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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
longcoffeebreak · 27/03/2022 02:10

See if he goes to a golf course tomorrow?

Original poster
BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:14

He’s meant to be in Portugal though

OP posts:
moonbedazzled · 27/03/2022 02:16

Tons of fantastic golf courses in Spain so I can see why they might want to cross the border for a different course. I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet.

Sunshineboo · 27/03/2022 02:17

could you press the alert thing so that it rings and he knows you have seen? then let him
call you.

something weird is going on and you need
to ask him x

MsDogLady · 27/03/2022 02:17

BadDay, does he have any history for lying or dodgy behavior?

SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 27/03/2022 02:22

So since he's been there, has he messaged you or phoned you and said he's in Portugal, as in told you a downright lie?

How close to the border is he? Do you know the golf friend?

LemonViolet · 27/03/2022 02:23

Don’t set any alerts! It notifies him.
DO take screenshots.

Has he outright lied in communications to you today? Or are you not closely in touch whilst he’s away and there’s a possibility they’ve changed their plans as they go along and he’s not updated you because you haven’t spoken/texted.

Original poster
BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:25

I don’t know how to post a photo but he’s a long way from the border. @MsDogLady no form for lying at all

OP posts:
Original poster
BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:26

He told me they got a taxi from faro airport and the hotel is lovely!

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Original poster
BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:28

And sent me a photo of his beer with the pool in the background

OP posts:
Onthedunes · 27/03/2022 02:28

@BadDayForMe

I don’t know how to post a photo but he’s a long way from the border. *@MsDogLady* no form for lying at all
How far from border?
2catsandhappy · 27/03/2022 02:28

I would absolutely be watching his movements tomorrow. Did he imply he was staying in a friends home, not a hotel, when he left?
There may be a perfectly logical, reasonable and simple explanation. Also you could phone the where he is supposed to be, direct to land line, tomorrow.
Innocent until proven guilty though.

FavouritePi · 27/03/2022 02:30

@BadDayForMe

He told me they got a taxi from faro airport and the hotel is lovely!
Well that certainly incriminates him doesn't it?

I'd watch whilst he's away, screen shot everything and confront him when he comes back. If he's up to anything it's not likely confronting him over the phone will do much whilst he's gone. If he's going to do anything, he will.

rosiebl · 27/03/2022 02:30

Holy moly OP. Don't call him and let the cat out of the bag. You need to catch him in the lie. Keep taking screenshots of the movements. Text him in the morning and ask how's the golf? What's his plans? Keep it light. Don't make him suspicious. Follow on the iPhone. Take screenshots regularly.

rosiebl · 27/03/2022 02:32

When he gets home, tell him you want him to hand over his phone immediately. You have enough evidence of the lie to justify the request.

Original poster
BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:33

Just reading back through our messages. He mentions faro airport, not just ‘the airport’
I really wanted to say something but I know from reading on here not to. But now I don’t know what to do. He must be in the hotel as his phone hasn’t moved, just wrong from one side to the other about 3 hours ago

OP posts:
LemonViolet · 27/03/2022 02:33

Watch the map tomorrow, take screenshots as he moves. Wait and see what he says about what he’s doing and where he actually is.

(And for anyone disproving of using the Find My app, you have to consent for others to see you on it - so it’s not an invasion of privacy as he’s consented for OP to be able to see where he is on it.)

Really sorry you’re going through this OP what a worry. What would you want to do if he is cheating?

Onthedunes · 27/03/2022 02:34

If he is found to be lying, I think I'd be needing a short holiday, it's only a few hours away.

FrozZen · 27/03/2022 02:35

If he flew in to Faro (Algarve), it is about 40mins to Spain. Not far at all. The Gibraltar football team play all their matches in Portugal, and Gib is further away from Portugal than Faro is from Spain. 40mins in a cab to drink and eat tapas in Ayamonte isn't far if you spend 5 hours traipsing round a golf course. Just ask him tomorrow.

Original poster
BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:36

I’ll message him I’m the morning and try and get more info. I haven’t stopped shaking.
If he’s cheating then he won’t set foot in this fucking house again.
Thanks everyone, I just needed to tell someone!

OP posts:
Original poster
BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:40

It puts him in benalmadena

OP posts:
Unicorndreams24 · 27/03/2022 02:41

No wonder you're shaking I'd be the same! No need to lie at all, I really
Hope you get to the bottom
Of this xx

nearlyspringyay · 27/03/2022 02:42

My laptop thinks I'm in South Africa, I'm in London. Don't jump to conclusions.

Original poster
BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:43

He would have told me if he moved hotel (and country) I’m trying really hard to think of a logical explanation but there isn’t one.

OP posts:
Unicorndreams24 · 27/03/2022 02:43

Yeh Benalmádena is quite a way from Portugal . He also specifically said faro airport! Have u messaged him?