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Original poster

Do you fancy your husband/partner?

298 replies

cellardoorr · 01/04/2022 10:35

I'm not sure I ever have really, not in the way I'd like. Sounds awful I know!

I've never had that "just what to jump on you" feeling 😅 I really wish I had though! Am I missing out?

OP posts:
ravenmum · 01/04/2022 11:44

Have you been with your dp long @cellardoorr ?

Hariboqueen1 · 01/04/2022 12:56

Yea I do. I think hes the most gorgeous man Ive ever met. I always think I dont know how I got so lucky.

totallyoutnumbered · 01/04/2022 12:58

@maras2

Absolutely. He's gorgeous. We met when he was 19 and fancied him straight away. He's now 72 and I feel just the same. Smile
I love this so much ☺️
BlueSlate · 01/04/2022 13:03

Yes.

He isn't objectively good looking and he doesn't have a perfect body but he's gorgeous to me and I fancy him enormously!

Original poster
cellardoorr · 01/04/2022 13:53

I'm maybe being a bit harsh by saying I never did. I must have fancied him but I remember thinking that I wished I fancied him more. He's always been very into me physically and I've felt jealous at times about that. I wish I felt the same. We've been together for 16 years.

The pheromones thing is something I've read a few times on here and has made me wonder! He twiddles his facial hair a lot (something that for some reason really irritates me) and I think it makes it kind of smell funny so sometimes when we kiss it's not a pleasant smell, if that makes sense, so doesn't make me want to do more of it!

OP posts:
CambsAlways · 01/04/2022 14:03

Yes, yes,yes,🤣 been together 40 years and still do! He’s geogous, not just in looks but kind hearted etc, we both feel the same way about each other and hopefully always will

bettertocryinamercedes · 01/04/2022 14:06

@Thereisnolight

Well when you marry you have a choice: real jewellery and fake orgasms, or real orgasms and fake jewellery. (I paraphrase - I know women work - I’m not talking about actual jewellery etc etc) I’m guessing you chose the real jewellery. Every so often you’ll regret what you’ve missed out on. Other times you won’t.
😂 🤔
SadButTheTruth · 01/04/2022 14:50

No, never have really, just like you OP, and I feel guilty for feeling like that. He is however the kindest, most caring, honourable and decent man who loves me and our children more than anything. So I love him for himself rather than my physical reaction to him. I feel sad that I don’t want to climb him like a tree like I have other men (long ago in the past when I was capable of that) but it’s not the foundation of our relationship.

SadButTheTruth · 01/04/2022 14:58

Isn’t what @Thereisnolight trying to say is that we all make different choices (although they’ve made it sound weirdly materialistic)? Some people make their choice based on physical compatibility over other factors? I think I chose security after several poor choices based on physical attraction.

ravenmum · 01/04/2022 15:01

Has he got a proper beard? They need looking after or they can smell a bit unpleasant.
I think it works in either direction, though - if they make you feel happy, then you associate their smell and appearance with nice things, and react positively. But if they make you feel miserable, or you've just lost the connection, then their smell/breathing/fidgeting/shoes in the wrong place are all just really annoying!

Peppaismyrolemodel · 01/04/2022 15:09

@maras2

Absolutely. He's gorgeous. We met when he was 19 and fancied him straight away. He's now 72 and I feel just the same. Smile
That’s such a hopeful story to hear Smile
Cirelle · 01/04/2022 15:10

No I don’t fancy my husband. I married him for financial stability and to have a child before I was too old. He’s a good father and a good person.

I have had that “want to jump on you” feeling with other partners in the past. But they didn’t want a serious long term relationship with me. I’m glad I had the experience of feeling like that. I miss it. I daydream about it. Hopefully one day my marriage will end and I’ll be able to feel like that again with someone else. But for now I have to prioritise financial stability for my child which means staying with my husband.

SameToo · 01/04/2022 15:12

Yup. Although in a lull at the moment with back to back illness and on going health issues. I don’t think he is attracted to me though.

DuckaLucka · 01/04/2022 15:13

Yes. More so at certain times of the month. If I’m due on I don’t find anybody attractive, no matter how gorgeous they are! Whereas when I’m ovulating, just the smell of a man’s aftershave as he walks past is enough

MistyFrequencies · 01/04/2022 15:13

Yes. He was chopping wood the other day and my knees went a bit weak just watching him.

Original poster
cellardoorr · 01/04/2022 15:16

@ravenmum

Has he got a proper beard? They need looking after or they can smell a bit unpleasant. I think it works in either direction, though - if they make you feel happy, then you associate their smell and appearance with nice things, and react positively. But if they make you feel miserable, or you've just lost the connection, then their smell/breathing/fidgeting/shoes in the wrong place are all just really annoying!
Not a proper beard no, just sort of long stubble but he never leaves it alone and for some reason it really annoys me! I do find myself feeling irritated sometimes at little things he does that aren't particularly annoying or bad but they seem to just grate on me! I feel terrible saying that. Things seemed to change a lot after having our child. I think having less of my own "me" time affects my patience levels!
OP posts:
BlueSlate · 01/04/2022 15:31

@Cirelle

No I don’t fancy my husband. I married him for financial stability and to have a child before I was too old. He’s a good father and a good person.

I have had that “want to jump on you” feeling with other partners in the past. But they didn’t want a serious long term relationship with me. I’m glad I had the experience of feeling like that. I miss it. I daydream about it. Hopefully one day my marriage will end and I’ll be able to feel like that again with someone else. But for now I have to prioritise financial stability for my child which means staying with my husband.

This is one of the saddest things I've read.

How utterly soul destroying it must be.

ICantRideABike · 01/04/2022 15:33

Together 30 years, married 25. Still fancy the pants off him

Madre123 · 01/04/2022 15:35

Absolutely.....

JamesHetfieldspick · 01/04/2022 15:36

Yes! Very much so. I fancied him when he was a skinny long haired 20 year old and I still fancy the pants off him now hes 53 older greyer and not as skinny! The smell of him..his smile..the wicked glint in his eye..I wouldn't swap him for anything!

misssunshine4040 · 01/04/2022 15:36

@Cirelle

No I don’t fancy my husband. I married him for financial stability and to have a child before I was too old. He’s a good father and a good person.

I have had that “want to jump on you” feeling with other partners in the past. But they didn’t want a serious long term relationship with me. I’m glad I had the experience of feeling like that. I miss it. I daydream about it. Hopefully one day my marriage will end and I’ll be able to feel like that again with someone else. But for now I have to prioritise financial stability for my child which means staying with my husband.

How utterly depressing.

Does your husband know you feel this way?

SquirrelFan · 01/04/2022 15:38

@Blueslate I don't think it's the saddest thing ever! It's very practical. There is absolutely no guarantee that you will find someone who makes you feel that way, and even less chance that he will fancy you back! I think mutual physical attraction is limited to the very lucky or very attractive.

Ringmaster27 · 01/04/2022 15:40

Yes.
The attraction was instant. I met him in a bar I used to work at, and before we even knew each other’s names we were giving each other “fuck me eyes” across the bar as my boss described it Blush
Still the same. He looks at me a certain way, and that’s it. Clothes are coming off in minutes few Grin

SquirrelFan · 01/04/2022 15:41

Also, the only people I've ever strongly fancied were entirely unsuitable - mostly druggies - maybe that's the smell that does it for me!?

NameChangeCity123 · 01/04/2022 15:49

@maras2

Absolutely. He's gorgeous. We met when he was 19 and fancied him straight away. He's now 72 and I feel just the same. Smile
Aw this is lovely! I fancy my husband too but we've only been together 7 years so hope we are as lucky as you