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Original poster

Do you fancy your husband/partner?

298 replies

cellardoorr · 01/04/2022 10:35

I'm not sure I ever have really, not in the way I'd like. Sounds awful I know!

I've never had that "just what to jump on you" feeling 😅 I really wish I had though! Am I missing out?

OP posts:
beguilingeyes · 01/04/2022 10:43

I used to...menopause has pretty much killed my libido.

ravenmum · 01/04/2022 10:44

Yes, I do. For me, smell is a major factor Grin. I couldn't get into bed with him otherwise. Is that an issue for you?
Do you mean you are asexual or just don't fancy this partner, or do you mean something else?

Original poster
cellardoorr · 01/04/2022 10:48

@ravenmum

Yes, I do. For me, smell is a major factor Grin. I couldn't get into bed with him otherwise. Is that an issue for you? Do you mean you are asexual or just don't fancy this partner, or do you mean something else?
The smell thing is something I've never thought about before although I definitely think it could be a thing! He doesn't particularly smell good to me (us this to do with pheromones?). I'm not asexual, I've felt more of an attraction to other men before.
OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 01/04/2022 10:49

The smell thing is essential. I fancy the pants off DH. Wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t and thankfully I still do.

Thereisnolight · 01/04/2022 10:51

Well when you marry you have a choice: real jewellery and fake orgasms, or real orgasms and fake jewellery.
(I paraphrase - I know women work - I’m not talking about actual jewellery etc etc)
I’m guessing you chose the real jewellery. Every so often you’ll regret what you’ve missed out on. Other times you won’t.

MrsGHarrison87 · 01/04/2022 10:55

Yeah I do fancy my husband. He's gorgeous. I didn't fancy my ex though who I was with for 5 years. He couldn't keep his hands off me but I didn't find him attractive at all. It started as friendship and grew to a relationship of convenience for various reasons. I always knew I would end it one day because I was always looking elsewhere. When I acted on that, it was over and I'm a lot happier and more fulfilled these days.

ChameFangeNail · 01/04/2022 10:55

Yes, I fancy DH. To me, he's still the most good looking man of them all. Haven't meet anyone in 12 years who could hold a candle to him.

My long term boyfriend before him was someone I loved and adored and he was a wonderful man, but he never gave me tummy flips in the way DH does. By the end I couldn't shag him, it felt too incestuous.

Thereisnolight · 01/04/2022 10:57

You guys are lucky then🙂. Enjoy!!

Shurl · 01/04/2022 10:58

I definitely fancy my dp. The way he looked gave me a dippy tummy when we first met. And i remember his smell was the best thing when he first held me. I still love snuggling deep into his chest on a weekend morning, there's something about his smell at the bottom of his neck under his chin Blush

Before him, I had no idea pheromones could be so powerful.

Original poster
cellardoorr · 01/04/2022 11:06

I think I've always felt guilty about feeling like this so have pushed the thoughts aside. He's a good person, caring etc. I'm just finding that with time I'm withdrawing more and more.

OP posts:
okayigetit · 01/04/2022 11:08

Yes, been together 6 years, I don't think every time I see him 'I really fancy you' and there are times where I don't massively fancy him, but when we go out and he puts his shirt on and trims his beard and puts his aftershave on, I think ooft! Haha

maras2 · 01/04/2022 11:14

Absolutely.
He's gorgeous.
We met when he was 19 and fancied him straight away.
He's now 72 and I feel just the same. Smile

Gonnagetgoing · 01/04/2022 11:16

I do but it goes in peaks and troughs. We first met 11 years ago when he was a lot slimmer and both he and I have let ourselves go.

He's a good looking man (being Cypriot so Mediterranean looking helps!).

Gonnagetgoing · 01/04/2022 11:17

Re exes - there was one ex of mine who was good looking, just my type and we had chemistry when we first met, spent the evening in a bar snogging and drinking!

Another ex - fiance - we had good chemistry to start off but it waned. Now when I see his photos years later I do think, pity but you've changed! He was the sort of man who was good looking so that other women looked at him in shops etc.

PurpleParrotfish · 01/04/2022 11:20

@Thereisnolight

Well when you marry you have a choice: real jewellery and fake orgasms, or real orgasms and fake jewellery. (I paraphrase - I know women work - I’m not talking about actual jewellery etc etc) I’m guessing you chose the real jewellery. Every so often you’ll regret what you’ve missed out on. Other times you won’t.
Eh? Since OP didn’t say anything about money this is just a weird misogynistic assumption that the only two considerations for women choosing a partner are money and sex.
PurpleParrotfish · 01/04/2022 11:22

@maras2

Absolutely. He's gorgeous. We met when he was 19 and fancied him straight away. He's now 72 and I feel just the same. Smile
Aw that’s so lovely.
HumptyDumpty2022 · 01/04/2022 11:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

miltonj · 01/04/2022 11:24

@maras2

Absolutely. He's gorgeous. We met when he was 19 and fancied him straight away. He's now 72 and I feel just the same. Smile
Love that 🥰
Comedycook · 01/04/2022 11:25

Yes you are missing out. How did you even get together? I wouldn't have even entertained the idea of a romantic encounter with someone I didn't fancy. I don't understand why anyone would

19Bears · 01/04/2022 11:27

Unfortunately not. I'm not sure I ever did. And definitely not to clothes-ripping level. Also never had the pheromone connection with him. Added to that his growing interest / obsession towards the other end of the political spectrum from me over the years, he's become less and less attractive. Not to mention the teeth hygiene issues... Not a great picture I'm painting here!
It's lovely to see those of you who are still head over heels with your partners. Good for you!

LindaEllen · 01/04/2022 11:28

I fancy DP. We've only been together for 4.5 years though, so I suppose that's quite 'new' compared to lots of you on here.

But sometimes I just look at him, and the way he smiles makes my heart melt, it's mad. I didn't think I was that kind of person before!

Comedycook · 01/04/2022 11:29

@19Bears

Unfortunately not. I'm not sure I ever did. And definitely not to clothes-ripping level. Also never had the pheromone connection with him. Added to that his growing interest / obsession towards the other end of the political spectrum from me over the years, he's become less and less attractive. Not to mention the teeth hygiene issues... Not a great picture I'm painting here! It's lovely to see those of you who are still head over heels with your partners. Good for you!
But how does this start? You went on a date with something didnt fancy? If yes, why?
Sunnytwobridges · 01/04/2022 11:30

I never did with my ex except when he was wearing something that looked really good on him. He fancied me a lot and I always wished that I was into him the same way but it just never happened

19Bears · 01/04/2022 11:37

Oh @Comedycook I ask myself this a lot. It's a long story. Had just come out of a LTR with someone who could never have kids, friend made me go to speed dating with her, I didn't like him but he came after me and I agreed to go out with him, things drifted into a relationship then marriage and kids. He had also just been dumped by his fiance and all his future plans had gone, so I think we stuck together for both our envisioned futures.... If I could go back....... But saying that, if I hadn't met him, I wouldn't have my boys who are everything to me, so I wouldn't go back. However, I can't continue this way. I need the pheromone thing........ Sad

ravenmum · 01/04/2022 11:42

I've only been with this guy 5 years too. I was with my exh for 20 years - he was still physically attractive, but I have to say that the more annoying/distant he became over the years, the less I fancied him - even the smell. I think that part of the smell is about what you associate it with - if it's fun times and good sex, then the smell is sexy.
The current guy is overweight and balding, with wonky teeth - not coventionally attractive really but he has a really good jawline and shoulders, a nice deep voice, warm brown eyes and GSOH.

@Thereisnolight What do you offer, then? Are you rich but crap at sex, or poor but good at sex? I had no idea those were the only options.

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