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DH not inside work when I call?

294 replies

msscarlettwith · 05/04/2022 11:39

It would be useful to know what other think of this, if this is paranoia or not.
Me and DH work separately but will sometimes need to call one another about work. We are both self-employed. This has been for years. In the past year I started to notice that when I call his unit his employee would say DH is out (always at the same place) and will get DH to call me back.
The reason it started me to wonder what was going on was that the employee ( who is male) was starting to sound robotic. They'd always say exactly the same thing, almost with a sigh. Then DH would call me back usually fairly soon afterwards. It got to the stage where it was decided I'd call his mobile rather than the land-line. I can't remember how this was decided or what reason was given at the time.
There have been a few other things since I've been calling his mobile which made me wonder if DH is not actually inside the unit when I call.
He has an 'indoor' job, so not like he's outside working on cars for example. He's not a smoker so doesn't need to go outside.
It sometimes sounds like he's outside, but then is inside the building as our conversation progresses.
I once got what sounded like a divert signal when calling him.
He answered once sounding out of breath, I said that he sounded out of breath and he said he was running to the unit then quickly corrected himself, laughed and said, ' to the unit?! I mean, across the unit, der '.
His employee answered his mobile once inside and said DH was outside talking to someone. DH must have pre-asked employee to do that as they would never normally answer each others phones.
There are a couple of other more specific examples too which suggest DH is often outside the unit, but close enough to return in minutes.
I can't think what he's doing that he's outside but close to the unit but that he needs to effectively lie to me.

OP posts:
Whatsonmymindgrapes · 06/04/2022 03:58

Very strange. Have you just asked him?

WTF475878237NC · 06/04/2022 04:01

Whatsonmymindgrapes

10 pages in Grin

WTF475878237NC · 06/04/2022 04:02

Sorry erroneous emoji! 10 pages in - OP has a plan.

autienotnaughty · 06/04/2022 05:59

Good luck hope you get some answers

C8H10N4O2 · 06/04/2022 08:11

@OverByYer

Hmm another thread where the OP mysteriously disappears? Hmm
Oh I dunno, the little drive by must be good for another hundred posts or so.
msscarlettwith · 06/04/2022 10:33

This thread seems to have thrown up some questions. Just to confirm I do know the person who was always answering the landline and telling me DH was at another (named) place.

The sigh wasn't him being rude at me for calling too much. I interpreted it to mean he was fed up of saying the same thing. It was shortly after this that I started calling DH mobile instead, but can't remember how or what reason was given at the time for change to mobile.

I don't 'always' or 'often' call. PP is right about our businesses being connected which is reason for calls. Is probably 50:50 DH calls me/I call DH.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 06/04/2022 10:47

The sigh wasn't him being rude at me for calling too much. I interpreted it to mean he was fed up of saying the same thing.

Which suggests he's saying it to everyone. Not just you. Which suggests your DH is avoiding calls generally.

msscarlettwith · 06/04/2022 10:51

I don't think he's avoiding calls. I think it's because he's not inside the building.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 06/04/2022 10:56

But he always answers whenever you call. So what's the issue?

If the other guy tells you where he is why does it matter?

What do you think he's doing where he always answers your calls or calls you back immediately?

msscarlettwith · 06/04/2022 11:14

@girlmom21

But he always answers whenever you call. So what's the issue?

If the other guy tells you where he is why does it matter?

What do you think he's doing where he always answers your calls or calls you back immediately?

He doesn't always answer when I call.

It doesn't matter that the other guy is telling me where he is.

I am not sure what he's doing. My instinct says he's chatting to someone outside.

He'll call me back not immediately but within minutes, which suggests he isn't with an OW.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 06/04/2022 11:17

@msscarlettwith so why isn't he allowed to be outside talking? I don't understand.

Imperialmints · 06/04/2022 11:22

I realise you call for work related reasons, but do you call him at a fairly regular time? Eg you've worked through you schedule and reached x point that he's able to help with. So he knows roughly what time to try to be back for?

msscarlettwith · 06/04/2022 11:36

@Imperialmints

I realise you call for work related reasons, but do you call him at a fairly regular time? Eg you've worked through you schedule and reached x point that he's able to help with. So he knows roughly what time to try to be back for?
This occurred to me yesterday actually and you're absolutely right. There would be a pattern to calls, just because of both of our work patterns, but I'd never given it much thought before. It would be unlikely for me to call him early morning or late in the day.
OP posts:
Imperialmints · 06/04/2022 11:52

If you do manage to get over there for a surprise visit, maybe you could make it about an hour before you'd usually call

gannett · 06/04/2022 11:57

[quote girlmom21]@msscarlettwith so why isn't he allowed to be outside talking? I don't understand. [/quote]
This is the question that's been bugging at me all through reading this utterly bizarre thread full of wannabe soap writers.

Lagattolove · 06/04/2022 12:06

My DH works around a lot of business units and is super sociable. At any given point in the day he could be ‘out’ and I wouldn’t give it a second thought. I just can’t see why it’s suspicious at all.

workworkworkugh · 06/04/2022 12:06

"He doesn't always answer when I call.

It doesn't matter that the other guy is telling me where he is.

I am not sure what he's doing. My instinct says he's chatting to someone outside.

He'll call me back not immediately but within minutes, which suggests he isn't with an OW."

@msscarlettwith not trying to flog a dead horse here.
But on the possibility he could be with OW, could the worker then text your DH and so he calls you back straight away?
Just because he's possibly with OW, doesn't mean she doesn't know about you and knows he needs to call you to keep up the charade.

HebeMumsnet · 06/04/2022 12:12

Afternoon, all.

We're afraid we aren't convinced this OP is genuine so we've shown them the door. Rather a shame, as we were quite enjoying the fairy tale, but we felt it was unfair to let people be strung along who were trying to help.

Rather than simply delete it, we wondered if we could interest anyone in a Choose Your Own Adventure style resolution to the thread?

We'll go first:

The OP drives to the Unit, where she discovers her husband, doing wheelies on a BMX outside. It turns out he is a secret stunt biker, who once had eyes on the next Olympics but his dodgy knee let him down and now he is alone, in a unit car park... Just him, the bike and his broken dreams. They have a good chat about it and he agrees to start concentrating more on his day job and she will come and watch him at the skate park every Saturday morning to show wifely support of his hobby that is now no longer in the dark and something he can be proud of, even if he does look a little daft. They leave their cars in the car park and he gives her a 'backy' all the way home into the sunset. The end.

Now you go.

WTF475878237NC · 06/04/2022 12:19

She drives to the Unit and discovers he's there alright... talking to Steve from the engineering team. She decides he must have a secret crush on Steve so sits outside in her car, hat pulled low, stalking doughnuts at the ready, and calls the Unit asking to speak to her DH and waits with bated breath... The usual guy with the sigh greets her on the phone but this time says "I'll just get him". She watches DH continue to talk to Steve whilst the call reconnects and a man with a distinctly unDH voice comes on the phone and says "hi darling, what can I do for you?".

Mistaken identity? Secret twin?

HebeMumsnet · 06/04/2022 12:22

@WTF475878237NC

She drives to the Unit and discovers he's there alright... talking to Steve from the engineering team. She decides he must have a secret crush on Steve so sits outside in her car, hat pulled low, stalking doughnuts at the ready, and calls the Unit asking to speak to her DH and waits with bated breath... The usual guy with the sigh greets her on the phone but this time says "I'll just get him". She watches DH continue to talk to Steve whilst the call reconnects and a man with a distinctly unDH voice comes on the phone and says "hi darling, what can I do for you?".

Mistaken identity? Secret twin?

OH GOD!!! The call was coming from INSIDE THE UNIT!
stayathomegardener · 06/04/2022 12:22

Ohhhhhh @HebeMumsnet I like this new twist!

TeapotCollection · 06/04/2022 12:23

She drives over there and he is indeed outside talking: to Elvis Presley

midsomermurderess · 06/04/2022 12:35

She wakes up and realises, it was all a dream, her dreaming she was in a episode of Shakespear and Hathaway.

CockSpadget · 06/04/2022 12:36

Is there a catering/sandwich van on the site? Could be out chatting the someone working on it.

midsomermurderess · 06/04/2022 12:38

@CockSpadget, things have, ahem, moved on.