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Original poster

ExH wants DS to share a room with him and his gf on holiday

258 replies

VivaVegas · 22/10/2021 15:47

To give some background I have a very acrimonious relationship with him: he had an affair with a colleague, lying, gaslighting etc. Now lives with her so I wasn't going crazy!

Whenever he doesn't get his own way it's always me that's unreasonable and he always plays the victim.

He wants to take DS abroad with his 'partner' next year, DS will be 14.5. He thinks it's ok for them to all share the same room. They did it this year and I didn't realise, I was quite shocked to be honest. It was in this country and only for a few days so he didn't have to get consent. He's asked for my consent this time as it's overseas.

I've said I think it's unacceptable for DS to share a room with his dad and another woman for 7-10 days and that he needs to get an apartment or a partitioned room so DS has some privacy.

Apparently this is unreasonable and makes the holiday too expensive. It will be my fault that DS doesn't get to go abroad if I refuse to back down.

He's just come back from a trip abroad for just him and her so the lack of money/cost side doesn't wash. But obviously fits with playing the victim and making me feel like I'm in the wrong as usual.

If I was to go away with my partner and DS I wouldn't dream of the 3 of us sharing one room.

Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
beautifulview · 23/10/2021 15:00

It’s gross. Your poor son

Bonsaibreaker · 23/10/2021 15:14

It’s gross. Your poor son

I forgot its half term.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 23/10/2021 15:17

Gosh @SleepingBunnies21 what's your agenda? If anyone is being aggressive and offensive, it's you.

Flowerpowwer6 · 23/10/2021 15:33

@Bonsaibreaker

They are your kids though. The dynamics are totally different. You live together on a daily basis. Share the same loo and bathroom... wake up and see each other in PJ'S. This is normal because they are your kids

I would imagine DS shares a bathroom with his dad and gf when stays at his fathers home. I would also think they have likely seen each other in pyjamas.
Didn't the OP say that DS had already shared a room with them on holiday last year or have I mixed up my threads?

So what's your point? It's still not right. Sharing a bathroom is not the same as someone's personal space is it? Your neighbour may use your loo.... but not your bedroom and sleep in the same room. There's nothing wrong with seeing anyone in PJS that what I stated however its not the same as sleeping in the same room.

Clearly your being obtuse. There's reasons why you don't share a bedroom with your own child at 15 compared to 2 or 3. If you can't see that... we will leave it here as it seems its falling on deaf ears.

Lweji · 23/10/2021 15:43

Tbh, I'd think the female partner would feel less comfortable than the teenage son.

Lweji · 23/10/2021 15:45

There's reasons why you don't share a bedroom with your own child at 15 compared to 2 or 3.

For a fairly short period, my 15 year old son felt more comfortable in bed than his. It was fine. We just slept. Also, it's a very wide bed.
But not all teen boys are the same.

This issue should be up to the boy.

Bonsaibreaker · 23/10/2021 15:46

Clearly your being obtuse. There's reasons why you don't share a bedroom with your own child at 15 compared to 2 or 3. If you can't see that... we will leave it here as it seems its falling on deaf ears.

What is the reason that for a short holiday you wouldn't share a room with your own child?

aSofaNearYou · 23/10/2021 16:18

Clearly your being obtuse. There's reasons why you don't share a bedroom with your own child at 15 compared to 2 or 3. If you can't see that... we will leave it here as it seems its falling on deaf ears.

There is - full time. Teenagers generally benefit from private space to explore their individuality and changing bodies, but we're talking about a holiday, not all the time. A lot of us just don't agree that it's a problem for that length of time. There's a lot of "if you can't see that..." on this thread, which is basically just a cop out of having to actually explain your rationale.

Bonsaibreaker · 23/10/2021 16:22

I think Flowerpowwer6 is Sleepingbunnies 2.0 Hmm

SleepingBunnies21 · 23/10/2021 18:18

@Bonsaibreaker

I think Flowerpowwer6 is Sleepingbunnies 2.0 Hmm
Clearly the only explanation for more than one person disagreeing with you.

(In spite of numerous posters in this thread saying this situation is inappropriate etc).

SleepingBunnies21 · 23/10/2021 18:19

@Lweji

There's reasons why you don't share a bedroom with your own child at 15 compared to 2 or 3.

For a fairly short period, my 15 year old son felt more comfortable in bed than his. It was fine. We just slept. Also, it's a very wide bed.
But not all teen boys are the same.

This issue should be up to the boy.

Bed sharing with one (?) parent, without their (unrelated to teen) partner there; is not the situation being debated in this thread.
SleepingBunnies21 · 23/10/2021 18:20

@Lweji

Tbh, I'd think the female partner would feel less comfortable than the teenage son.
I have no idea why this woman is appare tky OK with this.

She must be as much of a fruit loop as the Dad.

Though they are cheaters and liars so what can you expect.

Bonsaibreaker · 23/10/2021 18:21

It is the absolute assertion that this is wrong for many reasons without actually stating those reasons that you two share in common.
Same rude dismissive posting style too.

SleepingBunnies21 · 23/10/2021 18:25

Same rude dismissive posting style

Grin that's half of Mumsnet.

And I am never rude except in response to rudeness/bullying of an op.

SleepingBunnies21 · 23/10/2021 18:26

Anyway people who start speculating about ord than than poster.who disagrees with them being the same poster tell you everything you need to know about them.

SleepingBunnies21 · 23/10/2021 18:26

It's rather Trump-esque in thinking and approach.

Bonsaibreaker · 23/10/2021 18:27

On this thread it appears there are just two of you.

Look Slerping you have gone to extremes not explained your reasonsings and called posters cheap bastards.

You are not someone I wish to engage with further.
Enjoy your evening.

SleepingBunnies21 · 23/10/2021 18:29

Do they need to be married?

Correct.

That is the definition of a step parent; length of relationship and any shared children are not considered in that definition.

Personally length of relationship is an important factor bit anyway.

Those describing this woman as the teens step mother are incorrect and were clearly only doing so to paint a narrative that suited their opinion on this fucked up little situation; one that could only have been created by a disordered man who cheats on his wife abd mother of his child and gas lights etc etc

SleepingBunnies21 · 23/10/2021 18:32

On this thread it appears there are just two of you.

So you can't count either.

Lol at your "not someone I wish to engage with further" parting shot .... ditto, my dear.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 23/10/2021 18:36

@SleepingBunnies21 I've been watching this thread all day since your nasty personal post directly to me. Luckily MN agreed and saw fit to delete your bile.
You have failed to explain what exactly the issue that so many of us can't see is. You clearly have issues around this, and are evading more questions than a politician.
What is your problem with step parents? Or should I say stepmothers? You've got a real nasty chip on your shoulder about something.

I stand by my post. No one is gaslighting (except maybe you - gaslighting yourself).

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 23/10/2021 18:40

@SleepingBunnies21

Do they need to be married?

Correct.

That is the definition of a step parent; length of relationship and any shared children are not considered in that definition.

Personally length of relationship is an important factor bit anyway.

Those describing this woman as the teens step mother are incorrect and were clearly only doing so to paint a narrative that suited their opinion on this fucked up little situation; one that could only have been created by a disordered man who cheats on his wife abd mother of his child and gas lights etc etc

Oh bore off. You're painting a narrative of what you want this to be, projecting are we? Been cheated on?

Honestly your replies say a lot about you.

SleepingBunnies21 · 23/10/2021 18:47

called posters cheap bastards

Have the ops ex and his partner posted on this thread??!!

I called that charming pair; who choose to take two holidays, one for themselves alone, rather than pay for a room of his own for his teenage son on his holiday with them .... cheap bastards. Their priorities are clear; they are very cheap indeed when it comes to his son.

Absolutely nothing to do with any posters in this thread; but just make stuff up and maybe some sh*t will stick.

JSL52 · 23/10/2021 18:49

@ThisMustBeMyDream

YABVVVVVU.

It's a holiday. For a short period. What's the issue? Surely they all get changed in the bathroom. What other problem can you envisage? This is making an absolute mountain out of a molehill. You're taking out your anger on your son, whom I assume would want to enjoy a holiday.

Stop being ridiculous. This is a non issue.

His dad having sex ?
SleepingBunnies21 · 23/10/2021 18:50

projecting are we? Been cheated on?

And that says everything anyone needs to know about you.

The go-to of lazy, offensive posters - "you must be bitter and projecting".

And you're wrong to boot.

Bore off yourself.

SleepingBunnies21 · 23/10/2021 18:58

[quote ThisMustBeMyDream]@SleepingBunnies21 I've been watching this thread all day since your nasty personal post directly to me. Luckily MN agreed and saw fit to delete your bile.
You have failed to explain what exactly the issue that so many of us can't see is. You clearly have issues around this, and are evading more questions than a politician.
What is your problem with step parents? Or should I say stepmothers? You've got a real nasty chip on your shoulder about something.

I stand by my post. No one is gaslighting (except maybe you - gaslighting yourself).[/quote]
Deletions refer to language used, not opinions.

It was a disgusting post.

In any case op does not appear to be returning and so this debate is rather curcular and pointless.

Swipe left for the next trending thread