DP keeps hurting me (by accident - not domestic abuse)

[Rootvegseason]

I have an old injury. In fairness I acquired it long before I met DP, and for the most part it doesn’t bother me.

DP has a hobby and it massively exacerbates this injury. It leaves me in a lot of pain.

I’ve asked for us not to do it but he says he’ll be careful and it will be fine. It never bloody is fine!

How would you approach this … I feel like if this was a new relationship it might indicate we aren’t right for one another maybe but it’s not, we have a child. Not sure.

What's the hobby?

Stop doing the hobby, its his hobby, cant he do it alone?

Not cycling!

It shows a worrying lack of regard for your health and safety. By him, and also you.

Why have you agreed to participate in the activity?

Stop doing the hobby

Honestly, just stop doing the activity with him. He can still go alone but why should you hurt yourself?

How is your injury being exacerbated by your DP's hobby? Can't he do it on his own?

Do you have to join in the hobby?

Dancing? Twister?

Why are you participating in his hobby if it could hurt you?

And why is he happy to run the risk of hurting you?

Yeah, i'd stop doing something if it was causing me pain.

Knife throwing? Magician cutting a lady in half? Jousting?

Why are you joining in if you can't without pain?

Why are you doing the hobby? What is it? First you say he hurts you then you say it’s a hobby you’re doing?

Well for a start stop doing the hobby and don’t ask him if you can You’re a grown adult and you don’t have to ask someone’s permission to stop doing something that you don’t want to do and causes you physical harm.

And then ask yourself why you’re ok with a husband who is quite willing to cause you ongoing pain as long as he gets to do what he wants.

I was worried about outing myself but I can see that this is one of those where I’ll have to. But can I be clear please I don’t want pages of people saying I can’t be hurt. I am.

He has a 1960s style vehicle. Likes to go driving in it.

I have a very bad back. I am hurled around the back like a rag doll. It really hurts me.

Probably should be a bit blunter about it but it’s hard as he is passionate about it.

@PurplePlain

Do you have to join in the hobby?

Well . . . no. Of course she doesn't.

He's not hurting you. You're hurting yourself. Stop doing the hobby.

Some really weird threads on here at the mo.

Tel him you're not doing his hobby, am I missing something? Why would you do something that you know will cause you pain?

I think you need to take your DH out of this. You keep doing something (as presumably it’s your choice) that’s exacerbating an injury. You need to stop doing it.

Would you keep doing something for pleasure that you knew caused him pain?

Would you be able to tell him that you don't want to do it anymore because it causes you pain?

Then stop going in the vehicle. Isn’t that logical? You’re a grown up. You can make these choices.

Just saw the update, just don't go!

You're doing it to yourself. Learn to say no.

Just say no thanks, surely?