Polly and her Dollies are counting down to Christmas

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Hello my lovelies

Is this going to be the thread where I finally get divorced? Will my Ring of Fabulousness ever be worn? Will the Divorce Tattinger be drunk?

I bloody well hope so. It's been a very long time coming.

Here we are again. In the main headline news... I'm still not fucking divorced from Geller. I've had to sign an affidavit for the absolute application to say yes, I want to proceed, because it's taken so bloody long.

The Dollies are amazing, brilliant and pains in the bum in equal measures I can't believe how much they're growing up. For Christmas they want to learn how to make me a cup of tea for my present. I'll take that. DD1 hasn't had a good couple of weeks, not helped by me having a whole load of work done in the house so things here have been a bit chaotic. DD2 has been off school poorly with D&V, poor little mite.

Geller remains an eejit who is unable to put the Dollies first. The shenanigans have been unbelievable and of true Geller quality levels. I am rising above. And doing a lot of deep breathing. My parents have now moved house and my mother is being her usual self. I've distanced myself quite a bit. I did help them out for a day but that's it.

I'm becoming addicted to exercise again and have graduated to the fast lane in the swimming pool, hurrah. I've survived several spin classes and even treated myself to a new pair of trainers. My gardening is coming on nicely (I'm very good in autumn with slash and burn, I can do destruction) and I've now got my new shed up.

Work is insanely busy and I'm on the edge of a new possibility which will, if it comes off, be life changing for me and the Dollies in terms of security. It's going to be a crazy few months but I'll give it all I've got.

I haven't heard from Westley since I threw my toys out of the pram with him wanting to still be friends and message me randomly - no. I'm too good for breadcrumbing and I've got enough friends, thank you. I'm not dating, not planning on dating and finally feel like I'm starting to move on. But it's not a priority for me right now, although I do really miss cuddles. And sex!

Perhaps most excitingly, today I am trialling a new foundation. It's supposed to be a dupe of Estee Lauder's Double Wear, which I love, but I just can't justify the cost of for everyday wear.

As ever, if you're still following me, thank you. Without MN and you all I wouldn't be where I am today.

Oh and if the girls haven't already got therapy lined up of some kind it might be good, they've had a tough few years adjusting, plus have their father being an idiot, and you being so ill must have worried them a lot. DS when unhappy with himself says he's an awful son and when I dug a little deeper it seems he worries that me being annoyed with him is a reflection of real feeling rather than the surface day to day thing that it actually is. So the girls might be "fine" but if things start getting intense it might be worth considering a deeper cause.
Sorry I haven't expressed that well but just to say sometimes they read meaning into events that just aren't there and they might bury anxiety around events for some time until things go boom.

Oh my WORD Polly!! Life is far from uneventful is it? I'm so sorry for your ill health but I'm also glad you are recovering. You are gradually turning into Wonder Womaaaann!!! 🎶 I'm glad you gave "friend" the elbow - let her go elsewhere, cheeky mare. And as for your mother - well least said... Keep on keeping on! 🤗🌹

Bloody hell Polly! So glad you're OK. That must have been terrifying!

Blimey you don't do things by half do you Polly!!! Glad you are in the mend. Gellar must have shat himself several times thinking he may have to step up and actually parent properly!

You boundaries have become ones of steel, 👏 bravo.

Blinking heck, that's an update and a half!

That must have been incredibly scary, I am
so glad you are recovered.

Well done Bro, and well done you on keeping them mother-boundaries high!

Your Dollies will be fine - they have got you, even if they also have Gellar. Echo what @Newestname002 says - WonderWoman!!

(I think my two are doing amazingly despite having a massive twat for a father 😀, and I don't have your balls of steel!).

KOKO!

oh Polly it sounds like you need a holiday!

Seriously, do take care, and cherish every moment with the dollies.

Oh god Polly, I’m so so glad you’re well and recovering. I had a post partum haemorrhage and remember going all soft focussed and out of body experience it was terrifying when I actually came back to my full senses!

Geller sounds oddly reassuringly Gellerlike!
I expect he’ll call an emergency meeting next week to discuss the girls university choices and how he’d like you to drive them to their unis (as he can’t reverse very well). Good you’ve told him what to do with his ridiculous pompous demands.

Wishing you love and happiness.

OMG,
You know that expression, "The most important thing is Good Health"
Well, Yes.
Get a good rest

So glad that you survived what sounds like the most horrendous frightening experience Polly.

I hope you are recovering well.

Wishing you well.

You know what your life sounds like? It sounds like 'a normal life'. Highs and lows, ups and downs, people supporting you and people disappointing you. You are handling it all on your own and ALL with aplomb and isn't that wonderful? You're the captain of the SS Polly and your ship is sailing with a fair wind and a following sea. No squall is going to dare shipwreck you!

I'm so sorry for your health scare and glad you're on the mend. Can you imagine having to go through all that when you were with Geller!?! OMG, what a nightmare that would have been!

So a good month has gone by. How are you Polly?

@StuckInPollyannaMode a lovely fellow MN shared your threads and I just wanted to say thank you. A fellow divorcee (my choice) in 2014 and your honesty really resonated. The highs, the lows, the turmoil, the adjustment, the longing, the loneliness, the doubt, the hope, the insecurity, the lust, the loss, the constants, the annoyance.

I think you could turn your threads into a novel and I think you should seriously consider doing so.

I longed for you to find a long term relationship with DI Dishy, and then Westley. It then dawned on me how much we are conditioned, as women, to seek successful relationships as some warped definition of our worth.

@StuckInPollyannaMode you have demonstrated strength, and self worth. I wish you every happiness and then some… you deserve nothing less than the best for you and your girls.

Oh my days @Itsokay2020 thank you for your lovely words. I often think I should turn it so into a book - certainly there would be an endless amount of sequel material from Geller!! Any editors or agents feel free to drop me a DM 🤣

@Mix56 that’s so kind of you! I’m doing really well thank you. The main news here is that the Dollies sat the 11+ yesterday, I’m super proud of them for the way they tackled it. Now we wait for another month for the results. Geller is being Geller and declaring he’ll HAVE to give up his job if they get into either of the grammar schools they want as he doesn’t know how he’s going to do the school run…he really is the gift that keeps on giving.

The other news is (and I know this won’t be as popular but god knows I’ve tried everything to get over the man without any joy and I haven’t lied to you lot ever so here goes…) Westley and I are back together. We’re giving long distance a go. Let’s see what happens.

<awaits arrival of firing squad>

So happy for you @StuckInPollyannaMode good luck on the girls results x

@StuckInPollyannaMode you need to do what makes you happy and put yourself first for a change. If long distance works, it works :)

Good luck Dollies, abd urgh Geller, nothing changes there!!

You do you Polly, as long as you're going in again with eyes wide open then you're an adult and it's your choice. We all just want to see you happy and don't want you to be hurt. So I hope no one gets too overprotective in their comments. 😉.
Fingers crossed for the dollies 11+ results.

That's a lovely update, and my fingers are crossed for your girls.

As for Westley - you're both adults and there's nothing wrong with giving it a shot. My late husband and I were long distance for 5 years and believe me, that was not the reason why it all ended up going tits up 20 years later!

lovely update!

I say, as long as it makes you happy!
But keep an open mind, (he was after all happily still putting out feelers while still in your life if I remember rightly....)
If someone else catches your eye.

Hope the girls pass, do they want to go to the same school?

@StuckInPollyannaMode

I don't think there's anything wrong with giving it a go with Westley. You've got a damned good head on your shoulders and if nothing else Geller has taught you what you DON'T want and that you don't need to compromise to keep some man happy. Just keep yourself and your wants and needs uppermost and see what happens

Geller is keeping on Gellering I see. But now you can hear it and say "Your self-made problems are not my circus any more, you pathetic lump".

Spent the last few days reading your threads! Thouroughly enjoyed the Gellerisms, reminds me very much of my ex 🤣
And, I’m here for Westley! Watching eagerly to see how it turns out

❤️

Well. That was a wild ride!!!!! Have finally arrived at the end of your posts... I was directed to Thread One via another post on Saturday, and I have been ENTHRALLED!! Holy moly. I barely drink but I might need a gin myself!!!

StuckInPollyannaMode

oh my goodness ! I haven’t been on here for a while but followed your journey from the start.

Its lovely that your still updating your thread. Like hearing from an old friend ( if that makes sense )

Sorry to learn that you’ve been poorly and how very sad about your cat. Big hugs.

Take care

@StuckInPollyannaMode

From a quiet observer of your journey from the beginning it's lovely to hear from you again
....... but, and said with kindness, you don't seem to take much notice of the wonderful advice from the MNsnetters who have supported you for so long.
Even though you've made inroads into breaking away from Geller, you seem to be focussed on just wanting to form another relationship with anyone who seems able to love you and support you.
You have friends able to support you and you have a life apart from Geller - you have a home, your girls, holidays and so many things to enjoy outside of a 'traditional relationship'.
I speak as a single parent and there's no disrespect meant here - you seem to be focussed on another long term relationship, rather than just taking stock and re-grouping. Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn, but you seem to just want another relationship for the sake of it - because that's what you know - it's familiar - without actually properly weighing things up.

Just maybe wait a bit, stop feeling sorry for yourself and just actually realise how strong you are. And then decide if you want a relationship and what you would actually want from it.
Take care in your journey forward and wishing you all things good xx

Hope you’re doing ok @StuckInPollyannaMode merry xmas!