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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:

Thread gallery

PartyPlan · 27/03/2022 03:19

Good idea DFOD. You could also call the hotel he is at asking for him and see who answers. If he answers and is flustered you will know something is wrong.

Scottishskifun · 27/03/2022 03:21

UK passports are now stamped on arrival to the EU so you can also know that way but it's waiting till he's back.

Ask him what the hotel is like and the name of it......if he gives you a name in Portugal you can call it and ask to be connected to his room.....

ChorleyFMcominginyourears · 27/03/2022 03:26

Do you know the work friend that hes meant to be with at all?

icedancerlenny · 27/03/2022 03:28

People are far too over dramatic. Hire a private investigator?! Really!

I’m going away with a friend in the summer. I didn’t book it. I think we are going to Spain. We may be going to Portugal. I didn’t pay much attention. She sent me a couple of places to stay and I looked at which looked nicest but I couldn’t tell you where they are. Just calm down. Sure, keep an eye on it and see if he goes to a golf course, but some of these responses are ridiculous.

(And this is from someone who did have a serial cheating husband)

Hmum0fthree · 27/03/2022 03:35

@BadDayForMe Watch him tomorrow and then ask him to send a pic of himself outside the hotel, surely if theres nothing to hide he won't mind!

Dasher789 · 27/03/2022 03:37

I don't get why he would lie though, not like you will bump into him

Totalwasteofpaper · 27/03/2022 03:37

Agree he flew into malaga and that this doesn't look good.

I'd try and do a WhatsApp video tomorrow and see the Hotel room (ie show me your room! Is it nice?). I'd ask if it was nice and what the name of the hotel was
I would then check online if the room decor matches and call reception at the named hotel as others suggested.

maeveiscurious · 27/03/2022 03:42

What if he isn't cheating and just staying in a very expensive hotel and didn't want to share that

EIisheva · 27/03/2022 03:43

Faro to Benalmedana ? No that really doesn’t make sense at all. It’s like flying to london and ending up in Aberdeen.

Hope your Iphone is W rong op. Fingers crossed.

Ribenery · 27/03/2022 03:52

Wouldn't he have been alerted when you switched on find my iPhone? My phone asked me that. Do you share an applie id?

BlankTimes · 27/03/2022 03:53

Be careful about questioning him OP, he'll notice the change in tone of your usual messages.

If he's suspicious, he may turn the find my phone off, then you won't know anything.

Just keep all your messages normal and light and keep monitoring his movements and taking screenshots.

It may not be as dodgy as you think.

SaveWaterDrinkGin · 27/03/2022 03:53

Just ask him?

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/03/2022 03:56

Do you know the colleague or partner of the person he is supposed to have gone with? Or where they live to see if the stories corroborate?

Testingprof · 27/03/2022 04:07

@nearlyspringyay

My laptop thinks I'm in South Africa, I'm in London. Don't jump to conclusions.

That could be down to a variety of reasons. Find my iPhone uses known wifi locations along with the masts you are connected to to verify where you are. It be can be up to a mile out (from my own watching)

HotDiggityHot · 27/03/2022 04:07

Don't ask him. Just monitor his movements and as pp mentioned, screen shot it. I think he is lying because he most likely had plenty of opportunities to say he was going to Spain from Faro or whatever the reason why he is in Spain if he wasn't doing something dodgy. Cheaters never give the right details. It's always I'm going to the pub in town with friends and next thing you'll find him dining at a fancy restaurant with another woman on the the opposite side of town so you can't find him.

HotDiggityHot · 27/03/2022 04:09

Btw I'm so sorry for this gut wrenching feeling and I hope all of us are wrong and there's an innocent explanation or some glitch.

1forAll74 · 27/03/2022 04:15

Why would he be cheating if he has gone away to play golf with male friends.. All this tracking and suspicions of men when they go on a break is really paranoid.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/03/2022 04:22

There are weird things abroad. For example, Canada has its towers inland and the USA on the coast/border in certain areas. Which means your phone thinks you're in the States and you're in Canada. However, that's right on the border, which this isn't.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/03/2022 04:22

@1forAll74

Why would he be cheating if he has gone away to play golf with male friends.. All this tracking and suspicions of men when they go on a break is really paranoid.

She wasn't suspicious. Until something suspicious happened. Which is a logical time to, you know, become suspicious.

Clymene · 27/03/2022 04:26

Find my iPhone is nothing like a laptop's locator device.

And @icedancerlenny - he told her he had flown into Faro airport, not that he can't tell the difference between Portugal and Spain

Joystir59 · 27/03/2022 04:27

I hope it's all innocent and cleared up soon OP.

Soulstirring · 27/03/2022 04:33

Absolutely take screen shots as evidence. When is he due home OP, it will be interesting to see which airport he travels from. Can you ask his flight number?

FleeceNavidadfromtheSheep · 27/03/2022 04:36

Did he take his golf clubs?

AnaMRT · 27/03/2022 04:37

This is so strange! Why would he lie about which country he’s in.. I hope there’s a good explanation for this.

PearPickingPorky · 27/03/2022 04:48

Has he taken any photos with his friend in them?

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