Polly and her Dollies are counting down to Christmas

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Hello my lovelies

Is this going to be the thread where I finally get divorced? Will my Ring of Fabulousness ever be worn? Will the Divorce Tattinger be drunk?

I bloody well hope so. It's been a very long time coming.

Here we are again. In the main headline news... I'm still not fucking divorced from Geller. I've had to sign an affidavit for the absolute application to say yes, I want to proceed, because it's taken so bloody long.

The Dollies are amazing, brilliant and pains in the bum in equal measures I can't believe how much they're growing up. For Christmas they want to learn how to make me a cup of tea for my present. I'll take that. DD1 hasn't had a good couple of weeks, not helped by me having a whole load of work done in the house so things here have been a bit chaotic. DD2 has been off school poorly with D&V, poor little mite.

Geller remains an eejit who is unable to put the Dollies first. The shenanigans have been unbelievable and of true Geller quality levels. I am rising above. And doing a lot of deep breathing. My parents have now moved house and my mother is being her usual self. I've distanced myself quite a bit. I did help them out for a day but that's it.

I'm becoming addicted to exercise again and have graduated to the fast lane in the swimming pool, hurrah. I've survived several spin classes and even treated myself to a new pair of trainers. My gardening is coming on nicely (I'm very good in autumn with slash and burn, I can do destruction) and I've now got my new shed up.

Work is insanely busy and I'm on the edge of a new possibility which will, if it comes off, be life changing for me and the Dollies in terms of security. It's going to be a crazy few months but I'll give it all I've got.

I haven't heard from Westley since I threw my toys out of the pram with him wanting to still be friends and message me randomly - no. I'm too good for breadcrumbing and I've got enough friends, thank you. I'm not dating, not planning on dating and finally feel like I'm starting to move on. But it's not a priority for me right now, although I do really miss cuddles. And sex!

Perhaps most excitingly, today I am trialling a new foundation. It's supposed to be a dupe of Estee Lauder's Double Wear, which I love, but I just can't justify the cost of for everyday wear.

As ever, if you're still following me, thank you. Without MN and you all I wouldn't be where I am today.

As his ex PA, it is obviously your job to do the filling in of things. Geller is not god like and this so beneath his not so super powers!

Great reply!

I was having a rather bad evening and your response to Geller made me chuckle out loud. Short, sweet, and to the (very sharp) point.

I bet his jaw hit the floor.

Your update is inspiring to read. Getting work done to the new house, possible life changing work opportunity and slash and burn gardening is all awesome. So too, is your attitude to dating and recognising your own self worth.

I used to love wearing DW, wore it for years, alas I'm now too old and wrinkly and it just lays in all my cracks and crevices 😢.

😂😂 at your response to Geller, totally perfect response.

Good luck to DD (Darling Dolly) with her ballet exam!🍀

Fantastic update, i love the fact you're getting your life together, moving onwards and upwards and Geller is still... just a twat.

I'm picturing wherever he works there are two post-it notes in front of him and one says "Remember to breathe in (also see other post-it)" and the other reads "Remember to breathe out (also see other post-it)"

God forbid he might lose either post-it 😆😆😆😆😆

You're doing brilliantly. Best of luck with whatever the endeavour is and congratulations on the swimming!!!

He really does still just see you as his bloody maid, doesn't he?
What a.....sorry, you've used up all the adjectives already.

Oh my, how does he function day to day? I mean he manages to hold down a job right?

I'm hoping this is the thread for you Polly, there will be a big mumsnet divorce party!

Thank you all for your lovely and supportive comments as ever.

to answer a few points…I am feeling a lot stronger than I did. I’m not great by any means, but I’m not faking it. Well, not 100%. And not with you all, what would be the point?! I’m operating at, I would guess, 80%

Geller is still with the woman last seen rolling round the village green. Apparently is not serious and he wants me back. Ahahahahahahaha. Yes, yes he manages to hold down a 6 figure job. I have no idea how. Given that I used to outrank him. Fear not, he’s in daily expectation of being ousted and keeps threatening that he is being managed Towards retirement. Quite how, when he’s just been promoted to unit director, I’m unsure, but he has assured me there is no change to child maintenance. We shall see whether the truth will out in April when, by the order of the court settlement, he has to supply me with his P60 (spoiler alert: he’s LYING)

I haven’t bought a Jasmine yet. I’m waiting for the tree surgeon to come and do his thing. Otherwise I fear he will accidentally lop it. Question: what is the right time of year to plant? Should I get one and be nurturing it? Please also see: climbing hydrangea.

the foundation is fantastic- has stuck well today without looking crumbled and has grouted my visage successfully. Happy to recommend - please do your own reports back

re the Wagner - this really is a Ring Cycle <gets coat>

thank you for the good luck wishes for DD2. It’s not for a while but she is so excited. DD1 has decided to take up aerial gymnastics and spends most of her time upside down.

have had super day with friends including Michelin 3 Course lunch and champagne so please ignore typos

oh, and I also wish for the fleas. He already has short arms.

hope I’ve answered everything!!!

Oh! And another recommendation- from Lidl (in my head, Lid-ell if any of you have see the Ballard of aldi and Lidl) is this:

Late to the party, H is in hosp.
So glad you've got most of your mojo back Polly.
Just thought you need to get the divorce done before your work thing becomes gold !

@Mix56 get well vibes to your OH!

So nice to hear you sounding less defeated by it all and much more yourself @StuckInPollyannaMode. You are are a kickarse young goddess like Wonder Woman and you are obviously raising two more.
@Mix56 Hope your H is recovering

Thx both, he had a stroke, its going to be big learning curve for all.

hope he is ok, @Mix56.
Sending a hug

Oh @Mix56 as a stroke survivor nearly 2 years on I hope your DH works very hard at rehab x

I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully he got the right medical attention as quickly as possible so his recovery will not be too intensive. Wishing you all a lot of strength to get through this 💐

Oh goodness @Mix56 I hope your DH makes a good recovery x

So sorry to hear your update @Mix56 and everything crossed for a full recovery. Big hugs.

Thank you so much, best wishes from my co posters warms my heart, i hadn't shed a tear till now.
As you may have gathered from my multiple caustic comments, my marriage is certainly not a happy place, (its a whole thread of its own) so while I sympathise with his dilemma, I look at him & my brain is saying, "you have ruined your life, & mine by the same occasion". But we will see, he may pull through this time with few visible handicaps. He is being calm, polite & not swearing at the moment... so maybe he will change for the better ?
Sorry to hijack your thread Polly

Oh @Mix56 you hijack away my love. Lean on us. We’ve got you. What a situation to be in - I know if Geller had been taken ill just how much I would have struggled. Maybe he’s scared himself and this will result in positive change - I shall hope that things improve for you.

Oh Mix56 that's a tough one. Hope you're able to find a way through it all without too much damage to your own well-being. (Because some damage seems inevitable/unavoidable in these situations).

Oh @Mix56 Love, we’ve got you. We’re a community here and we’re not all AIBU vipers, I promise! How old is DH? I know it’s early days, but do you have any idea what you’re looking at yet? So frightening, and yet the brain can be so elastic. It’s hard for you when you have to answer everyone’s impossible questions and be brave and strong for DH, so please know it’s totally okay to be neither of those things here if you need us. Xxxx

Thanks again, he's 69, I can't believe he will 'scare himself and this will result in positive change', other than some kind of stroke induced brain alteration, we all know that any good intentions only last a short while,as long as it serves us, until we get comfy & revert

My current dread is that he won't be able to walk alone or drive & his frustration will be meted out on me.
I am not a nice person

Back to this thread instead....

@Mix56 in sickness and health with a selfish, nasty spouse - erm maybe not!

Be ruthless about not having him home until rehabilitation has been maximised and that you are not available to care for him.