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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
BarbaraofSeville · 27/03/2022 04:48

@EIisheva

Faro to Benalmedana ? No that really doesn’t make sense at all. It’s like flying to london and ending up in Aberdeen.

Hope your Iphone is W rong op. Fingers crossed.

Not quite. Faro and Malaga are 4 hours apart, London and Aberdeen more like 10.

It could be that planes are diverted to Malaga if there is a serious problem on the flight or weather/other issues at Faro/with Portuguese air traffic control. However, it is unlikely that this would happen and the DH not mention it to the OP.

If his phone is showing him wandering around bars/restaurants in Benalmadena then it's likely that's where he is, unless his phone has been stolen of course. But that seems a strange location for a golfing holiday, most of the courses are a lot further west, between Marbella and Gibraltar.

OP you say he went 'golfing with a work friend' Does he normally play golf with this friend? Did he take his clubs? What is his story about who went? They normally go in groups, you see them at at the airport.

OP can you see a beer brand on the glass or beermat in the photo? They usually come in branded glasses, on the Costa del Sol at least, so if it's a Spanish brand, you've 'evidence' there that he's not where he says he was.

BottleBrushTree · 27/03/2022 04:50

Do the old fashioned thing and find out what hotel he says he’s staying at, and call reception and ask to be put through to his room.

Zonder · 27/03/2022 05:01

Is it kind of odd that he specified that he had arrived at Faro airport? Wouldn't it be normal to just say the airport? Malaga airport is up the road from Benalmadena.

I hope you've managed to sleep and that there's a harmless explanation.

Sally090807 · 27/03/2022 05:14

Why didn’t he just tell you he was golfing in Spain, I don’t understand the need to lie about the country whether he is golfing or cheating.

Emelene · 27/03/2022 05:15

Very strange. It’s odd he suggested the Find My app if he was hiding something?
I hope you’re ok OP and manage some rest. Flowers

Riseholme · 27/03/2022 05:15

I'd meet him at the airport when he returns.
As a nice surprise.

Riseholme · 27/03/2022 05:16

@Emelene

Very strange. It’s odd he suggested the Find My app if he was hiding something? I hope you’re ok OP and manage some rest. Flowers
He didn't, their ds did.
Cervinia · 27/03/2022 05:18

@LemonViolet

Personally I’ve always found Find My quite accurate. We use it a lot because we work very different hours, useful to see if one/other is still at workplace or not before we call etc. When I was in London and DP in Chicago I could see if he was in the apartment or out and about. I did a trip to Spain without him he could see if I was in the villa or not. Sometimes it glitches but almost always very accurate for me.

Lying about location for cheating doesn’t make sense though I agree. Why would you bother.

Me too. And these days I can even tell if my family are cycling or driving based on the speed of movement. Even five years ago, it accurately showed DD at her correct location in Africa. Right now I’m correctly showing in the hotel in Italy where I’m staying.
Grasping · 27/03/2022 05:20

@1forAll74

Why would he be cheating if he has gone away to play golf with male friends.. All this tracking and suspicions of men when they go on a break is really paranoid.
Your innocence astounds me
MrsHugget · 27/03/2022 05:29

I really hope all is well. I've had location for wacky but to tell you Portugal and not mention touring about is a tad worrying.

Grasping · 27/03/2022 05:35

I know that horrible gut feeling you must feeling right now. You know it doesn’t add up but you’re in shock and confused.

I’m so sorry but it doesn’t look good

imamumgetmeoutofhere · 27/03/2022 05:47

Just take screenshots of all his movements op. And see if you can do a location finder on the photo he sent you. Don't raise suspicion

pompomseverywhere · 27/03/2022 05:55

@Flippy87

I’d take regular screenshots tomorrow and tonight OP of location. Also do you have access to bank account? You might be able to see his recent transactions if it’s a joint account and they will tell you if in Spain or Portugal?

Id also check the flight time and airport to see if it makes sense, check for flights to Gibraltar or Malaga from the airport he left from at around the right time (and also check to see if there even is a viable one to Faro!)

Two great ideas here
AlJalilia · 27/03/2022 06:12

Check your bank account. See where he’s spending money.

PeggyGa · 27/03/2022 06:14

Find my phone will only be wrong if his phone isn’t with him

BrokenCopper · 27/03/2022 06:16

I am sorry op Flowers

I found out being cheated the same way.

Marmite17 · 27/03/2022 06:16

Even if he was cheating cannot see how it would make sense to lie about his location.
In the pre mobile era you could just phone hotel and ask to be put through to room if there was some kind of domestic emergency.
Struggling to think why you would need to now.
Whole situation sounds strange.

Febrier · 27/03/2022 06:19

Could you ask him what hotel he is staying at?
I often don’t know where my DP is staying and then suddenly realise it’d be a wise idea if I did. Or he mentions something about the hotel/breakfast/room and I look it up on trip advisor.

Pleasebeafleabite · 27/03/2022 06:26

I would LTB just for ending up in Benalmadena tbf. No wonder he said Portugal

Netaporter · 27/03/2022 06:29

@BadDayForMe do you share a family apple account? Can you the photos he’s taken? If you do, click on one he’s taken at the weekend to check the location. If you don’t share an Apple ID then does he have an iPad/MacBook that you can log into to check the photos/messages etc? I think at this point it’s justifiable for you to know one way or another. I really hope it’s an iPhone glitch and the location is stuck after it’s last known location on the flight over?. FWIW, the ‘find my’ has no idea where my MacBook is, (it’s next to me) nor ‘Anna’s iPods’ I don’t know anyone called Anna 🤔

theotherfossilsister · 27/03/2022 06:30

I logged onto a friend's phone in another country as needed to check something and had broken my screen. Google timeline thought I was there for ages. Sometimes it would have both so it would think I'd got between Edinburgh and Carcassonne in twenty five minutes walk or whatever.

QuentininQuarantino · 27/03/2022 06:32

At the moment, you still need passenger locator forms for Spain, so there’s no way he could have got confused, he knew where he was flying to in order to prepare all the COVID docs. Also, getting a Portuguese taxi to take you to a hotel in another country 4 hours away would negate any difference in flight prices, so I doubt he flew into Faro over Malaga to get a cheap flight.

Keepitonthedownlow · 27/03/2022 06:36

Sounds odd, hope you're doing ok OP

Pointlesspolice · 27/03/2022 06:42

Why would he lie about location even if cheating? I once thought my husband was skiing in France and he was actually in Italy …I genuinely didn’t give it any thought.
Have you any other reason to be suspicious from previous behaviour?

Holothane · 27/03/2022 06:42

Different scenarios but I temper when my ex had drunken bender his passport was missing I was worried sick he could have been anywhere he ended up in Belgium he told me weeks later. No tracking stuff then.