Polly and her Dollies are counting down to Christmas

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Hello my lovelies

Is this going to be the thread where I finally get divorced? Will my Ring of Fabulousness ever be worn? Will the Divorce Tattinger be drunk?

I bloody well hope so. It's been a very long time coming.

Here we are again. In the main headline news... I'm still not fucking divorced from Geller. I've had to sign an affidavit for the absolute application to say yes, I want to proceed, because it's taken so bloody long.

The Dollies are amazing, brilliant and pains in the bum in equal measures I can't believe how much they're growing up. For Christmas they want to learn how to make me a cup of tea for my present. I'll take that. DD1 hasn't had a good couple of weeks, not helped by me having a whole load of work done in the house so things here have been a bit chaotic. DD2 has been off school poorly with D&V, poor little mite.

Geller remains an eejit who is unable to put the Dollies first. The shenanigans have been unbelievable and of true Geller quality levels. I am rising above. And doing a lot of deep breathing. My parents have now moved house and my mother is being her usual self. I've distanced myself quite a bit. I did help them out for a day but that's it.

I'm becoming addicted to exercise again and have graduated to the fast lane in the swimming pool, hurrah. I've survived several spin classes and even treated myself to a new pair of trainers. My gardening is coming on nicely (I'm very good in autumn with slash and burn, I can do destruction) and I've now got my new shed up.

Work is insanely busy and I'm on the edge of a new possibility which will, if it comes off, be life changing for me and the Dollies in terms of security. It's going to be a crazy few months but I'll give it all I've got.

I haven't heard from Westley since I threw my toys out of the pram with him wanting to still be friends and message me randomly - no. I'm too good for breadcrumbing and I've got enough friends, thank you. I'm not dating, not planning on dating and finally feel like I'm starting to move on. But it's not a priority for me right now, although I do really miss cuddles. And sex!

Perhaps most excitingly, today I am trialling a new foundation. It's supposed to be a dupe of Estee Lauder's Double Wear, which I love, but I just can't justify the cost of for everyday wear.

As ever, if you're still following me, thank you. Without MN and you all I wouldn't be where I am today.

I had mumps when I was about 11 or 12. I like to assume I was vaccinated, but my mum was a little (a lottle) unreliable so not entirely sure. Have made up for all of those things since. My kids definitely vaxed.

My eldest had mumps when she was at uni. She was born in 1993 and when she went to a&e (because her housemates panicked) it was assumed she hadn't had her mmr because of Wakefield.

She told them that she had... I gave them every vaccination suggested.

She wasn't ill with it after the first day or so she just had to isolate in her bedroom for 10 days. Sounded like heaven to me tbh 🤣🤣

I had mumps as an older teen despite having had the MMR vaccine (and all others available) so it does happen!

I have to say, it was absolutely bloody miserable, poor Dolly I hope she's feeling better soon

Hope Dolly has a quick recovery.

Oh, she’s fully vaxxed, they both are. Bless her, she was so good yesterday, I had a really big work day too so I tucked her up on the sofa with all the cuddlies and endless Roblox and snuck in cuddles at the end of every meeting and let her build an Amazon wish list of everything she’d like for Christmas and birthday - she was in heaven!!

Geller did come and pick them up. He was going to cancel everything this weekend for DD1 as well because he couldn’t POSSIBLY be expected to sit in the car for an hour with DD2 but I managed to solve that by suggesting he ask a couple of my friends for help with lifts - I don’t see why she should miss out because he’s so incompetent

oh! The best thing. He was wibbling onto me about one appointment. I tartly said that he would just have to sit in the car for an hour and he was going on about having to drop DD2 and go home and then go back for her (this makes no sense. It’s 20 minutes there and back, so he’d be home for 15 minutes before having to go back again) when I rolled my eyes and said ‘whatever’, he snapped ‘you don’t understand!’ leaned in and whispered:

’My bladder can’t wait that long’

i whispered back

‘You still haven’t got that seen to? That’s pathetic’

Shouldn’t have risen but I just felt a bit bitchy. He looked so surprised that I hadn’t rushed in with a load of sympathy.

Gah! Pressed send too soon

You’ll have guessed it, the insomnia is back. I think I’m waiting desperately on the absolute. Could be any day now. Plus there’s a huge amount going on with work, a couple of friends aren’t in good places so I’m supporting them (boundaries in place!) and I’m starting to hate Christmas already.

It’ll be fine. I went to a lovely yoga class last night after the Dollies had gone, then treated myself to a Chinese. I’ve a swim booked before work in the morning, and tomorrow need to go buy new doors for the bedrooms. Turning them into barn sliders to maximise space.

oh! I’m still really impressed with my foundation by the way. If anyone is still interested in that recommendation 😁

Honestly Polly, I think that was a restrained response and it did make me smile! Hope the weekend is nice and productive or restful (delete as required) and you got a bit more sleep.

It's all about him. How his children are inconveniencing his bladder being just the latest.

You truly have the patience of a saint there @StuckInPollyannaMode. You really do. Well done on finding your gumption (I don't think this is even close to being in the ballpark of rising to his needling) and at exactly the right moment to show that you're not going to be messed with going forwards.

After all your years of saintliness it's high time he got a good snap - well done you!

Honestly I think you need to give him short shrift a lot more. You are so nice/pleasant to him that why he prattles on because you give him compassion and sympathy.

I agree.

Stop being so pleasant.

Let rip.
Bite back, short and sharp.

Make him wary around you.

He won't be long giving you space if you start quietly cutting him to the wick when he irritates you.

Marvellous for your stress levels to release it.

Sneery face optional!😁

He thinks you are happy to parent him because that seems to be the dynamic that has continued even since separating.

If the absolute has been applied for you don't need to keep him sweet. Sure you don't want "co-parenting" to fall apart but you need to detach far far more.

Leave him to sort out his arrangements even if it's a bit shit. You keep stepping in to manage things and then you wonder why he expects it from you/comes to you to solve every minor problem.

You need to grey rock and stick to short handovers and no more rambling emails.

"Noted" is the reply to the those

There’s also ODFOD

@StuckInPollyannaMode please share that foundation recommendation? I'm desperately looking for one as my clinique isn't holding up to the job :(

@Starlin its the loreal one on the first page

He’s texted. Geller has bought my parents a Christmas present and wants their new address to send it them.

Eh? Sorry, WHAT??

I’ve not replied. Not even with ‘notes’!

Long time lurker delurking to ask WTAF?

Oh my christ he really is an absolute bellend!

No, bollocks to that. You're quite right not to reply. He'll have contact info somewhere, he can just the fuck ask.

🙄

Just no words

You mean your mother hasn't given him the spare key and suggested he pops in for tea and cake every Sunday?

Oh, dear. Maybe she doesn't like him as much as he claimed she did after all.

Lord what a idiot he is. However your Mother will be getting him one again, so its a kind of "he does because she does"
I would reply. something on the lines of.
"What is this pointless idiocy ?"

Just ignore, he can get the address from them if they are on such good terms.

Well, that's not only cheeky, it's odd. You'd have thought if he needed your parent's address he'd have asked your brother or your parents themselves. I was under the impression that they were all very chummy. Do you think he just wanted you to know that he was still on 'gift giving' terms with them or is he really that dense?

I'd absolutely ignore the message. If he asks again I'd probably say "I consider it a violation of a person's privacy to give out their address. I must assume that if they wanted you to have it, they would have given it to you themselves".

Geller is such a man child

“I thought you were much higher up the Christmas card list than I am. Surely you have their address already. How odd…. Ummmm… No.”