Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
speakout · 27/03/2022 06:48

Do you know the friend OP?

ZenNudist · 27/03/2022 06:48

Why lie, does he think Portugal is a more believable golfing location?

ApolloandDaphne · 27/03/2022 06:51

Location can be very wrong. When my DH goes to London he sometimes looks like he is in France!

bookish83 · 27/03/2022 06:54

My ipad says I am in London. I'm in England but the North!

SonicBroom · 27/03/2022 06:54

How much do you know about the friend?

Norwolf · 27/03/2022 06:55

Find my iphone is never wrong. Technology doesn’t lie, people do. Weird how some people are trying to twist the narration to give his explanation room.

@BadDayForMe don’t let him know you know, play along with whatever game he is playing. When he gets back, you will have known by then. Be patient with it all. And take as much evidence as you can to help u with your decision. Screenshots, bank statements etc.

Tuaca · 27/03/2022 06:58

I don't understand what the point would be of lying? I think it will be okay OP

Tuaca · 27/03/2022 06:58

I mean about the location

ElbowsandArses · 27/03/2022 06:58

See, I wouldn’t think twice about this. I’d just think he was a plank and hadn’t paid attention to friends’ plans about where they were going and didn’t see the need to tell you he was in Spain because it’s no big deal. If he told me a load of shit when he got home that would be different but I wouldn’t jump to conclusions where you are, OP. But then I trust my DH completely.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 27/03/2022 07:06

Does he have history with someone who lives in Spain? I can't see the reason to lie about the country if he was with someone else, it doesn't make sense. There's no need to lie about anything if he was meeting another woman abroad

Hopefully there's an inncent explanation.

pompomseverywhere · 27/03/2022 07:06

@Norwolf

Find my iphone is never wrong. Technology doesn’t lie, people do. Weird how some people are trying to twist the narration to give his explanation room.

@BadDayForMe don’t let him know you know, play along with whatever game he is playing. When he gets back, you will have known by then. Be patient with it all. And take as much evidence as you can to help u with your decision. Screenshots, bank statements etc.

There's loads of posters saying their own location is often wrong
Goodbyetowinter · 27/03/2022 07:08

The Find My app is really accurate although you can get a half hour delay while it recalibrates. He's in Benalmadena. Have you ever caught him out in lying before? Just keep watching and don't let him know what you've found out. It will be interesting to see what airport he flies back from and what he says when he gets home. I'm really sorry for this stress OP.

BlueyandBingo · 27/03/2022 07:12

Can you see a golf course at the hotel??

Also even if he was cheating why would he lie about the country? Surely it is much easier to tell a half truth- Spain would have been just as convincing for a golf holiday and you would be less likely to be suspicious if you saw the passport stamp….

Fraaahnces · 27/03/2022 07:14

I would absolutely trust the app. If his phone had been stolen, he wouldn’t have called you with it.

Don’t let on that you suspect anything. Don’t be tempted to locate the hotel on the app and call them. Screenshot location and write down where he says he is. Also use this time to access credit card and bank statements, and his laptop if you can. (Hopefully you can log into it and his messages, emails and WhatsApp, etc are synced to it.)
If you discover tangible evidence this way, you can call the hotel and get someone to go to his room requesting that he urgently call his wife.
Otherwise, you will have to wait until he gets home, and while he’s unpacking, let him think your battery’s dead and you need to call someone. Take his phone into the toilet and lock the door. Go through messages, apps, banking and cc details on his phone. Screenshot and send to your phone. If you find anything dodgy, tell him not to unpack his bags.

TwoDaysOff · 27/03/2022 07:14

Passport stamp a good call!

Whydidimarryhim · 27/03/2022 07:14

Do you know who he’s gone away with? Ask for a photo of them together on the golf course.

Footballsundays6777 · 27/03/2022 07:17

We were in Spain last week and our passports weren’t stamped either on entry or exit… so passport stamp might not be any use.

I’d just call him and explain what’s happened re the AirPods and tell him his iPhone says he’s in Spain. Yours is the truth, putting him on the spot (on FaceTime!!) you’ll be able to see if his is or not

GoodnightJude1 · 27/03/2022 07:17

It sounds very odd but hopefully there’s a reasonable explanation OP 💐

hellcatspangle · 27/03/2022 07:22

The find my phone app won't be incorrect.

Does he travel much OP? Is it possible his mate invited him to "a golfing holiday in Portugal" and the mate booked everything but the plans changed to Spain? Your DH is a bit half soaked so genuinely thought they'd gone to Portugal (clutching at straws here)

Have you googled the hotel to find out if it's on a golf course? Do you know the mate he's allegedly gone with?

If he was cheating, lying about countries wouldn't be helpful. He could still say he was golfing with a mate and you'd be none the wiser.

I assume you'll be speaking to him first thing today and asking more questions about his whereabouts.

Somertime · 27/03/2022 07:25

When he's home look at his passport. Now we aren't in the EU we get our passports stamped and that will confirm the country.

autienotnaughty · 27/03/2022 07:25

When is he back?
I would screen shot location.
If you have his hotel details you could ring and ask for him.
If you have access to his emails you could check flights etc.
I wouldn't have it out while he is there I would wait for him to come back.

Footballsundays6777 · 27/03/2022 07:28

@Somertime it’s not a fail safe re passports, none of ours were stamped for entry / exit into Spain - we got back last week!

Lifeispassingby · 27/03/2022 07:29

I agree it is possible that DH got confused about where he was going but then as he told you that he landed at faro airport and drove to the hotel then that is potentially a lie. You need to make a list of questions that you need answering first before you confront him so that he can’t produce a ‘viable’ Story if he is cheating x

SW1amp · 27/03/2022 07:33

@pompomseverywhere

There are people saying their locations are wrong on apps other than FindMy

FindMy is never wrong in my experience
Plenty of my other apps are, including Google maps and Twitter

MarianosOnHisWay · 27/03/2022 07:35

All those people saying “why would he lie about the location even if he is cheating?”; it just adds another layer of deception doesn’t it, it just makes a cheater feel like they’ve covered their tracks extra well. I saw a thread on here where a poster’s husband was cheating, he was away with work and he’d given her the location, name of the hotel, even room number etc so she was able to track him down. All the reply posters were saying “why would he give his exact location if he was cheating?” So this is like the opposite! That guy was obviously too cocky, thinking it doesn’t matter if I tell my wife the real hotel, she’ll never suspect and never catch me anyway. Whereas this guy in Spain/Portugal obviously feels he needs an extra layer of deception to cover himself. Ironic that it’s that which has very possibly scuppered him.
All the best, OP.