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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My AirPods are where I thought they were. My husband isn’t!!

999 replies

BadDayForMe · 27/03/2022 02:07

I’ve been reading mumsnet for years but not made an account until now. I can’t talk to anyone in RL and really need some advice please
My DH is on a golfing trip with a work friend in Portugal. I though I would do some housework today and was looking for my AirPods. I couldn’t find them so mentioned to DS that I didn’t want to spend time looking in case I’d left them at work.
He suggested I look on find my iPhone as that would show them. I’ve never used it before but once I reset the Apple ID I got in and saw they were in the house. ( I searched the kitchen and found them behind the pot I drop my keys and stuff in. )
I noticed that this app showed my husbands phone so clicked on it just for a nose
He’s not in Portugal. He’s in Spain!!!!!
Why the fuck would he lie about what country he he’s in unless there is something seriously dodgy going on. I watched him go from a hotel to a
Restaurant, then along the seafront, then back to the same hotel. It can’t be wrong. I can’t sleep. Is he with another woman?
Wtf do I do?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
lozengeoflove · 27/03/2022 17:22

I like the FaceTime suggestion too only doubt that he would pick up.

OLLIE2011 · 27/03/2022 17:22

Cancel his passport, he won't be able to lie about where he his then! Sorry you are being put through this.

seensome · 27/03/2022 17:24

Check his wallet/suitcase for receipts when he arrives back.

northernlady2904 · 27/03/2022 17:25

I'd be flying to Spain and walking in to the hotel and confronting him there and then

Boatingforthestars · 27/03/2022 17:25

@lozengeoflove

I like the FaceTime suggestion too only doubt that he would pick up.
But what would facetime prove, you'll see a background and possibly a room, doesn't mean he is or isn't where he says he is
DrSbaitso · 27/03/2022 17:25

@OLLIE2011

Cancel his passport, he won't be able to lie about where he his then! Sorry you are being put through this.
What? How do you cancel someone else's passport?
NewBuildLurker · 27/03/2022 17:26

Ask him to grab a magnet at the airport!

LabMix · 27/03/2022 17:26

@OLLIE2011

Cancel his passport, he won't be able to lie about where he his then! Sorry you are being put through this.
Confused how do you think passports work..?
bellalou1234 · 27/03/2022 17:28

Awful for you op. You're doing amazing holding it together x

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 27/03/2022 17:29

@OLLIE2011

Cancel his passport, he won't be able to lie about where he his then! Sorry you are being put through this.
WTF 🤣
Bravissima · 27/03/2022 17:29

If he's on the crashed plane you'd know soon enough and if he isn't his phone is still good. Nothing changes because you have the flight number.

😂😂😂😂

TabithaTittlemouse · 27/03/2022 17:30

@OLLIE2011

Cancel his passport, he won't be able to lie about where he his then! Sorry you are being put through this.
Are you drunk?
Hope90x · 27/03/2022 17:30

@DiamondCushion is right. All the people suggesting OP send a text or call him have obviously never dealt with a man desperate for things to unravel only on HIS terms.

Don't text him OP. Keep a note of the individual pieces of evidence you have and confront him face to face when he returns. Let him do most of the talking and only point out further lies in his story when he's finishes.

Like a PP suggested I would turn up at the airport, not to confront but rather to stay in the sidelines and see who he arrives with. Another thing to question him about if he arrives with OW and his "new version" of the story doesnt involve her either.

When you send a text or make a phone call you are only giving him time to really think through a good cover story and get others on-board with his lie.

Sorry you're going through this OP. I had remained hopeful until your update where he had told you he was playing golf while you watched him move around somewhere entirely different. 💐

Bravissima · 27/03/2022 17:31

@northernlady2904

I'd be flying to Spain and walking in to the hotel and confronting him there and then
WOULD YOU THOUGH
My AirPods are where I thought they were.  My husband isn’t!!
Lurking9to5 · 27/03/2022 17:32

Obviously you cannot cancel somebody else's passport.

I'd just wait til he gets back, see if any more clues are let slip in the next few days.

Have you talked to your friend OP?

MrsLargeEmbodied · 27/03/2022 17:34

i agree with the vpn possibility

BeHappy91818 · 27/03/2022 17:34

Do you know where his friend lives?

If it’s not far would you be brave enough to park down the road and see if you can see them go in and out?

OrangeBlossomsinthesun · 27/03/2022 17:35

@CheesePlantMurderer

Totally normal to fly into faro for parts of Spain.

But I think I'm missing more...must practice mning

But you wouldn't fly into Faro to visit Benalmadena, it's about 4 hours away. You'd fly into Málaga.
TabithaTittlemouse · 27/03/2022 17:35

@MrsLargeEmbodied

i agree with the vpn possibility
VPNs don’t go for coastal walks.
DeathWinsAGolfish · 27/03/2022 17:36

@BadDayForMe I've just checked the next 24 hr arrivals for Bristol,
Sadly none from Faro, but two from Malaga which serves the Costa del Sol / Benelmadena.
Sorry. Sad

BeHappy91818 · 27/03/2022 17:36

I think it’s also a good idea to wait at the airport… you will be able to see who he arrives with from a distance.

If you can’t do it, would a friend? I’d do it for a friend if needed.

Lurking9to5 · 27/03/2022 17:36

Agree with @Hope90x there is no point giving him a headsup and 24 hours to construct a plausible explanation of why he was in Spain not Portugal.

You know two things op. When you confront him face to face with the first, ie, that he was in Spain, he won't know at that point that you also know his friend was at home taking a picture of his wife and DC for mother's day.

sausagesandchamp · 27/03/2022 17:36

It's pretty obvious he's in Spain, not Portugal. The crucial part is who is he with and what is he doing. Are there golf courses near his location? And I can't think of any way to see his company except turning up (I'd probably hide!) at the airport. It's one of your last and only chances to get firm evidence.

Tonight you can see where he gets dinner. But all else he will happily lie his way out of.

RoundGlass · 27/03/2022 17:37

Really hope you get some answers OP, you must be so confused right now.

anotherbloodyyearofcovid · 27/03/2022 17:37

Don't call, face time or message him while he's away.

You definitely want to be face to face when you ask him questions or for an explanation so you can see his reaction and facial expressions. Catching him off guard will give you all the information you need, be it good or bad.

If you pre-warn him of your suspicions he'll have time to cover tracks and make excuses. If there are any tracks to cover.

So sorry you are going through this OP. I hope it turns out well and your fears are unfounded.