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DH not inside work when I call?

294 replies

msscarlettwith · 05/04/2022 11:39

It would be useful to know what other think of this, if this is paranoia or not.
Me and DH work separately but will sometimes need to call one another about work. We are both self-employed. This has been for years. In the past year I started to notice that when I call his unit his employee would say DH is out (always at the same place) and will get DH to call me back.
The reason it started me to wonder what was going on was that the employee ( who is male) was starting to sound robotic. They'd always say exactly the same thing, almost with a sigh. Then DH would call me back usually fairly soon afterwards. It got to the stage where it was decided I'd call his mobile rather than the land-line. I can't remember how this was decided or what reason was given at the time.
There have been a few other things since I've been calling his mobile which made me wonder if DH is not actually inside the unit when I call.
He has an 'indoor' job, so not like he's outside working on cars for example. He's not a smoker so doesn't need to go outside.
It sometimes sounds like he's outside, but then is inside the building as our conversation progresses.
I once got what sounded like a divert signal when calling him.
He answered once sounding out of breath, I said that he sounded out of breath and he said he was running to the unit then quickly corrected himself, laughed and said, ' to the unit?! I mean, across the unit, der '.
His employee answered his mobile once inside and said DH was outside talking to someone. DH must have pre-asked employee to do that as they would never normally answer each others phones.
There are a couple of other more specific examples too which suggest DH is often outside the unit, but close enough to return in minutes.
I can't think what he's doing that he's outside but close to the unit but that he needs to effectively lie to me.

OP posts:
whoturnedthesunoff · 06/04/2022 16:32

On a serious note
What the actual hell? Do people not have enough in their life that they can sit and fabricate this crap

I get far too involved , come back for updates , feel empathy for scorned women , anger at the CL's , concern for the kids and then wham I'm making up crap about Fred and Gladys and it was all rubbish

I need a hobby one that is calorie and cost free

MichaelMumsnet · 06/04/2022 16:43

But.... this is calorie and cost free.

Pixiedust1234 · 06/04/2022 16:52

Oh, this is too funny. Thanks for not deleting the thread Grin

Onthedunes · 06/04/2022 17:08

Op's husband has secretly rented out his unit for the safe hiding of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith.

The unit next door is currently housing Chris Rock and he is trying to broker a deal for negotiation between the two parties, thereby constantly running between the 2 units.

This ties in with the times and his changed behaviour after the Oscars.
The goats have been brought in for security.

LovedayCL · 06/04/2022 17:15

OP is unwittingly married to NEO and the unit is the Nebuchadnezzar. He needs her to call so he can find his way back to the unit each time.

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 06/04/2022 18:06

The husbands assistant sighed even louder at yet another phone call from the wife he doesn't really think exists outside of a well known online forum but it still distracts him from tending his little herd of goats.

Enough is enough he thinks and bricks up the time portal hole-in-the-unit-wall to 1842, leaving the imaginary husband to live happily with his Victorian OW.

With a happy smile the assistant returns to his goats, telling them the tale of the troll who has been banished and will bother them no more, leaving them to spend their days perfecting their famous goat bmx troupe routines.

And they all lived happily ever after! (the goat bmx troupe bit - just kidding)

WonderfulYou · 06/04/2022 19:22

Maybe OP doesn’t actually have a husband - she just rings up every day asking to speak to this man who she’s obsessed with which is why he doesn’t answer and she assumes he must be outside talking to some women instead.
She knows he’s at work because she’s watching him through the window.

Thisisit2022 · 06/04/2022 20:21

I'd love to know how you come to conclusions like this MNHQ. Is it based on previous posting history? (Because you can see all usernames the OP has posted under and seen a pattern or lots of anomalies between their posts?)

Dipsydoodlenoodle · 06/04/2022 22:03

The OP turns up to the unit where her husband works...its empty...she wonders inside and finds a homeless man sheltering, he's lived in the empty unit for 5 years and no one has ever heard for OPs husband. OP calls the police about a missing person...only for the police to tell her he never existed. She wakes up and is surrounded by nurses telling her she's been in a coma for the last 18 years.

Love the idea of making our own endings haha.

WonderfulYou · 06/04/2022 22:08

I'd love to know how you come to conclusions like this MNHQ.

I assume it’s because it was such a ridiculous story - she said he was at work but was worried he was outside the unit talking to someone - why would that even be an issue anyway.

SouperNoodle · 07/04/2022 00:36

The OP's DH is Superman. He's busy fighting crime.

Hawkins001 · 07/04/2022 00:50

@SouperNoodle

The OP's DH is Superman. He's busy fighting crime.
Could be military, or intelligence services personal
Thisisit2022 · 07/04/2022 07:27

@WonderfulYou

I'd love to know how you come to conclusions like this MNHQ.

I assume it’s because it was such a ridiculous story - she said he was at work but was worried he was outside the unit talking to someone - why would that even be an issue anyway.

It's far from the most outlandish of threads here!
thestraitofillinois · 07/04/2022 11:11

When you read all OP posts in isolation it doesn't sound fake.

FurryKi · 07/04/2022 12:01

Ludicrous non-story from the start. But maybe passes the time for some.

BornBlonde · 07/04/2022 22:53

@HebeMumsnet

Afternoon, all.

We're afraid we aren't convinced this OP is genuine so we've shown them the door. Rather a shame, as we were quite enjoying the fairy tale, but we felt it was unfair to let people be strung along who were trying to help.

Rather than simply delete it, we wondered if we could interest anyone in a Choose Your Own Adventure style resolution to the thread?

We'll go first:

The OP drives to the Unit, where she discovers her husband, doing wheelies on a BMX outside. It turns out he is a secret stunt biker, who once had eyes on the next Olympics but his dodgy knee let him down and now he is alone, in a unit car park... Just him, the bike and his broken dreams. They have a good chat about it and he agrees to start concentrating more on his day job and she will come and watch him at the skate park every Saturday morning to show wifely support of his hobby that is now no longer in the dark and something he can be proud of, even if he does look a little daft. They leave their cars in the car park and he gives her a 'backy' all the way home into the sunset. The end.

Now you go.

Love this Smile
Leaven85728 · 16/12/2022 14:53

The truth will out. You just need to think about it more carefully. What is nearby, close enough to run from to be back to the unit quickly? What can you hear in the background? Calls are clearly being diverted so there is at least one more mobile device not known to you. Short of memorising it, where would you store the number of a second secret phone?

Haffiana · 16/12/2022 15:05

Another bloody zombie.

Hawkins001 · 16/12/2022 18:48

Haffiana · 16/12/2022 15:05

Another bloody zombie.

A classic though.

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