options are and put a plan in place first.

RNLD1981 · 15/11/2022 21:00

CallmeCath · 15/11/2022 20:41

@RNLD1981 @EarringsandLipstick
Yes.

I also have a large number of female long married friends who have also cheated. This is why i am now single.

I find that incredible

AussiUnHomme · 15/11/2022 21:00

Couchpotato3 · 15/11/2022 18:03

Do you have any other evidence of an affair? He might be using them for a 'posh wank'?

There's really no such thing as a posh wank after the age of 15...

OP, he's shagging someone else. He'll see it as being caused by your low libido.

minipie · 15/11/2022 21:01

now I’m questioning placement of them in the bag and thinking that there was also a new packet or his medication in there, so how could he not have seen them?

He may have seen them but it didn’t occur to him to clear them out, especially if he also transferred a bunch of other old stuff. Doesn’t sound like he’s a minimalist neat freak who would be especially careful/logical about what goes in the new washpack.

Agree posh wank is bollocks. But his explanation does ring true especially with expiry dates.

Rockingcloggs · 15/11/2022 21:05

CallmeCath · 15/11/2022 20:05

How long have you been married Op?

I have a friend who has been married 26 yrs, since they were young. Her husband goes away on work trips often. She recently told me she would be amazed if he hadn't had sex with others during all that time. I was shell shocked, she was non plussed. She then told me she herself has been attracted to other people and if they had fancied her too, she would have slept with them . She is unhappy but stuck due to finances. She has an escape plan but it involves what her lovely beloved Dad and what he will leave for her in terms of finances and, has put in place for her her so, she is bidding her time.

EVERY man i EVER worked with and known , in over 35 yrs of working, since the late 80's and present day, who is married; has slept with co workers and also hit on me and others, even present day. Even today, i have experienced this and witnessed this. I know someone who had a baby in the 90's ( the female) as a result if an affair and, agreed to keep it secret until the chid was 18 as; the father was married with 2 young DD's at the time and was a respected solicitor. She was paid a generous amount of money each month to stay within the agreement that their shared child; would only be revealed when his then own very slightly older daughters had been to uni , then his wife could know and leave if she wanted, once his daughters were educated and ready for the world. During this whole 18 yrs time he maintained regular with contact with the child who was a son , his only son.

I guess i am saying i do not know what marriage means. As a younger woman i always rebuffed these sleeze bags, even though i fancied them. Now, as an divorced woman who was always faithful, i see sex differently. I see it as just sex. So do i ask if they are married? Honestly no. It suits me.

Some, feel it ok for their spouse to sleep around, if it protects their own interests and marriage. They will turn a blind eye to safeguard what they have ;others do not. I suspect it is unrealistic to be monogamous for life. I do not know what to say Op, this is a horrible time and discovery for you.

I am a lone female worker in a company of 57 men (more if you count the ones that have been and gone) I'm not at all unattractive and have an alright figure and I really get on with the vast majority of them. Young men, old men, ones I really 'click' with, ones not so much. Married ones, single ones, divorced etc. I have been out on regular nights out with them and I've even worked away with a few. Not once. ONCE. Have any of them said or done anything remotely inappropriate.

BeverForget · 15/11/2022 21:05

@Couchpotato3
'Posh wank' was made up by someone like David Baddiel.
No male older than fourteen uses a condom for a wank.
An adult male with condoms is using them with another person.

Blizzardbeach · 15/11/2022 21:06

tbh id leave a post it note on the back of one of them.
with the words "I know" written on it.
Let him see it whilst hes away, let him sweat.

You have knowledge he doesnt know you have, the power lays with you.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 15/11/2022 21:09

Have to say it sounds plausible
but keep a close eye 👁

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/11/2022 21:10

A 'posh wank''?

So blokes who don't like using condoms for actual sex will use one for a wank? Get real.

He's cheating. Sorry.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 15/11/2022 21:11

I also agree that if he’s not getting what he feels is ‘enough sex’ there is a risk he’s using sex workers

an afffair you’d sniff out because of the texting

and - there’s every chance he is telling the truth

Thisisworsethananticpated · 15/11/2022 21:17

Rockingcloggs

I’ve worked at my company for many years and I’ve seen a few cheaters

one boss who’s prolific (Jesus !)
one who had condoms in his bag (married )
one who got a domantrix
one Who likes to route his flight home via Bangkok
Another married one

and of course there are men who have NOT and probably never will

I do beleive that men cheat when an opportunity arises and I think many are very good at justifying it to themselves , as they seem to see sex as a basic human right

Justrestingmyeyes1 · 15/11/2022 21:18

Halstead · 15/11/2022 20:57

Chinny reckon…

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂

Justthisonce12 · 15/11/2022 21:21

Rockingcloggs · 15/11/2022 21:05

I am a lone female worker in a company of 57 men (more if you count the ones that have been and gone) I'm not at all unattractive and have an alright figure and I really get on with the vast majority of them. Young men, old men, ones I really 'click' with, ones not so much. Married ones, single ones, divorced etc. I have been out on regular nights out with them and I've even worked away with a few. Not once. ONCE. Have any of them said or done anything remotely inappropriate.

Show quote history

I find that utterly implausible tbh. I’m a size 14 with crap menopausal hair, the tell-tales of a very tough few years on my face and ghe ability to end their careers and I quite regularly get propositioned by the males within my company from the age of 60 down to 22.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 15/11/2022 21:22

Justthisonce12

😂 still got it !

Newmum0322 · 15/11/2022 21:25

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/11/2022 21:10

A 'posh wank''?

So blokes who don't like using condoms for actual sex will use one for a wank? Get real.

He's cheating. Sorry.

I actually once had a work colleague tell me he did this! God knows how that came up in conversation…

He said he didn’t like to make a mess 🤣🤣

Sandrine1982 · 15/11/2022 21:28

Put scotch bonnet powder in them!

getoutof · 15/11/2022 21:29

Could he have transferred what was in his old wash bag to his new one?

Newmum0322 · 15/11/2022 21:29

Justthisonce12 · 15/11/2022 21:21

I find that utterly implausible tbh. I’m a size 14 with crap menopausal hair, the tell-tales of a very tough few years on my face and ghe ability to end their careers and I quite regularly get propositioned by the males within my company from the age of 60 down to 22.

Show quote history

I’m the same as @Rockingcloggs to be fair, but I think there’s a lot to be said for culture of a company. I’m not unattractive, and I was propositioned once by a newbie (bless him) but otherwise it was an extremely corporate and professional environment (worked there 10 years fresh out of uni). It would be taken very seriously! I think workplaces are very different and that will definitely lead to differing experiences.

WednesdaysChild11 · 15/11/2022 21:31

Now!!!!!