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Relationships

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Original poster

Do you fancy your husband/partner?

298 replies

cellardoorr · 01/04/2022 10:35

I'm not sure I ever have really, not in the way I'd like. Sounds awful I know!

I've never had that "just what to jump on you" feeling 😅 I really wish I had though! Am I missing out?

OP posts:

Crazykatie · 04/04/2022 19:00

Cuddling does it for me, wether it ends up with sex or not it’s so comforting and for me essential.

GirlMum93 · 04/04/2022 19:07

Never had the I want to jump on him feeling but he is attractive to me yes

NorthGirlie · 04/04/2022 19:22

No, I don’t fancy mine which is why I ended the marriage a year ago after over 20 years. I couldn’t go near him so lived in a sexless marriage for over a decade.
I’d been naive and inexperienced when we got together and even though I enjoyed days out with him (obviously coming from a home where I never went anywhere) I never had that ‘feeling’ - over the years it was obvious that I had made a massive mistake. And, yes, someone else turned my head but is unavailable.
I feel cheated out of happiness.

donesomethingterrible · 04/04/2022 23:31

Nope....haven't done for years if I'm honest. Him going on about how long it's been since we last had sex just makes it worse.
At first yes I found him attractive, but never had the urges that I hear others speak of. I feel really sad about that.

pleaseletmesleeptonight · 05/04/2022 00:02

I don't at all. I did in the early days, but I'm tired and worn down, I'm away for a weekend with him soon and I think I'd rather be going with a girlfriend. I find him boring and as a result not interested in him sexually.

We've not slept tighter for over 5 years and I don't miss it in the slightest.

I really do need to grow a pair and leave but it's been years wasted thinking about it.

Reading how you all fancy your other halves make me hopeful I'd find myself that real phooooaarrrr feeling again.

totallyoutnumbered · 05/04/2022 00:20

Utterly. He's the most handsome man to me. Gorgeous and kind 🥰

SparkleWhale · 05/04/2022 00:22

I do. I think he's gorgeous.

Charlavail · 05/04/2022 08:29

DH has got more attractive with age. We were kids really when we got together and he's built us an amazing life. Seeing him do well at his job is attractive. Seeing him more confident is attractive. Seeing him with DC is attractive. We nearly broke up a few months ago and even then I could see he was a good looking man. We haven't had sex in forever though (pregnancy and new baby)

Musttryharder2021 · 05/04/2022 16:11

@Chonfox

I admire your honesty Cirelle

I can understand how you ended up if the position you did. I think I would have made the same choice in your shoes. Many settle in order to have children and give them a stable home. It may not be perfect but if you desperately want a child then it's better than the alternative.

Exactly! However, there's an alternative which is respectable such as having a child via a sperm donor and doesn't involve "settling" on a partner

KosherDill · 06/04/2022 14:19

Cirelle's choice provided her children with two loving parents. The sperm donor route doesn't.

Arcadia · 06/04/2022 15:05

@KosherDill

Cirelle's choice provided her children with two loving parents. The sperm donor route doesn't.

Yes, and what if you die?

Solocup · 07/04/2022 00:58

@SparklingLime

What a bizarre series of ultra judgemental posts, *@gannett*. You sound like you’re projecting massively. It’s definitely saying more about yourself than OP or PPs.

@Cirelle, hope you’re ignoring @gannett - bizarre overinvestment.

^^ditto

Lostsoul91 · 07/04/2022 07:38

Yes I do, I was walking our dog and he'd gone to the shop without me knowing, I saw a man in the distance and thought he's a good looking chap, to realise it was my OH.

With my ex I didn't, I used to avoid sex and intimacy at all costs, used to make me cringe the idea of him touching me ect. Wasted 5 year's of my life

NorthGirlie · 07/04/2022 19:30

@Lostsoul91

Yes I do, I was walking our dog and he'd gone to the shop without me knowing, I saw a man in the distance and thought he's a good looking chap, to realise it was my OH.

With my ex I didn't, I used to avoid sex and intimacy at all costs, used to make me cringe the idea of him touching me ect. Wasted 5 year's of my life

I’ve wasted 25 years of my life with my stbx feeling exactly the same way you’ve described.

NorthGirlie · 07/04/2022 19:37

@Lostsoul91

Yes I do, I was walking our dog and he'd gone to the shop without me knowing, I saw a man in the distance and thought he's a good looking chap, to realise it was my OH.

With my ex I didn't, I used to avoid sex and intimacy at all costs, used to make me cringe the idea of him touching me ect. Wasted 5 year's of my life

It was a sexless marriage for over a decade before I ended it. Even when we did do it I got nothing from it - no passion/nothing. Bitter that I stayed in the marriage so long.

lifesabreezenot · 08/04/2022 10:29

@sadbutthe truth - absolutely the same as me. Married to the kindest man in the world who worships the ground I walk on but I have never fancied him. I love and respect him but wish I felt that "butterfly" feeling.

SadButTheTruth · 08/04/2022 11:42

@lifesabreezenot - it’s hard isn’t it? You love them for all that they are and do, and occasionally you think “oh you look nice in that shirt” or when they’re doing something with the kids and you see how loving they are. But you never get that wind knocked out of you feeling where you feel a bit drunk and heady. I’ve only ever had that with the wrongest men - I feel quite irritated at myself about it.

valerianaofficiana · 08/04/2022 18:29

Beauty must indeed be in the eye of the beholder... The sheer volume of women on this thread who fancy the pants off their DHs or DPs is staggering. And yet I can't remember the last time I noticed an attractive man out and about, and I do circulate, furiously 😎.
Beautiful women, here and there, occasionally, but men whom one notices and upon whom eye lingers with appreciation, such a rarity.

Bailey48 · 08/04/2022 18:36

[quote lifesabreezenot]@sadbutthe truth - absolutely the same as me. Married to the kindest man in the world who worships the ground I walk on but I have never fancied him. I love and respect him but wish I felt that "butterfly" feeling.[/quote]
Me too 😢

DrBrennerFan · 08/04/2022 19:08

Never had it with It with mine now I’m just waiting for plans to fall into place.

totallyoutnumbered · 08/04/2022 19:33

@valerianaofficiana

Beauty must indeed be in the eye of the beholder... The sheer volume of women on this thread who fancy the pants off their DHs or DPs is staggering. And yet I can't remember the last time I noticed an attractive man out and about, and I do circulate, furiously 😎. Beautiful women, here and there, occasionally, but men whom one notices and upon whom eye lingers with appreciation, such a rarity.

I literally never fancy anyone either. Definitely not just a "looks" person either. I've talked to conventionally handsome men who open their mouthes and instantly turn me off. It's a wonder quite frankly that my DP ticks all the boxes and some I didn't even know I had. I fancy him to the point of distraction sometimes. Never thought it would happens to me and took until my 40s

2018SoFarSoGreat · 08/04/2022 21:23

@valerianaofficiana

Beauty must indeed be in the eye of the beholder... The sheer volume of women on this thread who fancy the pants off their DHs or DPs is staggering. And yet I can't remember the last time I noticed an attractive man out and about, and I do circulate, furiously 😎. Beautiful women, here and there, occasionally, but men whom one notices and upon whom eye lingers with appreciation, such a rarity.

but what one person finds attractive is very different to someone else - we all like different things. The key is that I find my DH attractive; to me. You might well look and thing 'why' but to you, a tall, large, bald man might meet your criteria.

Each to their own.

valerianaofficiana · 09/04/2022 10:15

Hence beauty being in the eye of the beholder 🤓

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