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DH not inside work when I call?

4 replies

msscarlettwith · 05/04/2022 11:39

It would be useful to know what other think of this, if this is paranoia or not.
Me and DH work separately but will sometimes need to call one another about work. We are both self-employed. This has been for years. In the past year I started to notice that when I call his unit his employee would say DH is out (always at the same place) and will get DH to call me back.
The reason it started me to wonder what was going on was that the employee ( who is male) was starting to sound robotic. They'd always say exactly the same thing, almost with a sigh. Then DH would call me back usually fairly soon afterwards. It got to the stage where it was decided I'd call his mobile rather than the land-line. I can't remember how this was decided or what reason was given at the time.
There have been a few other things since I've been calling his mobile which made me wonder if DH is not actually inside the unit when I call.
He has an 'indoor' job, so not like he's outside working on cars for example. He's not a smoker so doesn't need to go outside.
It sometimes sounds like he's outside, but then is inside the building as our conversation progresses.
I once got what sounded like a divert signal when calling him.
He answered once sounding out of breath, I said that he sounded out of breath and he said he was running to the unit then quickly corrected himself, laughed and said, ' to the unit?! I mean, across the unit, der '.
His employee answered his mobile once inside and said DH was outside talking to someone. DH must have pre-asked employee to do that as they would never normally answer each others phones.
There are a couple of other more specific examples too which suggest DH is often outside the unit, but close enough to return in minutes.
I can't think what he's doing that he's outside but close to the unit but that he needs to effectively lie to me.

HebeMumsnet · 06/04/2022 12:12

Afternoon, all.

We're afraid we aren't convinced this OP is genuine so we've shown them the door. Rather a shame, as we were quite enjoying the fairy tale, but we felt it was unfair to let people be strung along who were trying to help.

Rather than simply delete it, we wondered if we could interest anyone in a Choose Your Own Adventure style resolution to the thread?

We'll go first:

The OP drives to the Unit, where she discovers her husband, doing wheelies on a BMX outside. It turns out he is a secret stunt biker, who once had eyes on the next Olympics but his dodgy knee let him down and now he is alone, in a unit car park... Just him, the bike and his broken dreams. They have a good chat about it and he agrees to start concentrating more on his day job and she will come and watch him at the skate park every Saturday morning to show wifely support of his hobby that is now no longer in the dark and something he can be proud of, even if he does look a little daft. They leave their cars in the car park and he gives her a 'backy' all the way home into the sunset. The end.

Now you go.

HebeMumsnet · 06/04/2022 12:22

@WTF475878237NC

She drives to the Unit and discovers he's there alright... talking to Steve from the engineering team. She decides he must have a secret crush on Steve so sits outside in her car, hat pulled low, stalking doughnuts at the ready, and calls the Unit asking to speak to her DH and waits with bated breath... The usual guy with the sigh greets her on the phone but this time says "I'll just get him". She watches DH continue to talk to Steve whilst the call reconnects and a man with a distinctly unDH voice comes on the phone and says "hi darling, what can I do for you?".

Mistaken identity? Secret twin?

OH GOD!!! The call was coming from INSIDE THE UNIT!

HebeMumsnet · 06/04/2022 15:14

@CuddlyCactus

I think they know it's fake because the unit the DH works in is actually Mumsnet
MichaelMumsnet, sitting on a BMX outside the door to the MumsnetUnit with some suspicious-looking goats.

"Phone for you, Michael. It's a woman..."

MichaelMumsnet · 06/04/2022 16:43

But.... this is calorie and cost free.

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