My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

[BadDayForMe]

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

Phone the hotel to talk to him...if he is there just say you couldn't get through on his phone.

@rosiebl

When he gets home, tell him you want him to hand over his phone immediately. You have enough evidence of the lie to justify the request.

What the actual fuck?

He's not 12. I'd tell you to fuck right off.

@nearlyspringyay

My laptop thinks I'm in South Africa, I'm in London. Don't jump to conclusions.

This! I hope it is wrong for your sake! I’d probably tell him in a jokey way and tell him to send you a photo of a local Portuguese landmark to prove it! One with him in it!

This sounds so stressful, sorry OP. I bet he just knows about golf courses in Portugal as he's been before or something so easier to answeri any questions if you ask. Doesn't look good but hoping all is ok

Is he particularly know for my detail? My DH is the most laid back chap you could meet. Absolutely the sort to not pay any attention to details and just see flying into Faro and then go “off to Portugal”.

Unless Spain has some deep dark past for (but if that was the case frankly I’m surprised you were not worried him going to Portugal cause they ain’t that far apart) I wouldn’t be worried and just ask my partner.

How are you doing op? Have you found anymore out? Hoping there's an innocent explanation for your sake

I don’t think pp understand how location services work. This isn’t like when your two-factor ID thinks you’re logging in from Coventry when you’re actually in Leeds as this is an approximation based on your IP address.

Find My iPhone and the like use cellular coverage to get a GPS location, the same as a sat nav. As long as you have location services enabled and are in an area with good cellular coverage it is accurate to within metres. PP who find theirs are wrong don’t have location services enabled.

@Onthedunes

Don't tell him about the location, it gives him the opportunity to come up with an excuse such as overbooking at one resort.

Just get a PI based in Costa del Sol, many English speaking ones there, you know where he is.

Yeah. 'Just' hire a private investigator in another country, on a Sunday, when he's only there a couple of days.

Batshit.

Ask for some lovely photos of him and his buddy on the golf course. Do you know anything about his friend he's supposedly there with? Is he on facebook? Can you do a little stalking?

Do your have a device at home eg laptop or iPad that your husband may have logged into Gmail or any other Google service on?

If so, go to Google timeline and if he's got location history on, then you will be able to see a history of where he's been.

www.google.co.uk/maps/timeline

Info about it here: support.google.com/maps/answer/6258979?hl=en-GB&co=GENIE.Platform%3DDesktop

So many of these posts are insane.

If something like this happened to me, with my partner I ordinarily trusted, I would ask him.

I would see no need to jump to conclusions or play games.

And if something is amiss, I'd assume I could work that out from his reaction.

It seems like the oddest of lies to tell to cover your tracks, that you are in Portugal rather than Spain. Why would that make it easier to cover the tracks of an affair?

We all use Find My all the time. It’s 100% always accurate, and recalibrates every 2 minutes, sometimes more quickly.

As for ‘hire a PI’ - FFS, get real.

Some posters either love drama (even though this is someone’s actual life) or are completely batshit.

Get a private investigator? WTF!

Granted the location is odd but a normal person would try and find out some more info or have a conversation before jumping to that extreme

I'm afraid FindMy will not be incorrect. Yes, it can get stuck in a previous location, but that is not what the OP is saying here. Not only is it showing a location in Benalmadena at the current time, it's showing him moving around along streets and between distinct premises. That's where his phone is, and for now the working assumption is, he's with his phone. I'm sorry OP.

Whatever you do, do not confront him before he's home and you've gone through his phone - the tactic described above of going to the loo is a good one. If he gets the chance to delete evidence it will drive you crazy going forwards. You need to know what's going on.

For those saying why lie about unimportant things, it's what dishonest people do. They over embroider the truth, as if to say, " Look at me and how honest I'm being. I'm telling you more than you asked so I couldn't possibly be lying". It's a thing detectives look out for and it's a sign of a guilty conscience.

In this case, drawing attention to "Faro" airport catches my attention.

It's also always possible of course if he tells the truth that OP might say, "Ooh, I heard yesterday x and y are in Benalmadena this week. (Mentions hotel next door to his). Which hotel is you're in again?". If he lies, he won't run the risk, however slim, of having people he knows looking out for him.

I'm sorry you're going through this OP, try to stay calm and focused and get your ducks in a row. Tears and anger can come later if required. Good luck. x

This is an odd one isn’t it? I don’t know much about find my iPhone but I hope you get to the bottom of it. If I were you I’d say nothing and watch it for another month or so after he’s home to see if there are any other inconsistencies.

If he is using a British passport you could see if it is stamped with a Spanish entry when he is home. I think they are changing this in May but they are stamping British passports at the moment.

Lots of screenshots

@bookish83

My ipad says I am in London. I'm in England but the North!

Then you’ve disabled or not permitted location services and your device is using your IP address to approximate your location. If you enabled location services in Find My iPhone it would be accurate to within a couple of metres.

Me and dh use FMiP all the time too. We have drinks / food ready for each other when we arrive home. It also allows him to track me after work so he knows when to be outside waiting as we commute together. We also use it to check when dd is home. Ive never known it not be accurate.

Id have assumed he said portugal because he has golfed there before so it wouldn't raise suspicions.

I really hope there is an explanation.

Hey op, firstly I hope you're ok.

Do you know his return flight details?
When he is due back?

If you download plane finder and click on your airport he is flying into, you can check on the day he's due home for the list of flights.
I'm betting there will be no Faro but will be a Malaga.

You can play the game with him, let him feed you lies then turn up at the airport when the Malaga flight arrives and see wtf he's up to and with who ❤️

@mnnewbie111

This sounds so stressful, sorry OP. I bet he just knows about golf courses in Portugal as he's been before or something so easier to answeri any questions if you ask. Doesn't look good but hoping all is ok

They have golf courses in Spain, why would he feel the need to pretend to go to one he's been to before?

Playing golf and being with another woman aren't mutually exclusive. Photos of golf courses prove nothing at all

@pompomseverywhere I have never had an issue with find my iphone in all the years I’ve used mine, so from personal experience I would 💯 trust the app.

Think about it, she can even see him walking along the beach and back to hotel, the accuracy is not what’s in question. Everything else seems to be in check with the app. How can a grown man confuse two different countries??

I suppose it depends on his usual behaviour, DH often goes to completely different places to where he says but would mention it when he got home when I asked about the trip away but probably wouldn't mention while he was there.

My laptop says I'm in a location 5 hours from where I actually am, which amounts to across the country I'm in. I hope there is a reasonable explanation. Don't jump to "change the locks" just yet.